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If 100,000 People Read This Post, Tom Brady Will Fail a Drug Test

Mitchell Blatt



Facebook Groups Have Promised Sports Victories if People Join Them


If you are over 29, ignore this post because you probably don’t know how to use Facebook.

Cubs World Series title if 100,000 people join. As of now, only 344 people have joined, so this group appears to have a realistic title. Other groups include “If 100,000 people join this group, than chelsea will win the league,” “If 1000 peole join, the Sixers will win the lottery,” and “If 10,000 people join, the Tigers will win the World Series.”

Well, obviously, the Sixers didn’t win the lottery, the Tigers didn’t win the World Series, and the Cubs will NEVER win the World Series.

I’m basing those assumptions (well, facts) not on a detailed analysis of sports probabilities, but on the fact that every group came up short in their quest for members. The Tigers World Series group is only at 49, and the World Series just happened last month. Members usually stay around for a while after their groups fail, so that’s incredibly low for just weeks after the Series.


It is still up-in-the-air why certain groups do not succeed in their groups that accomplish seemingly unrelated goals, but with the Darfur example, I think it might be because the Janjaweed rebels, who are massacring Darfurians, do not have internet access.

However, there have been other groups that seek to accomplish goals which some might deem “realistic” because the people in charge actually have influence over the outcome. For example, last winter, Jonathan Morse started a group proclaiming that if 250,000 people joined it, he would go streaking at the first Red Sox-Yankees game of this year.

He got the necessary number of members but didn’t do it. This time it is easier to find the culprit: Jon Morse is a coward. Morse’s Gerald Warrenesque smack talk provocked a wildfire of backlash and multiple groups against him. Most of those have since been deleted as has Morse’s group.

Why do I bring this up? It just goes to show that technology doesn’t always do what it is meant to do. In the larger scheme of life, things don’t always work out as we want them to. We expect more than we can get. Just as the Patriots signal stealing hasn’t helped them win 5 straight Super Bowls, neither has any Facebook group. Facebook was created with the noble vision of fixing everyone’s problems just by having a ton of people join a group. Sadly, it hasn’t worked out that way, but it has functioned as a good tool to communicate with friends. Everything finds a purpose.

This seems like a weird post to me, too, but I had fun writing it. Post your thoughts in the comments.

Then again, if you got this far, you probably didn’t completely hate it.


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UPDATE: I found a great post over on A List SEO about how to respond to people linking to your posts. He says it is not good enough just thank them, you should Digg or Stumble them, too.

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mhblatt

mhblatt

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