Juiced Sports Presents “Loser-ville”
It’s the really ugly, cold place on the suburbs of Titletown. We’re not visiting it. We’re bashing it! And we want your help!
SCOTT JACOBS
In honor of ESPN’s horrifically dumb idea to turn 20 places into Titletown, the good folks at Juiced Spots figured, what if you flip the script. What if there was a competition for the Anti-Title town? The area so bad, that their fans are almost ashamed to root for their so called ‘teams.’
So what’s the criteria?
Well, it’s rather simple really.
The town has to either:
a) been absolutley awful recently, whether it be in pro sports or college. And if you can find a high school bad enough in sports that they deserve to be on this list, well, we commend you, and we’d be more then happy to consider them.
b) be historically bad, whether it be an area that hasn’t won a championship in years (like 20) or if its a college, a school that hasn’t won a meaningful championship in only who knows when.
c) have atrocious fan support, so bad that the teams are either just about out the door or that their fans stopped showing up.
d) have been run so poorly that there seems like there is absolutley no hope whatsoever, and that makes you sad.
So get your city or school out there because, we’re looking for the worst of the worst. Cities so bad that if ESPN featured them on Titletown as a joke, you’d laugh so hard you’d pee yourself.
In the meantime, as we garner your suggestions and eventually compile our list, we’d like you to suggest some players or coaches or even owners, that would represent “Loser-ville” and make them proud.
So that’s it. That’s our story and we’re sticking to it. Your only job is to give us your city or town, or just a place that you think fits the title of “Loser-ville.” Remember, in this competition, no one wins. But everybody loses!
Popularity: 16% [?]
Philadelphia hasn’t won a title in 25 years.
Cleveland last won a championship since 1964.
Buffalo…never.
Advantage, Buffalo.
Philadelphia, Cleveland, and Buffalo seem to be getting a lot of play so far… Keep it coming guys…
I’d like to nominate Washington as Loserville, USA. In terms of the four major sports teams, the Washington-based teams have only captured 7 titles in 217 seasons, an average of a win every 31 seasons. To use another nominated area, Philadelphia has 16 titles in 340 seasons.
To defend Philadelphia again, we can look recently. Since 2000, Washington teams are 3-11 in terms of advancing to the next round of the playoffs. Philadelphia teams are 20-20 in that same span.
Atlanta: bad teams, worse fans.
Sure the Braves won like 14 straight division titles, but they went to the Series five times and won only once, and they had a tough time selling out playoff games.
The Falcons had one or two nice runs in the past 30 years, but got their asses kicked in their one Super Bowl appearance and lost in the NFC title game when Mike ‘Dog Killer’ Vick was at the helm a few years ago.
Hawks - sucked since 1987 until making the playoffs this season despite a losing record.
Thrashers - made the playoffs once in 9 years, in the NHL, where every team makes the playoffs at least every couple of years.
But really the terribleness (?) of the teams is trumped by the awfulness of the fans. From the Tomahawk Chop-stealing fairweathers at the Ted to the non existent ones (until this year) at the G-Dome, these disinterested degenerates deserve the title of Loserville.
At least the fans in Buffalo, Philly and Cleveland are passionate about their losing teams. Atlantans won’t even support winning ones.
Miami, hands down. Yeah, they’ve got two World Series, but the Marlins have no fans to speak of, play in a huge dump, and have no prospects of future success. The Dolphins are a joke, the Panthers are irrelevant, and the Miami Heat are D-Wade and nobody. And in a few years, when D-Wade decides to skip town, they’ll just be nobody. And Pat Riley.
[…] We searched near and far, high and low, North and South, East and West, East, Central, Mountain, and Pacific time zones, and we have assembled the much anticipated list that you guys have all been waiting for: the candidates for Loser-ville, U.S.A. In case you don’t remember the criteria, you can see it again here. […]