Manu you’re off the hook.  Big Brown wins the award for biggest flopper in 2008! 

SCOTT JACOBS 

Pop open the champagne, and pour yourself a bubbly glass Affirmed.  After Big Brown’s pathetic excuse for a race, you my friend (I mean dead) horse remain the last horse to win a triple crown.

Phew.

For a minute there, I began to think that (gasp) people might be starting to re-care about horse racing again. And then I put my diet Pepsi down and began to crack up. Ha.  Thats a funny one Scott.  I crack myself up sometimes.

Big Brown, more like Massive Multi Million dollar waste of hype, was horrible at the Belmont.  The one and a half mile track was indeed the perfect match for little Brown, as the horse with the essed up hoof, finished in last.

And that wraps up JSB’s horse racing coverage for the year.  I’m glad that’s over with.

I mean, could you imagine if Big Brown won the Triple Crown?  Ugh, we’d have to hear crap about horse racing for like a week straight. And everyone would be all, “horses’s this, and horse’s that.”

But Brown lost, and unfortunatley, all you fans waiting for a UPS commecial with the horse himself, you probably won’t be seeing, a “Brown can’t deliver you a triple crown or a fifth place finish at the Belmont Stakes” commerical.

But you know what Big Brown can do for you?  Erase the hype, destroy the mojo horse racing had.  Trash talking in horse racing?  I couldn’t handle it anymore.  That’s like saying my Irish terrier is smarter then yours. Who cares?

We were on the verge of celebrating the sport synnonymous with death and abuse.  And I’m not talking about pigeon racing.  Because as far as I know that doesn’t yet exist.  Or does it? (Tilts head to the side).

But for now, the dust has settled, the horses have gone to sleep, and tommorrow we can wake up to the cries of Big Bust.  I don’t care about horse racing, but I was afraid people might get duped into thinking it was relevent again if Brown won on Saturday.

But he didn’t.

I never liked horse racing for another reason.

The owner wins millions.  The jockey picks up a nice check.  And the horse?  Well, he gets a carrot!  Or two.  Easy there Big Brown, you only get one today!

And so ends a very nerve racking period of the year for me.  The Triple Frown.  A time when horse racing threatens to bring us back to the 1920’s and like the Prohibition era, fails.

And with Hillary officially announcing she’s done, and throwing all her support behind the first ever black Democrat or Republican ticket winner, Barack Obama, I’ve got more important things to talk about then some stupid horse.  Yup, I would never waste your time spending time writing about ugh, horse racing.

I mean, who does that?

Who writes about this crap?

(Editor whispers in ear)

O crap.

But it was too late.

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