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Who Will Cavs Fans Hate Now?

Perenial laughingstalks Larry Hughes, Donyell Marshall, and even Drew Gooden all gone along with three others.

MITCHELL BLATT

Most Clevelanders are happy about the trade that sent Ben Wallace, Wally Szczerbiak, Delonte West, and Joe Smith to Cleveland. On the surface it looks like a good trade. The Cavs brought in quality stars and will be able to put Wallace back at his natural position of power forward. They got rid of the underperforming, overpaid Larry Hughes.

But think of what else Hughes was besides underperforming and overpaid? Highly mocked. Same with Donyell Marshall and Drew Gooden. Who will Cavs fans rag on now? Who else but Larry Hughes elicits Myspace users to name their profiles in homages, like “Larry Hughes SUCKS?” Who else but Donyell Marshall can incite the creation of a Facebook group on how Donyell Marshall is an owl and how he can’t make three-pointers unless the Cavs are up by 10?

Who are we going to hate now? I’ll tell ya.

Eric Sno-O-O-O-ow

Forget about him, Cavs fans? Despite the fact that he is averaging only 13 minutes a game (and thus having his best season yet), we will never forget him.

As a point guard who can’t pass or shoot, we didn’t ever expect him to be good at offense, but come on, 4 points a game? After averaging 10 in his final year with the Sixers, he has never averaged more than 4.8 with the Cavs. This year, he has averaged 0.9. However, this is also the first year that he has averaged more assits than points scored. I would congratulate him, but not until he gets his 45% free throw rate and 16% field goal rate up.

<*** src="http://static.flickr.com/49/115857439_3199180af5.jpg" width="300">
Eric Snow playing some great defense (with help from the refs) to make up for his lack of offense.

Eric Snow playing more great defense:

Damon Jones

I’d like to think I’m a good writer, but I must confess, nothing I can write can explain Damon Jones as well as these pictures can:
<*** src="http://www.damonjones.biz/blog/uploaded_images/11-772858.jpg" width="200">
<*** src="http://www.nba.com/media/cavaliers/damon_coat_061121.jpg" width="140">
<*** src="http://web.wireimage.com/images/tnm/7592592.jpg" width="100">
<*** src="http://www.blogsmithmedia.com/sports.aol.com/fanhouse/media/2008/02/damon-jones-all-star-jacket.jpg" width="200">

Damon Jones Quote:
“Not only am I the most attractive player in Cleveland, I am the most attractive player in the NBA. If I decide to go out to dinner or a club after a game, you’ll never see Damon Jones running behind any women. I don’t have to. women choose. If a woman is interested in Damon Jones, she’s going to have to pursue me or we will never meet. I don’t have to pursue any woman. I have what every woman wants. I’m attractive, I’m charismatic, I’m rich. I’m every woman’s dream.”

Damon Jones’ Coat Mezmerizes Charles Barkley

That’s all fun and entertaining, Damon, but you can’t act like T.O. when you average 6 points per game.

LeBron James

Cavs fans hate James? The NBA leader in scoring? The Chosen One? The Messiah Before Obama?

Ya, well, he is a Yankees fan and wears a Yankees hat to Indians playoff games, and some Clevelanders are a little uptight about it.

One Final Farewell

So long Donyell Marshall forgetting to wear his jersey.

So long Larry Hughes’ tattoos.
<*** src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/5887/378/320/Hughes%202.jpg">
<*** src="http://www.nba.com/media/act_larry_hughes.jpg">
<*** src="http://blog.cleveland.com/earlyedition/medium_hughes.jpg">
Notice the teardrops under his left eye (right side on the screen) to symbolize the hurt he feels from the loss of his brother.

Here’s a video for the tattoo-obsessed where Hughes shows off and explains all of his tattoos (there’s even more under his jersey):

Rip Hamilton got paid to wear his cornrows like the Goodyear tire treads. Larry Hughes ought to get some kind of deal like that with some tattoos. Because when his $13 million a year contract expires… well, he won’t be making $13 million a year.

So long Drew Gooden playing pretty well, not doing anything special, and occasionally eliciting negative reactions just because it’s fun to do so.

I mean what can I say about Drew Gooden? He’s a good guy and a fine player. I guess the only thing about him is that he died a few years back, but still seems to be playing–exceptional for a dead guy if you ask me–and wants the media to call him “The Big Drizzle,” but hasn’t played well enough or had enough of a personality for it to catch on.

Drew Gooden as The Big Drizzle, False Death Reported

Other Cavs Posts
Stephen A Thinks LeBron No Es MVP
STFU About LeBron Being a Yankees Fan

About the Author

mhblatt

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5 Responses to “Who Will Cavs Fans Hate Now?”

  1. Maybe we should go back to hating the weather.

  2. Being that I’m not a Cleveland fan, can I just continue to hate Cleveland?

  3. I love the video clip of Marshall not wearing his jersey.

    On the topic of the trade, I do not think this will be as beneficial as some fans feel it should be. Wallace is on his last legs and Wally, well he can shoot if there is no one around.

    I do expect Joe Smith to help out James’ game, but not sure if it will be enough to help them return to the Finals.

  4. This is nice one and gives in depth information

  5. I’ve said that least 1187726 times. The problem this like that is they are just too compilcated for the average bird, if you know what I mean

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