Bonds has hit his 756th. Now the question becomes, what’s next? For everybody.

Is it possible that such a complex situation doesn’t have just one short cut of an answer?
Is it okay to not like the man behind the mask, but to marvel at what’s he’s accomplished?
Is it feasible to be disgusted at yourself because you can’t look away, all the while hoping he falls on his face?

Because it must be. Because I am unsure how to think. This whole Bonds things is just all sorts of crazy. It opens up Pandora’s box, and shuts down the question: Will he reach it? I think he just did*

The day has come. Bonds has hit his 756th. By now, most of you know what the media thinks, so I’m not going to feed you that over-played you know what. Instead, here’s how I look at this crazy bag of lies/pot of gold at the end of the rainbow of hell.

1. He did it!
Like Bonds or hate him, Barry Bonds has just eclipsed the most amazing record in sports. We’re not talking one great season here, we’re talking 20+ seasons in a marathon not a sprint. Say what you want about the whole performance enhancing drugs issue, but the record in itself is amazing, and to see the chase unfold before our very eyes, even more stunning in high definition.

2. He did it?
As in, how did he do it. Most of us are convinced he did use some sort of steroid, and that does indeed give this record a black eye. Bud Selig didn’t even show up to the game, and it’s obvious he is a big skeptic too. Let’s be real: if this was someone he liked, say a Albert Pujols or Alex Rodriguez, Selig is high fiving big time execs in fancy 10,000 dollar suits, while doing the cha cha. He clearly felt vulnerable (as he should have) during this whole pursuit. After all, who goes to nine straight Giants games without talking to Barry for even a second. The whole thing stinks, all the way from San Fran to Milwaukee, down to Sunny South Florida.

3. Phew, it’s over!
Bud Selig must be so relieved this whole mess is over with. Bonds had his moment in the sun (for better or worse) and now he’s through. At least for a little while, and after we stop dissecting what this means. The Barry Bonds-apalooza has reached its fitting conclusion: late at night with most people asleep, Bonds hitting it off a no name pitcher that plays for Washington of all times, all in the friendly confines of AT&T Park. You hear that Bud, sports fans alike, you can go back to sleep now. Tomorrow you get to re-live everything you missed!

4. I almost didn’t want it to end
Say what you want about Bonds (it’s all probably been said time after time anyways), the treatment he got after cranking that home run out into the stands was truly a sight to behold. Never in my life have I seen a game stopped that long for a ceremony. Truly something. Whether you like him or not, that’s merely indifferent at this point. That ceremony that the Giants planned was truly amazing, and I was left wanting more at the end. Scary, I know.

5. Aaron speaks!
Well, there you go America. Hank Aaron continued to show why he’s one of the classiest gentlemen in sports when he congratulated Bonds on the massive jumbotron after Bonds belted out 756. Aaron, you may not like Bonds, but it took moxy and the “I don’t have to stoop down to his level” effect to wisely congratulate the man who doesn’t deserve your record. For that Hank, you are an even better person then you were yesterday, and 755 will never die because of it.

6. What now ESPN2?
You just lost your programming guide for the next two weeks. Just curious, if that Bonds chase had lasted a month, would every Giants game be put on the deuce, leading to the channel’s renaming: ESPN Bonds. And on that note, thank goodness this whole thing is over, because Washington-San Fran is arguably one of the most depressing head to head match ups you can assemble right now.

7. To the victor goes the…
Clever designs. ESPN.com and SI.com both came up with catchy graphics for Bond’s 756, while CBS Sportsline (a yellow bar? a yellow bar?) falls flat. Kudos to SI for showing journalistic integrity, as they managed to slide in an asterisk in place of the “O” on Bonds’ jersey. I normally love your stuff SI.com, but that was a low blow during a huge event for your industry. Save your judgments and assumptions for a later day.

8. O no, what do we do now?
The Bonds chase is over. Uh, what, do we uh, um, uh, damn, I can’t even form a complete sentence trying to come up with something to replace all that Bonds filler stuff. I mean, excessive re-runs of the Bronx is Burning just ain’t going to cut it. Bonds on Bonds may I suggest? Ah, just kidding, my head might literally explode. (In unrelated news: Brady Quinn’s holdout is over too, meaning that the last month and a half of sports has been rendered irrelevant. History will never be the same).

9. Is he gone?
Bonds has his 756th and the Giants have gobbled up as much of the cash cow as they can. I have a feeling this is it for the two sides. The Giants are in full on rebuilding mode, and Bonds, well he just doesn’t merit $18 million or whatever he is currently making now. I think Bonds lands in Oakland, where fans attempt to warm up to him, before attacking him with giant asterisk bobble head dolls. But uh, retirement, or the New York Yankees (You heard that right), are always an option too.

10. Is this story over yet?
Yes. It just ended. You can go back to your unicycle lessons now.