While the NCAA’s at it, why don’t they just double the bowl field, so that teams in the upper 110’s have a shot at post-season glory

SCOTT JACOBS

Just rub it in our faces, NCAA!

On the same day that the BCS refused to do anything about their current crappy system, college football did manage to move closer in its efforts to get just about every team that’s mediocre into a bowl game. They felt, and I have to say, who wouldn’t agree, that we need two more bowl games, in addition to the 32 that are already being played.

Duh! That’s exactly what we need. While we’re at it, why don’t we just put a bowl game in football tradition rich Salt Lake City. I mean, they had the Winter Olympics there, so I’m sure they could handle 10,000 people at a sub par game. O, wait, you mean they tried to do that. And they were rejected? Ouch. That’s humiliating.

Considering that the NCAA now has a Florida Bowl prepaid Package– now you can see all SIX bowls played in the Sunshine State– it’s only fitting that St. Pete should’ve been one of em. Because as I always say: if you can host a Super Bowl, you should no doubt get your own college bowl.

So I know you’re wondering… just what are they going to call these new exciting bowl games, and how does it affect the perfect current format we have… that isn’t flawed at all (wink wink).

Introducing…

the Congressional Bowl and… the St. Petersburg Bowl!

This according to the Associated Press, “With the addition of the St. Petersburg Bowl, the Big East will no longer face a C-USA opponent in the PapaJohns.com Bowl in Birmingham, Ala. Instead, the Southeastern Conference will provide the opposition.”

Yay.

Now we can add those fun friends to this already terrific list of bowls:

Allstate Sugar, AT&T Cotton, AutoZone Liberty, BCS National Championship, Bell Helicopter Armed Forces, Brut Sun, Capital One, Champs Sports, Chick-fil-A, Emerald, Fed Ex Orange, Gaylord Hotels Music City, GMAC, Roady’s Humanitarian, Insight, International, Konica Minolta Gator, Meineke Car Care, Motor City, New Mexico, Outback, Pacific Life Holiday, Papajohns.com, PetroSun Independence, Pioneer Las Vegas, R+L Carriers New Orleans, Rose, San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia, Sheraton Hawaii, Texas, Tostitos Fiesta and Valero Alamo bowls.

It got me thinking. Why stop there? Clearly if bowl game names can take up an entire paragraph, why not add more?

That way, any team that qualifies enough players academically, and fields a football team for a minimum of 10 games, can get their own shot at the all important post-season game.

Who needs a playoff? I say let’s add these exciting bowls into the mix…

1. The Senior Citizens Don’t Die just yet Viagra Bowl- Miami, FL (December 20th)
2. The Miller Lite Great Taste, Crappy Bowl- Milwaukee, WI (December 14th)
3. The Big 10 really has 11 teams even though it claims to have 10 Bowl- Chicago, IL (December 19th)
4. The Great War Bowl- Iraq (In between bombings)
5. The “well your city has 100,000 people, let’s put a bowl there Bowl- Athens, GA (December 21st)
6. The Mall of America Twin Cities Bowl- played in the Mall of America!- St. Paul, MN (December 24th)
7. The 13 Original Colonies Bowl brought to you by John Hancock- Boston, MA (December 12th)
8. The Extenze your season bowl- Los Angeles, CA (TBD)
9. The Girls Gone Wild Bowl brought to you by Bud Light- Cancun, Mexico (TBD)
10. The Frostbite Bowl brought to you by Fruit Loops - Green Bay, WI (TBD)
11. The “We actually got rejected for a bowl, even though everyone else gets a bowl” Bowl- Salt Lake City, UT (TBD)
12. The Krispy Kreme Bowl- Anywhere in Texas (TBD)
13. The Mapquest Middle of Nowhere Bowl- Somewhere in Montana (TBD)
14. The Africa, don’t get AIDS bowl, brought to you by poverty!-South Africa (TBD)
15. The Vancouver Bowl- Vancouver, Canada (TBD)
16. The BCS Championship Game, post-game, Bowl- Chatanooga, TN (January 17th)
17. The when is this article going to end Bowl- Very shortly (TBD)
18. The Verizon Wireless We never Stop working to get your undeserving school a bowl game Bowl- Dover, DE
19. The Planters, Famously Freshly Crappy Teams Bowl- Site pending
20. The this article is officially over, why don’t we just get to the final fact Bowl…

“About 1.6 million fans attended last season’s bowl games, and about $222 million in revenue from those games was distributed to the participating teams and conferences,”- AP

In unrelated news, college football will never learn.

Got any good Bowl ideas? Send em in. The winner gets a smile and a shot to host their own bowl! So send in your ideas now!

My Bowl Ideas-Mitchell Blatt
1.) The Barack Obama is Anti-American Bowl and I Really Want to Win brought to you by Hillary Clinton (and Bill)-Washington, DC
2.) The I Have More Contributions Than Hillary, So I Can Afford to Sponsor a Bowl Game Rebutting What She Says Bowl sponsored by Barack Obama-Definitely not in Washington cuz I’m a Washington Outsider
3.) The AIDS Bowl brought to Black People by White People in American Government sponsored by Reverend Jeremiah Wright
4.) The Jeremiah Wright is Completely Wrong and Everything Bowl brought to you by Barack Obama
5.) The PapaJohns.com Internet Pizza Bowl
6.) The Buzz Bissinger Blogging Sucks Bowl
7.) The GoDaddy.com Strip Bowl
8.) The PapaJohns.com Meineke Car Car Don’t Drive Drunk Budweiser Goes Good With Frito-Lays Products Corporate Sponsorship Bowl
10.) The Buy This Name Here Bowl brought to you by Some Advertising Company

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