Minute by Minute Analysis!

I started out the college football season blogging LSU’s win over Mississippi State. Now, LSU is back, and so am I, for the season’s finish. If you didn’t watch the game, or you just want to relive the thrill of victory and/or pain of defeat depending on who wins, read on.

8:21 Tony Dorsett tosses the coin. As the visiting team, Louisianna State, playing all the way in Louisianna calls the toss. For Ohio State, it’s like a Saints home game circa Katrina.

8:24 Bucks take the opening kick, don’t return it for a touchdown. That’s good, because ESPN reported earlier that the last one team to return a kickoff in a college football national championship for a touchdown lost the game.

8:27 Chris Wells runs 65 yards for a TD. The drive ran less than two minutes off the clock. OSU is 0-1 when scoring first in BCS National Title Games vs SEC opponents.

8:32 LSU has three All-SEC players on their offense. Ohio State has none.

8:33 LSU snaps it on third down 14 yards over QB Flynn’s head. They punt on 4th n 24. Not very aggresive playcalling…

8:36 I learn that the 2008 Full-Size Nissan Titan’s truck frame can stop a powerful diesel electric engine. This is the truck I need if I ever get stuck in a jam with a diesel electric engine pulling me down the tracks, and I’m hanging onto the frame of my truck for dear life, and OnStar is broken.

8:37 OSU QB Todd Boeckman throws for about 40 yards on the first play of the Buck’s next drive. Apparently their start of the game is “absolutely perfect” (the analysts words, not mine).

8:40 OSU kicks a field goal, up 10-0. Not so perfect now, only a 50% touchdown rate.

8:48 Jacob Hester has “deceptive speed.” Aha, so that’s what kind of speed the SEC has!

Deceptive. Hester looks faster

on Sundays.

8:56 Inside the 20, LSU had 3rd n 13, and some of OSU’s fast D-linemen blitzed Flynn and forced an incompletion. Guess LSU didn’t do a good enough job of masking and deceiving with their speed.

Their FG makes it 10-3, OSU.

9:05 Undisputable proof that social security is broken: Sylvester Stallone is appearing in another Rambo.

Rambo 4: Sad, but true.

9:10 LSU is advancing slowly down the field. Now, they just made a big pass then the receiver got facemasked, so they just got from past the 50 to the 10 then they scored.

Score now tied at 10. My prediction going into the game that, “It’s gonna be close,” is so far being proved correct.

9:16 Chris “Beanie” Wells stampedes down the field and knocks C. Jackson, “The All-SEC corner,” over with his stiffarm. My friends say that “reminds me of Clarett.” Only without the cop cars chasing.

9:19 Boeckman throws for the end zone, and Robiskie has it in stride in the corner then drops it. Like father, like son, I guess.

9:26 Buck’s field goal is blocked, and LSU is driving down the field quickly, now inside the 30. Frankly, I don’t know enough about LSU to make a smart ass comment about it.

9:27 Trindon Holliday runs for about 20 yards, 8 of them forward. This guy is an olympic class sprinter. Guess we know where the term “SEC speed” comes from.

9:30 LSU TD!!!!! LSU takes the lead 17-10.

9:33 Uh oh! The cable guy tried to stop the Scooby Mystery Gang from switching to DirecTV! Luckily those meddling kids stopped him.

9:37 More concerning: Boeckman throws a deep pick as he is pressured. Even with 36 minutes left in the game, and the Bucks only down by 7 (soon to be 14, though, LSU is in the Red Zone, now at the 1), “the game is already over,” one of my friends is saying.

Note: Not the Ford F-150.

9:41 The Ford F-150 gives the Nissan Titan a run for its money. The Titan can stop a speeding train; the F-150 can stop a 747.

9:49 The Bears Super Bowl loss last year earned Rex Grossman the nickname “Wrecks.” Boeckman is headed that way. He’s 6/13 with an interception, and he just fumbled on a key thrid down, but the Bucks recovered to punt.

9:56 The Bucks are down 24-10 at halftime, and the Southwest Airlines Halftime Report is coming on. Well, I just wanna get away, so see ya. Someone please tell me the results in the morning.

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