BRADY QUINN’S HOLDOUT
Mitchell Blatt
Ohmigod, Ohmigod, It’s the end of the world!
As every sports fan knows, football players are ungrateful, egocentric brats, and none more so than the holdouts. Why wouldn’t a rookie with no contract want to go into camp and risk ending their career broke with an injury? They obviously don’t care about their team. Here in Cleveland, Brady Quinn has been being a complete jerk…
Look at all the Browns gave him: a roster spot, a jersey, a hat… We’re his hometown team. Why won’t he sign? As we all know, the Browns, coming off an impressive 4-12 season, are one of the most sought-after teams for NFL players.
Brady needs us more than we need him. We have Pro Bowl caliber QBs in Frye and Andersen. It’s not like Quinn has enough money to afford his food, clothing, and everyday items like Hummers and $400 haircuts. It’s illegal for Notre Dame boosters and agent Tom Condon to give him money, so they certainly haven’t. (he he)
Quinn stinks anyway. We don’t want him. Never mind that we went crazy slobbering over him on draft day, trading two firsts and a second round pick to get him. He has bad accuracy and no leadership. He can’t win the big game. (The Browns on the other hand, are great at winning big games!)
So, in conclusion, Brady, go to hell. We don’t want you here; we want you in Pittsburgh (like I said, go to hell). You’re a holdout and a pretty boy. Pretty boys named Brady are never good. (Look at New England.)
Brady Quinn Jersey ONLY $29!
Framed 8×10 Photo of Quinn Getting Drafted
Quinn Notre Dame Jersey
Holdout
Top 10 Worst Hairstyles in Sports
Celts Get Garnett; Watch out East
Dick Cheney’s New Media Policy: Shoot the Critics
PETA Thinks Georgia Encourages Dogfighting With Name Bulldogs?
Drew Rosenhaus Cursed?
Diamondbacks on a Roll
Jon Gruden Soon to be Fired
LeBron James Phone Prank
Popularity: 3% [?]
Leave a Reply