HOW LONG BEFORE A-ROD BREAKS BONDS’ RECORD?

By mhblatt • August 11, 2007

Mitchell Blatt

Hopefully, A Lot Longer Than It Took A-Rod to Hit 500

Talk about putting things in perspective. Barry Bonds breaks the home run record and now the unlikeliest of players, Alex Rodriguez, is being cheered on like Jesus vs. Satan, Red Sox vs. Yankees, FDR vs. Hitler. Only the A-Rod vs. Bonds matchup is really more like Stalin vs. Hitler. Stalin may have helped take down the Nazis, but he still killed 100 million of his own people.

Just because Bonds is a selfish jerk who took steroids, everyone thinks that A-Rod (A-Hole), another selfish jerk who took steroids, should break the record just because he’s not Bonds, and he’s closest. If you support A-Hole, I advise you to stop and think about what is happening. Major League Baseball right now is just like Germany in 1932. Things are looking bad, so we are panicking, looking everywhere and anywhere for a savior. So, now baseball’s Hitler is poised to take power.

Think about why you hate Bonds.
1.) He took steroids.
2.) He’s selfish.
3.) He’s a flake.

Think about A-Hole. You can come up with the same list:
1.) He took steroids. -Let me preface this by saying that at least 50% of MLB player’s have taken steroids. There have been enough players like Jose Caniseco and Ken Caminiti giving estimates as high as 80% that 50% is a realistic measurement. As for A-Rod, he’s a top slugger, and Caniseco says he’s writing a book that will likely implicate Rod. …And we all know how credible Caniseco is. (Note: No sarcasm.) He was proven right multiple times when players implicated in his first book, a book that took much skepticism in the national media, we suspended for failing steroid tests.

2.) He’s selfish. -I’m taking this as a given, but for any of you who don’t already think he’s selfish (not like I’ll convert you), he keep complaining about not getting paid enough after signing a $252 million contract and we’ve all heard about his famous feuds with teammates.

3.) He’s a flake. -I guess feuding with teammates also contributes to his flakism, but we also know that he was cheating on his wife and now we have evidence that he might be cheating on Joslyn Morse, too.

Think about what it would mean for A-Rod to hold the record. Think about what it means for you to be making such a big deal about getting the record out of Bonds’ hands. It means that the record means something. As much as people said they were going to not care and not pay attention to this fraud, they have inevitably cared. They are giving credence to Bonds’ claim as the home run king by railing against him. If the record were really so unimportant, we would simply go on with our daily life, hailing Hank Aaron as our king. Instead, it’s as if the record determines who is king and not our conscience. We are doing everything we can in these desperate times to try to reverse the overthrow and keep Aaron in power. Give up. It’s over. It’s been over ever since MLB decided to ignore the problem in the ’90’s. It’s not a big deal. Aaron can still be your king. The record is what you want to make of it.