Duke’s approach to environmental activism includes turning the arena into Notre Dame.

MITCHELL BLATT

Prior to Duke’s victory over NC State last night, no one knew about the problems of global warming and it’s impact on the environment, and even if they did, they didn’t know that they could save the world by driving hybrids and jetpooling together instead of flying their private jets all by themselves.

But, now that Duke had green shirts passed out at the game, the environment is practically saved! If only more people wore green shirts, we wouldn’t have any pollution in our skies.

I’m not saying those shirts don’t serve a purpose: Supporting a trendy cause like environmentalism and broadcasting your support to everyone around you can do wonders for your self-esteem, but it’s amazing how little the world’s carbon content changed after last night.

It’s also amazing how little the fans cared about the environment at halftime. Down by 9, the fans assumed, with equally potent logic that by wearing more blue, they would help Duke come back. They tossed their shirts out onto the court in favor of the blue that most people had on under it. (The shirts were passed out at the game.)

Don’t think that they were casually tossing away a shirt that took power and resources to make, just so it could be put into a landfill somewhere. No, they were being environmentally conscious, so they recycled the shirts:

Look, I have no problem with people advocating for a cause and trying to change the world for the better. Cutting down on pollution and driving fuel efficient cars is something we should all try to work on. But, passing out green shirts for fans at a game is just obnoxious. It’s not like people don’t already know about environmental problems. They have been dominating the news for the past few years. So passing out green shirts serves no purpose.

It’s just like all these other popular causes. There have been protests in Washington over genocide in Darfur that the UN has done nothing to stop. Those people think it’s such an atrocity that a country like the US, that is already mired in an unpopular war in Iraq that overthrew yet another dictator who perpetrated genocide, should do something about Darfur, so instead of doing something about Darfur themselves, they protest and wear a shirt that says they are compassionate.

Now I know there’s nothing they can do to stop the violence, but they if they really want to help, the thing to do would be helping refugees of Darfur in America. These so-called “Lost Boys” have come to America from Sudan and other countries to escape the violence and some of them are having trouble adjusting to America, so they need help.

Furthermore, I don’t understand how certain causes generate enough attention to be the next great crisis like Darfur. There are genocides and corrupt governments across the globe, yet we only seem to focus on them one at a time. Since the Janjaweed rebels and other militias are never going to stop killing people in Darfur, we might just be focusing on it forever. South Korea, Burma, and so many other countries will never have their day.

So, go ahead, college students, keep wearing your green shirts. Just don’t think you’re doing anything to save the planet.

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