I’m taking submissions for Stephen A Smith Hate Week now, and if anyone hates him enough and wants to proclaim it, send me an email at mhblatt(at)gmail.com. Here is the first submission from Brian Sharp at Number 1 Happy Street. It’s a fun little song that hope to see featured on American Idol.

(Screamed)
FOLKS, I’D LIKE TO SING A SONG ABOUT THE AMERICAN DREAM. ABOUT MY AMERICAN DREAM. ABOUT THAT SPECIAL FEELING I GET WHEN I’M ON TV YELLING AT PEOPLE AND CAUSING THEIR EARS TO BLEED. ABOUT THAT FEELING WE ALL GET WHEN I’M DISCUSSING THE KNICKS BEING ON THE CLOCK LATE IN THE FIRST ROUND AND QUITE FRANKLY, YOU JUST CAN’T STOP ME.

(Sung)
I’m just as good as a pill, when you’re not feeling well.
I compare myself to the great, Howard Cosell.
I like basketball and politics and football and such.
Isiah and Obama and Brady ’cause he’s clutch.
My wife and my job, Rosa Parks and my car.
Hangin’ out with MJ, and a big fat cigar.

But sometimes that just ain’t enough to keep a man like me interested.
No way.
No, I’ve gotta go out and have fun at everyone else’s expense.
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

I scream really loud, and I yell at my peers,
As people who watch me start to bleed from their ears.

I’m an asshole
I’m an asshole

My football advice makes me sound like a clown,
Like kicking a field goal when it’s only third down.

I’m an asshole
I’m an asshole

Sometimes I go off on intelligible rants,
While wiping cheese doodle remnants on my pants.

I’m an asshole
I’m an asshole

Maybe I shouldn’t be singing this song,
Ranting and raving and carrying on.
Maybe they’re right when they tell me I’m wrong…
NAAAAH!

I’m an asshole
I’m an asshole

(Screamed)
YOU KNOW WHAT I’M GONNA DO? I’M GONNA SHARE MY THOUGHTS ABOUT ONLINE BLOGS. YEAH YOU HEARD ME, I SAID ONLINE BLOGS. I KNOW I HAVE ONE, BUT I’M A PROFESSIONAL. AHEM, I MEAN A QUALIFIED PROFESSIONAL. BUT WHEN YOU LOOK AT THIS INTERNET BUSINESS, WHAT’S DANGEROUS ABOUT IT IS THAT PEOPLE WHO ARE CLEARLY UNQUALIFIED GET TO DISEMIN….DISSEM…..DISASSEMBLINATE THEIR PIECE TO THE MASSES. THE FACT OF THE MATTER IS SOMEONE WITH NO TRAINING SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED TO HAVE ANY KIND OF FORMAT TO DISASSEMBLINATE TO THE MASSES TO THE LEVEL WHICH THEY CAN. THEY ARE NOT TRAINED. LIKE I AM. I AM TRAINED. I DESERVE MY VOICE. AND QUITE FRANKLY YOU’RE GONNA CONTINUE HEARING IT. LOUDLY. AND YOU KNOW WHY?

(Sung)
Cause I’m an asshole
I’m an asshole
A S-S H-O L-E
Everybody, A S-S-H-O L-E
SLA, VE MED, VE DENK, OH OH
Thoomph A-thoom-thoom, A-thoom-thoom, A-thoom-thoom.
Oooooooo

(Screamed)
I’M AN ASSHOLE AND I’M PROUD OF IT

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