The Patriots are undefeated, and ESPN knows you haven’t got enough of them, so they added a special section to their ticker:

If you are having trouble reading the ESPN ticker there, it lists the Patriots as an individual category, and it mentions how two of the past four teams to start out the season 13-0 have won the Super Bowl. (Wow, I didn’t know that teams that win a lot did well in the playoffs.)

That segment of PTI was the jackpot. It had the Patriots news up on the ticker while Mike Wilbon was talking about Spygate. Apparently the Jets might have spied on the Patriots. And yet the CIA can’t even spy well enough to find weapons in a Glock factory.

One thing Joe Gibbs didn’t count on when coming back to the league (along with proper timeout use) was the extreme media coverage and scrutiny. Case in point the New England Patriots. Their season started off with a (cue John Madden) BOOM!

Spygate was week one. They kept winning big through the early season, but it wasn’t until week eight that they officially started running up the score. After beating the Redskins 52-7, all of their previous big wins turned out to have involved running up the score. The NFL has yet to punish them for running up the score.

The next week, they won Super Bowl XLI and a half. (ESPN didn’t give any stats on how many teams that win the midseason Super Bowl go on to win the real Super Bowl.)

Still having not garnered enough media coverage, they decided to play a few close ones and get people thinking these guys could lose. So much so that some guy I don’t know guaranteed a Steelers win over the Patriots. After further investigation, it was found out that the person who made the guarantee was Anthony Smith, a second-year man who somehow found his way into the starting lineup.

Look at me, I’m Tom Brady!

I hang out with famous people!

His guarantee might have held some ground, though, if he hadn’t been burnt for two deep touchdowns. Two touchdowns less, and the Patriots only win by 7.

And now here we are in week nine, and the Patriots and Jets are getting their spy teams together for another friendly matchup between the Genius and the Mangenius. I wonder if Belichick shakes hands with his former assistant? Hopefully ESPN gets some good analysis on what happens with that.

Next the Patriots have Miami and the New York Giants. The undefeated vs the unvictreated. Miami passing the torch off to the new perfects. Big Story! Get Don Shula on TV talking about how many asterisks the Patriots need. Ask how much wine he’ll drink if the Fins beat the Patriots.

Finally, the Giants. Nothing makes Patriots-Giants a big story except that it’s the last game of the season. Will the Patriots slip? Will they get complacent? …Should they rest their starters?

I can’t wait to get to find out.

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