These numbers suggest that this week, logic need not apply in the sports world

SCOTT JACOBS

Welcome to another edition of JUICED NUMBERS. I post this on the same night that Carlos Mencia debuts his Performance Enhanced* comedy skit. This week, we bring you Performance Enhanced Numbers. Stats that at least for the Tampa Bay Rays, don’t call them Devil Rays, seem crazy, but actually are real. Don’t touch that remote folks! You might miss the Yankees losing another game.

-8- This week was a historic week for the Tampa Bay Rays. Not only did they manage to get the spotlight along with the Marlins, but they (unlike Florida) kept winning. Tampa Bay even got to eight games above .500 on May 16th, a first for the Rays ever. That says two things. One, Tampa Bay has finally turned the corner. Two, the Rays (I guess I mean Devil Rays) stand alone in infamy for having the worst 10 opening seasons to start a franchise in baseball history. Eight games above .500, not once before this week? Wow, I have a new found respect for loyal Rays fans.

-288- He’s not the superstar he once was, but Randy Johnson is just 12 wins away from 300. After shutting down the Detroit baby cats for seven innings in a 4-0 Diamondbacks win, Arizona’s greatest player in team history, continued down his slow path to become the last player in baseball history to get to the magical mark. He can’t hit the 98 mph mark, but Johnson still has enough to be a quality arm in a stacked Snakes rotation. He’s now won 4 straight decisions, and the D’backs are a Major League best 28-16.

-8- The only reason the Boston Celtics are in the Eastern Conference Finals is their sterling 8-0 record inside the Garden. I should be quick to clarify that your daddy’s Celtics these are not, because Boston has been atrocious on the road this post-season. They won an exciting game seven to defeat the over-matched Daniel Gibson-less Cavs, and get Detroit starting Tuesday. Boston has reason to be afraid though: their home wins are getting closer and closer, and the Pistons will eat the Celts alive if they repeat their second round game one abomination this Tuesday night.

-6- Pittsburgh did on Sunday in their 6-0 game five win, what the Detroit Red Wings were unable to do on Saturday: secure a spot in the Stanley Cup Finals. I will admit that I have not followed the playoffs like I usually do, but Pittsburgh’s rise to the top of the East is truly amazing. Just a few years ago the Pens were on the verge of moving from Pittsburgh. Mario Lemieux has done amazing things as owner of that team, including keeping them in the Steel City, and now they’re going to the finals for the first time since him and Jagr did it back in 1992. Worth noting: just 17 months ago, a very rich Canadian opted not to buy the team, and in essence ended efforts to move them to Canada. Now, they’re four wins away from their third title in team history.

-1- … More win if Big Brown wants to secure the Triple Crown. I confess to not giving two s*** about horse racing, but the feat is becoming rarer by the day. Brown won by an impressive 5 1/4-lengths at the Preakness, and is a win at Belmont from claiming the sports’ first sweep since Affirmed in 1978. One, may also be symbolic of the number of people at out of every 10 so called sports fans who actually care. Nevertheless, it’s worth noting because, well, I couldn’t think of anything else.

-5.5- Games out of first place the New York Yankees are. Here’s the amazing thing: in the National League West, the Los Angeles Dodgers are also 5.5 games out of first place in their division. They’re in second place! The NL West is so lopsided right now in Arizona’s favor, that the Dodgers are really the D’backs only opposition for a second straight NL West crown. The second biggest first place to second place deficit in baseball: the Cubs lead the Cardinals by two games in the NL Central. The moral to the story: Arizona’s division lead is more then twice that of any division leader in baseball.

-.87- The difference in batting points between the NL batting leader Chipper Jones and the AL batting leader Mark Grudzielanek. Granted, Jones is batting an astronomical .412, and making an early season push to finish the season above .400, but that kind of gap between the two league leaders is almost unheard of. In fact, Grudzielanek’s .325 batting average wouldn’t even be good enough for fifth in the National League! Have the tables turned, or have we just found a loop hole in one patricular offensive category between the two leagues?

-2- Dallas is two wins away from coming back from a 3-0 deficit. Game six is at home at the American Airlines Center, and a Stars win would push the once red hot Wings (9 wins in a row before losing to the Stars in game 4) to the brink of elimination. Don’t expect it to happen, but the Stars do have history sort of on their side. It’s been done twice in hockey history.

Hope you enjoyed this as much as I did researching it. See you next week for another edition of JUICED NUMBERS, and in the meantime, hugs not drugs.

Goodnight everybody.

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