THE WEEK THAT WAS
COLIN LINNEWEBER
I thank you all for taking the time to give me some of your time. I hope I am able to entertain with my rapid take on the past few days in the world of sports.
• Everybody has varying tastes. That is why they make both chocolate and vanilla ice cream. From my vantage, with the exception of Davidson College and the tremendous moxie that they exhibited en route to advancing to the Elite Eight, this has been a relatively ho-hum tournament that really hasn’t captivated my interest.
Nevertheless, with all four number one seeds advancing to the Final Four for the first time since 1979, I entirely anticipate that the final week of the season will more than redeem this years version of March Madness. At the very least, the greatest collection of talent on the collegiate hardwood will be on display in San Antonio and Memphis Coach John Calipari always has the propensity to leave some form of an indelible moment while in “Alamo City.”
For reference, after coaching UMASS to a hard-fought victory over Temple University in 1994, Calipari was nearly accosted by John Chaney during his post-game interview after he incited the former psychotic, loose-cannon leader of the owls.
“I’ll kill your f**king ass,” bellowed the manic former Owl while being restrained by his own players. “You remember that! The next time I see you, I’ll kick your ass! Kick your ass!”
If that incident wasn’t enough fodder for the ages, in 1998 “Coach Cal” called Newark Star Ledger reporter Dan Garcia a “fu**ing Mexican idiot” after being posed with an unfavorable question. The gist of the matter is, if UCLA, Kansas, North Carolina or Memphis can’t provide excitement, Calipari by his lonesome could.
• This weekend, I watched Bryant Gumbel’s interview on HBO’s Real Sports with former New York Mets and Philadelphia Phillies standout Lenny Dykstra and I walked away baffled by what I viewed. Dykstra, who was named last year in the Mitchell Report as an abuser of steroids and whose off-the-field lifestyle was notorious throughout his twelve-year career, has shockingly flourished in the world of finances. Since retiring from the sport of baseball in 1998, Dykstra has made millions in the stock market and he is considered by many as something of a Wall Street wizard.
“Lenny’s one of the three or four people who, if they gave me a stock tip, I would listen,” said financial guru Jim Cramer in the segment.
Despite the fact that “Nails” now moves with the grace of Ozzy Osborne and he speaks with the eloquence of Andrew Dice Clay on smack, he is not somebody to underestimate because of his unrefined and inarticulate ways. Lenny recently sold his car wash chain for $55 million and he purchased Wayne Gretzky’s house in California last year for $17 million. He is a man who has mostly achieved on and off the field via hard-work, grit and determination. Lenny Dykstra is generally someone to be admired.
Unfortunately, like the majority of his peers did in their heydays, he cheated by utilizing synthetic testosterone and he subsequently lied about taking them (including during this interview). “Nails” Dykstra is yet another well-intending person who was corrupted by the dreaded Steroid Era and he ultimately became one of the rogue timeframe’s poster children.
• “We’re a flat team on the road. We’re in games, but I’d like to get a win on the road. I don’t count the Knicks. We have to go out there and beat a good team,” said New Jersey Nets forward Richard Jefferson last week in a great instance of candor.
Jefferson and his Nets teammates shouldn’t count beating the New York Knicks. If an N.B.A. team loses to the Knickerbockers, they either are a pathetic and feeble squad or they uncaring quitters who don’t deserve to be thought of as paid professionals.
• Former Chicago Cubs left fielder Moises Alou acknowledged yesterday that he never would have caught the foul ball in game six of the NLCS against the Florida Marlins that made Steve Bartman a pariah in the “Windy City.”
“Everywhere I play, even now, people still yell, ‘Bartman! ‘Bartman!’ I feel really bad for the kid,” said Alou. “You know what the funny thing is? I wouldn’t have caught it, anyway.”
Enough already, North-Siders! Can we finally let this poor sap who is in self-imposed exile off the hook? It’s not like Bartman blatantly banged the pooch and, with Alou’s admission, we now have virtual confirmation that the Cubbies didn’t fold that autumn night in 2003 because of his desire to snare a foul ball in the stands. All I can say is, “Free Bartman!” Ask this man, wherever he’s bunkered-up, to throw out the first pitch of a game at Wrigley or enable him the chance to be a guest announcer at a ballgame. Do something kind for this lifelong and immortally loathed Chicago Cubs fanatic. One night has cost him 5-years. Enough is enough.
• “The Nature Boy” Ric Flair, 59, retired Sunday night after he lost to “the Heartbreak Kid” Shawn Michaels at WrestleMania XXIV in Orlando, Florida. Flair, a 16-time world champion who earned a scholarship in 1969 to play football for the University of Minnesota, became one of the biggest icons to ever step into the squared circle. “Naitch” deserves a lifetime of credit for the commitment and passion that he put into the “sport” of professional wrestling everytime he entered the ring since debuting in 1972. As Flair says, he was a “Stylin’, profilin’, limousine riding, jet flying, kiss-stealing, wheelin’ n’ dealin’ son of a gun!” Ric Flair, a man who survived a serious plane crash in 1975, was more than that. Ric Flair was the greatest performer in the history of his profession and he will always be cherished by fans of the male soap opera known as “rasslin.” “Wooooooo!” He was, and he always will be, “the man!”
I thank you all for giving me your time. Without your readership, I’d have absolutely zero reason to write.
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On the same day that Ric Flair is ousted, so is legendary Boston anchor Bob Lobel. How fitting. Two legends in their own right.
Bartman, ironic as it is, is the perfect representative of Cubs fans as a whole. Bunch of jackass baseball-Gumps. They deserve each other, him and his fellow fans.
Pats are working out McFadden today at Gillette….u nervous yet?
A ho-hum blog, from the prettiest man at Golds, for a ho-hum sports week. WOOOOOOOO!!
It’s clear that the Yanks and Jets are on down slides which is reflected in your blog this week. Without the usual twisted Yanks and Jets vitriol your writing is clear and concise … or maybe it’s because you’re finally over that whole Ross obsession. BB is right - you are the prettiest man at Gold’s … ho-hummer!
Yawn - I get the same bored feeling from reading this that most of your dates must feel when they discover their date is hung like a hampster
Professional wrestling, like Nascar, isn’t a sport - should we expect some Ricky Bobby tidbits next week? Professional wresting and Nascar are for the “illiterati”… like Cletus on the Simpsons whom I hear is your brother, cousin and uncle.
Stop harrassing patrons at Gold’s - your pipes are enough to scare people - no need to verbally harang them as well
Other than that a pretty good and very unbiased posting.
Yo - Brad - Don’t cry for Lobel, he will end up on WEEI and do very well. You are right about Bartman - !&%$ the little weasel. Never intererfere with the ball - go buy one at a concession stand for five bucks - he should be strung up and skinned - You are right too about CWebb - he is the prettiest man at Gold’s - I hear he’s a big hit in the suana.
“Mean Jean….wooooooooooooooooooooo!”
Nascar may not be a sport, but it gets much higher ratings than mlb, nhl, and the nba so it must be doing something right.
Jefferson sounds like the Mavs back in the day when they would win like 15 games a year, but would beat Garnett and his Timberwolves. They would say we need to beat a good team and the Wolves did not count.
There was a reason that Flair stayed around so long and it was because he blew all his money and needed to work.
God bless y’all.