THE WEEK THAT WAS
COLIN LINNEWEBER
Big City Bias Without the Boston Bullshit
KOBE AND ALLEN FEUD
The Los Angeles Lakers will travel to Boston to play the Celtics at TD Banknorth Garden in Game 1 of the NBA Finals on Thursday evening. The Lakers and the Celtics are the two most storied franchises in the annals of professional basketball and their upcoming series is the most anticipated Finals showdown the league has provided fans with since Michael Jordan and the Chicago Bulls won their last championship in six games over the Utah Jazz in 1998.
The Celtics and the Lakers have combined for an astounding 30 championships between them (Boston has 16 championship trophies and Los Angeles has 14) and the two legendary organizations epitomize the East Coast/West Coast rivalry. A series of this magnitude does not require any additional hype to excite basketball fans throughout the world. But, for good measure, the media is feasting on the alleged animosity that exists between Lakers icon Kobe Bryant and the third leg of Boston’s “Big Three,” Ray Allen.
The perceived feud began in 2004 when Allen (who was then playing for the Seattle Supersonics) predicted that Bryant would regret the role he played in muscling Shaquille O’Neal out of Tinseltown.
“In about a year or two, he will be calling out to (Lakers Owner) Jerry Buss that, ‘we need some help in here,’ or ‘trade me,’ promised the star of Spike Lee’s movie He Got Game. “We’ll all be saying we told you so when he says that.” Allen continued, “He’s going to be very selfish. He feels like he needs to show this league and the people in this country that he is better without Shaq.”
When told of Allen’s prophetic words, Bryant disdainfully dismissed the former University of Connecticut standout by saying, “Don’t even put me and that dude in the same breath.”
It is extremely rare when two quarreling players both make valid points in their cheap shots against one another. But, in this case, Allen perfectly forecasted the fortunes of the Lakers and Bryant in their immediate post-Shaq existence and Kobe correctly scoffed at Allen for putting his beak into business that was none of his own to begin with.
Unfortunately for Allen and the rest of the Celtics, nobody in this series is “in the same breath” as Bryant and, because of that, Los Angeles will earn their 15th championship banner when this historic series is in the books.
CLAIRVOYANCE
Everybody who knows me will concede that I am a humble man and I do not like to flaunt my intelligence by saying “I told you so” when my phenomenal skills of clairvoyance shine. But, in lieu of the consistently nasty comments that I receive from two “off the boat psycho(s) who live with their mother(s) in Brockton,” Hammer and Brad Belichick, I find the need to go on the offensive and say “I told you so.” Below is an excerpt from an article that I wrote in the middle of February.
The Los Angeles Lakers (29-16) acquired 7-footer Pau Gasol, 27, Friday from the Memphis Grizzlies (13-34) for center Kwame Brown, rookie Javaris Crittenton, two first-round draft picks and the rights to Fredo Corleone (Gasol’s younger brother, Marc, 23, a 2007 second-round pick). Gasol, a creepy-looking man who looks like he could sing for the Goo Goo Dolls, is an extreme talent who may help lead the “Hollywood Fakers” to their first finals appearance since 2003. In essence, the eighties have revisited us. The Lakers will rendezvous with the Boston Celtics (36-8) come June.
http://juicedsportsblog.com/2008/02/3-days-in-sports.html
PAUL PIERCE IS NOT A HALL OF FAMER
Paul Pierce and the Boston Celtics defeated the Detroit Pistons 89-81 Friday night to advance to their first NBA Championship series since the 1987 season. The Celtics (66-16) are a tremendous team and an instrumental piece of their success is the stellar play of Pierce.
Nevertheless, recently I’ve spoken with a slew of incompetent Bostonians, all clearly intoxicated off of one too many Samuel Adams and bowls of clam chowder, who actually believe that the former Kansas Jayhawks star is a Hall of Fame talent. Pierce, 30, who was stabbed 11-times in the face, neck and back in 2000 during an altercation at Buzz Club in the city’s theater district, is a quality player who has made the All-Star team six-times and has been named to the All-NBA third team 3-times since being drafted with the 10th overall selection in the 1998 draft.
“The Truth” is, Pierce, who has averaged 23.1 points and 3.9 assists in his professional career, is a good player. But, in zero capacity should he be considered for the Basketball Hall of Fame in Springfield, Massachusetts. Objectively, how can a man who has only made the All-NBA third team be considered an all-time great? It is simply inconceivable. The closest Pierce should ever get to the “City of Homes” is the crib he owns in Lincoln and that is the factual truth of the matter.
ONE BAD BEAR
Famous 1970’s child actress Tatum O’Neal was arrested Sunday for buying crack cocaine near her Manhattan apartment. O’Neal, 44, who may be best known for her role as the tough-talking Amanda Whurlitzer with the golden-arm in The Bad News Bears, was charged with criminal possession of a controlled substance and she was released without bail. In light of O’Neal’s struggles, perhaps it is fair to assume that the alcoholic Morris Buttermaker wasn’t the best role model after all.
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Why’d you repost your Paul Pierce HOF argument?
Good call on the Lakers-Celts pick. I for one was not a believer, and thought it would take time for LA to settle in as a team. But unlike the Suns and Mavs who broke up their core to get “key new pieces”, LA traded a bag of animal crackers and half a snickers bar to get Gasol.
I look a that trade now, and forsee it being looked upon as the most lopsided trade of the decade. Now there’s a prediction for the masses!
“Unfortunately for Allen and the rest of the Celtics, nobody in this series is “in the same breath” as Bryant and, because of that, Los Angeles will earn their 15th championship banner when this historic series is in the books.”
So what you’re saying is one guy is going to single handedly beat what could be the most cohesive, balanced ‘team’ in the league? If we’re drinking too many Sammys, what’s your excuse?
Let me ask you, as someone who once lived in Brockton, is Derek Fisher going to be able guard Rajon Rondo? Will creepy looking, reed-thin Gasol be able to neutralize beefy KP43 and also KG on occassion? And what’s Kobe gonna do if he’s gotta guard Allen, help on P.P. AND carry the Fakers to victory?
You have a point about no one being able to stop Kobe for an entire series, but Boston already played a one-man team (Cavs) and look how that turned out. Bottom line is Boston has WAY too many weapons for LA, and they are going to be exposed for the sham that they are in the next two weeks.
You heard it hear first, folks: Celts in 6
BTW, what the fuck does Pierce getting stabbed have to do with his HOF- worthiness?
The Lakers are absolutely not a one man team….The one man of mention tough, Kobe, is one of he greatest ever.
I was also a non-believer and even emailed you about how I was wrong. I also emailed about a day too soon saying that I was very surprised that Flip Saunders had not been fired yet as they almost fired him last year. Plus they choked this year when they tied it at 1 to 1, and then lost 2 games at home to a team yet to win a road game in the playoffs.
I was mostly wrong about Gasol, but I should have seen how much alike he was with Garnett. They are both very good players that can not carry a team on their own, but on a team where they can be the second or third option, they are really good and can help their teams in numerous ways.
I hope for y’all Celtics fans that Boston does not choke like my Mavs did two years ago after having home court, being up 2 to 0, and then getting swept from there.
Boston has a great opportunity to once again be the city of champions and take that mantle away from the last place to do it which was Gainesville Florida (much to my chagrin). Or after the Pats choke, they can be a city of chokers as the Celtics have home court and the best record in basketball. We all know how it works in that losing in a championship game is somehow seen as worse than being the worst team in a sport.
God bless y’all.
America cares about Kobe/Ray Allen trashtalk from 2005 about as much as they care about the results from your 11th muffburn tests. Bring on Game 1.
I’d happily puff a rock or two with Tatum Oneill, milfy little pig that she is. Would like to put it in her ass, in her Manhattan penthouse.
Nothing on the Knicks this week??? Sometimes I don’t even know why I read……
Itchy - Didn’t I spot you face down in your chowder at the Cask? Humble? I’m surprised you can spell it let alone know what it means. Humble people don’t admire themselves like you do - only chicks are supposed to have never met a mirror they could ignore. Here’s another word for you …dillusional
Here’s a pre-emptive shot over your bough - if you decide to write next week about Nick Kazur (and you will due to your lack of knowledge about sports and your love of all things female like make up, shoes and gossip) you had better remember your BFF Fat Eric Mangina; also don’t forget to include what a little tattle tail you no doubt were on the little bus that used to take you to school. By the way how was the premiere of Sex in the City? Hope you and Matt Walsh enjoyed it - heard you and he had killer seats and a great make out session.
Whats the matter Itchy, the Joba story not notable enough for ya?? Bwahahahahahaha. I told that inbred mule, Hank, that the kid belonged in the bullpen this season. But what do I know, I only engineered a dynasty??? Meanwhile, my Dodger lineup is laden with young studs: Martin, Ethier, Kemp, DeWitt. It’s wonderful having the luxury of jumping from the bow of a sinking ship, to the stern of a gleaming yacht. The current Yankee doldrums while rival that of the 80s generation. I’m just glad I left before that sackless worm Hank really tanks the whole operation.
“The Lakers are absolutely not a one man team….”
You’re right, they’re one great player…and a bunch of spare parts. I’m so sick of hearing about Gasol. he would be (and was) nothing without Kobe, and two years ago they wanted to run Lamar Odom out of town.
Boston is too versatile and deep, and in a few weeks that will be proven when KG, PP and Ray are wearing rings while Kobe’s false goodwill act crashes & burns and he pouts and threatens to be traded again.
Bunch of fucking Fakers just begging to be exposed.
Gasol is a dominant big-man and Oden is a Scottie-Pippen-type player….Tell me the Lakers are a one man show aftre this series….Either way, no matter what they are, they will be champs!
Gasol is solid but by no means dominant. Dominant is a guy who can carry a team to playoff victories basically by himself, which Gasol has never done.
He and Odom are what they are - decent compliments to the star who will wilt under the pressure of playing a better team with no home court advantage.
Itchy Linneweber has not actually seen a Laker’s game this year. He has been very busy being corn holed by Hank and Arlen. Every time I read this post I picture the author … a chimp pounding on a keyboard with one hand and jerking off with the other.
I don’t know how to quit you
I put ten years on Itchy’s butt but I didn’t give him the rash.
Where did everyone go? Why doesn’t anyone care about me anymore? Why do the call you Itchy? Why does my scrotum feel so strange and what is this growth on it?
I don’t just look stupid - I’m actually in the Guiness Book of World Record for the largest subhuman waste of space and oxygen and I have two assholes - one like everyone else and the other just below my nose
Celts in six - The Rapest and Zen Dork and the rest of the Fakers will go down like Colin on Arlen and Hank
Anyone got a light?
Stanley? I said family. Whatever I don’t need you crotch rot anyway
You can all stop calling me Itchy now, it has happened, my dick and sac have fallen off. My voice is now much higher and I’m bleeding profusely but at least the rash and itch are gone. Some pay thousands for operations of this sort. I can finally begin my new life as a woman - my dream is fulfilled! Lets go shoe shopping as soon as I mop up this blood - any one know a good plastic surgeon - I want a couple of tits - d cups cuz I crave attention.
Without the Boston Bullshit - that’s a good one - it’s just full of your personal delusional horse shit - a chimp pounding on a keyboard - thats good it should be your logo
Game 1 Celts 98, Fakers 88
Care to change your prediction yet? Cause I sure didn’t see anything impressive or unbeatable about the Purple Pansies tonight.
One down, three to go until banner #17!
Truth 1 - Fakers 0
Amen, Hammer.
I think it is imperative that everyone realizes that Hammer listens to Sinead O’Connor and that is not a joke…That tidbit came from the man himself…Pretty pathetic.
Colin - I mean Itchy - you hit the nail on the head - I’m a man - you are ,,,well I guess we won’t know fo sure until after the surgery - good luck with all that
Truth 2 - Fakers 0
Ray Allen said “you need 2.5 star players to with a championship”, I like to think both Ray and Kobe have that many players to win, may the best man win!