Ocho Cinco has officially lost his mind. You hear that Chad Johnson?

SCOTT JACOBS

So many things in sports are so ridiculous you just have to laugh when you realize that they sometimes upset you. But once in a while their is that gem, that golden nugget that is just so legendary, so off the wall that you don’t know any other adjectives to describe it.

Chad Johnson is a character. He does goofy touchdown dances, makes bold predictions, picks on corner-backs on his locker, and even makes crazy predictions that he could beat Michael Phelps in a swim meet. But Mr. Johnson, or should I say, Ocho Cinco, has officially found a new way to top himself.

He’s changed his name.

No, he’s not C.J. now. Or Chad “Big Mouth” Johnson. No, he hasn’t accepted endorsement money to change his name to something like Vitamin Water Johnson, and he isn’t re-naming himself Barack Johnson or McCain Johnson. Nope, Chad managed to come up with something even more mind blowing.

Today he legally changed his name to Chad Ocho Cinco.

If you have to re-read that sentence again, it’s understandable. The man, the legend, the sometimes unhappy Bengal, has become the nick-name he created. Ocho Cinco. Not Chad Ocho Cinco Johnson. Chad Ocho Cinco.

Eight. Five. It’s not even the right way to say 85 in spanish. Ochenta y cinco is supposedly the right way. At least that’s what Yahoo Answers says.

Again, Ocho Cinco is not Mighty Warrior Dark Knight or even the correct way to say 85. Chad Johnson changed his name today to 8 and 5. You know what eight plus five equals in this case: whackjob.

You know the person who gets a cool nickname and people start calling him/her that and it sticks? Ya, everybody does. But, when have you ever met someone who became their nickname?

I can’t say I’m baffled by this story. I always knew there was a screw loose in Johnson, who apparently is trying to create a brand, or something. Air Jordan? Ha. Johnson’s Ocho Cinco will uh… blow that away never come close.

But the best part of this story, besides making fun of Johnson (I mean Ocho’s) whacky decision is that we now have to call him that. Like for serious.

When you read news stories, it won’t be Chad Johnson, it will be Chad Ocho Cinco. Ocho Cinco caught six passes for 97 yards and one score. Ocho Cinco said after the game, “I was on large amounts of drugs when I changed my name, but it seems to be working. I am an attention whore and it did the trick.”

People go to jail and change their names. People grow up and change their names. People face terrible circumstances and change their name. But you don’t see Chad Kroeger changing his name to Chad Nickelback. Or Josh Willingham changing his name to Hammer Willingham. Anquan Boldin isn’t changing his name to Anquan Q.

Yeesh, it used to be a big deal when players changed numbers, but now their trading in their names for their nicknames?

It’s something that shouldn’t surprise anyone, given the whacky nature of sports, but somehow even this is a little crazy.

Today Ocho Cinco changed his name.

Today, sports fans got the juicy ludicrous story they’ve been searching for. Thanks Ocho. Or is it Mr. Cinco? PacMan, I mean Adam, get over here. We need your help.

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