JSB Presents: Our 2009 NFL Mock Draft
It’s Uncensored, and out of control, with more insight than any other site named Juiced Sports Blog, of which we are quite sure there are none
MIKE KAYE
You’ve been listening to draft talk for weeks, and the day is almost here. On Saturday the NFL will introduce it’s newest batch of fresh faces, soon to be stars, and a crop of sure-fire busts, and most likely America, you’ll be watching. Because what better way to spend a Saturday, then to lock yourself in a house all day, as the commish reads from a nifty little card emblazoned with a team logo. More than likely you won’t know who half of these guys are, and had it been 1979, pre-ESPN you probably wouldn’t know 90% of the players pegged to go in the first round.
So who’s going where, and what team’s going to do what? The envelope please…
| TEAM | PLAYER | SKINNY |
| 01. LIONS | Matthew Stafford QB, Georgia |
Detroit has made some great decisions this offseason, adding CB Anthony Henry and LB Julian Peterson. They will somewhat continue the trend on the consensus #1 QB in the draft. I think they will do this but I think they should hold out, trade for Jason Campbell and draft the sure thing, Aaron Curry. |
| 02. RAMS | Jason Smith OT, Baylor |
Smith is durable and drafting a LT normally means production as they can play both guard positions and right tackle if they aren’t successful on the blind side. Orlando Pace was released for a reason…and it wasn’t to draft Mark Sanchez. |
| 03. CHIEFS | Aaron Curry OLB, Wake Forest |
Draftaholics have heard before: this guy is the real deal. Best talent to come out of Wake Forest since the New Orleans Hornets’ Chris Paul. He’ll be tutored by ex–AFC East moguls Zach Thomas and Mike Vrabel. |
| 04. SEAHAWKS | Eugene Monroe OT, Virginia |
Again, consistency and reliability is the key. Possibly the worst position to be in if you’re a team drafting, so much so that NFL Network is giving us an inside into their War Room. Misery makes good TV. Hey maybe they’ll trade for another overrated veteran much like they did with Deion Branch and over pay like they did with TJ. |
| 05. BROWNS | B.J. Raji DT, Boston College |
Big guy from BC. I just coined a nickname but anyway, if he isn’t taken here, he’ll go to Jacksonville at 8. I’ve read as recently as today that the Browns have lost faith in Michael Crabtree, which I find ridiculous. |
| 06. BENGALS | Jeremy Maclin WR, Missouri |
Wow, Chad Ocho Cinco and a bunch of 2nd round receivers from last year…great WR group. I know they added Coles, but they need a slot guy, so enter Maclin who is faster than a speeding bullet or at least Jerome Simpson, who was supposed to take on that role last year after he got drafted in the 2nd round. |
| 07. RAIDERS | Andre Smith OT, Alabama |
When all else fails…listen to Mike Lombardi on NFL Network when it comes to Oakland. Everyone thinks WR but with Maclin gone, Al Davis is stuck with the most glorious man-boobs of them all. Honk, Honk! |
| 08. JAGUARS | Brian Orakpo DE, Texas |
Watched his highlights the other day and I jumped twice. The guy is quick, strong and maybe the most athletic DE in the draft. I just pray he doesn’t fall and get taken by the Redskins. He will help last years’ first rounder and world class hold-out man, Derrick Harvey. |
| 09. PACKERS | Michael Oher OT, Mississippi |
I want to take Malcolm Jenkins here because Al Harris is getting old but I think they could trade their 2nd rounder for Shelton Brown or easily take DJ Moore or Alfonso Smith with that same pick. Oher helps solidify the line and establish a sense of security for Aaron Rodgers. |
| 10. 49ERS | Michael Crabtree WR, Texas Tech |
A lot of people wouldn’t think he would fall this far but I think Maclin has the edge in that he has worked out. Crabtree is by far the best WR but he has not participated in private meetings with teams because of a foot injury. Another scenario for this pick is to trade it to the highest bidder (Redskins) so that the new team can draft Sanchez. |
| 11. BILLS | Everette Brown DE, FSU |
Aaron Schobel is begging the Bill’s front office for some D-line help and he gets his wish. Brown is very athletic and I think he is barely under Orakpo. When you play New England, you got to get to Brady. |
| 12. BRONCOS | Tyson Jackson DE, LSU |
Josh McDaniel’s finally makes himself look good by making a move that is relevant for the teams need. Yes, I’m bitter about him stealing my idol, Brian Dawkins, from the Eagles, but this guy is completely crayonless in his little box. I hope he realizes that he is making way too many dumb decisions as security escorts him out after the last game of the season when the Broncos go 2-14. |
| 13. REDSKINS | Mark Sanchez QB, USC |
Dan Snyder loves being foolish. It happens and I’m happy about it. The funny thing is everyone else in the NFC East wants this pick to happen as Jason Campbell will reportedly ask for a trade, and they will have to start Todd Collins for a year. Can you say 3-13? It is a waste of a pick and a slap in the face of Jim Zorn who was brought in because he is great with QBs. He has one year with Campbell, good luck Mark. |
| 14. SAINTS | Malcolm Jenkins CB, Ohio State |
It’s not unusual to have fun with anyone, it not unusual to go out with anyone, and it’s not unusual to see the Saints’ secondary screw up. The sad thing is this team is so talented on offense and Sean Payton is way too good of a coach to have to deal with such a lousy defense. Jenkins can be a number 1 by mid-season. |
| 15. TEXANS | Brian Cushing OLB, USC |
To be honest, Cushing kind of annoys me. I see his Path to the Draft every single commercial on NFL Network. Who cares? No one but Houston as they solidify a young but productive defense. |
| 16. CHARGERS | Rey Maualuga ILB, USC |
Holy Hawaiians Batman. Talented and Scary, the guy carries on the tradition set by Willie McGinest for LBs from USC. There are questions about his lack of three down relevance. |
| 17. JETS | Brandon Pettigrew TE, OKST |
Surprise pick because I believe they trade for Brady Quinn. They need a playmaker not a likely potential bust in QB Josh Freeman from Kansas State. I hope Jets fans don’t hold their breath the way they did for Vernon Gholston all last season. |
| 18. BRONCOS | Clay Matthews OLB, USC |
USC goes three for four with the crazy albino of the group. McDaniels lets Dawkins draft this pick as the coach is currently in a straight jacket, claiming over and over again, “Kyle Orton is our quarterback! Kyle Orton is our quarterback!” |
| 19. BUCCANEERS | Peria Jerry DT, Mississippi |
Since the team is rebuilding, they need a new defensive wrecking-ball. Jerry is a beast who sounds like he comes from the Middle East. I think Byron Leftwich allows the team to pass on Freeman. |
| 20. LIONS | Aaron Maybin DE, Penn State |
First pick is offense, second will be defense and it will be a pattern for the rest of the draft as Detroit has no Luke Skywalker at any position, just a lot of R2-D2’s and a Han Solo in Calvin Johnson. |
| 21. EAGLES | Knowshon Moreno RB, Georgia |
Dream scenario for most Eagles fans. Knowshon is productive (30 college rushing TDs) and can catch the ball which is something that makes Andy Reid smitten. I want this guy so bad I have to watch highlights of him everyday to feed my need. I wouldn’t be surprised if they traded down again for the third year in a row but something tells me if this guy is on the board, it happens. |
| 22. VIKINGS | Darrius Heyward-Bey WR, Maryland |
Bernard Berrian is a nice player, so is Sidney Rice, but Heyward-Bey can make them a trio. Childress is a disciple of Andy Reid, and with a great player like Adrian Peterson opening up the passing game, he’ll take advantage. |
| 23. PATRIOTS | Donald Brown RB, Connecticut |
I wouldn’t say the RB situation here is worth concern but I’ve read that they really like Brown as Belichik loves guys from UConn. It must be that New England weather…drafty. |
| 24. FALCONS | Robert Ayers DE, Tennessee |
Took care of the TE need with Tony Gonzalez, so helping the ATL’s defense is really the only priority. Ayers is from a great program and he is a pass rushing machine. |
| 25. DOLPHINS | Percy Harvin WR, Florida |
Smoke, smoke here…Smoke, smoke there…whether you’re an idiot or just plain wrong…that’s how you sit longer draft day… in the merry ol land of the NFL. Harvin is versatile so the Wildcat is his playground plus Ernest Wilford didn’t really work for the Fins. Parcells takes advantage of Harvin’s stupidity and uncanny ability to screw himself over. |
| 26. RAVENS | Darius Butler CB, Connecticut |
Maybe a stretch but Butler solves the need at corner. Chris McAllister is gone, so enter a Big East Resident who is greatly underrated. Would not be surprised if this turns out to Anquan Boldin or a rookie wide-out. |
| 27. COLTS | Hakeem Nicks WR, UNC |
Bye, Bye Marvin Harrison and hello Hakeem Nicks. Anthony Gonzalez is a nice player but not a number two. Nicks will take advantage of Reggie Wayne stretching the field. |
| 28. BILLS | Eben Britton OT, Arizona |
After getting robbed like they were dealing with pirates, the Bills make a move to help their O-Line. Britton left school early and probably would have gone higher next year so the Bills get a treat in advance. |
| 29. GIANTS | Kenny Britt WR, Rutgers |
Just under 6′3,” Britt solves the Giants problem of the large WR. Britt is a playmaker who played close to the area so he won’t need to get use to a new environment and can just focus on football. Not as good as Plax but a lot less likey to shoot himself in the leg. |
| 30. TITANS | Larry English DE, NIU |
With Nicks and Britt gone, the Titans go defense. Don’t know much about English but I hear he is very fun to watch, and that will balance the show with Chris Johnson on offense. This pick makes sense as most Titans picks are hard to understand till midway through the season. |
| 31. CARDINALS | Chris Wells RB, Ohio State |
Steal of the first round. I question his ability to avoid injury but the guy is a big, fast back who likes the spotlight. He is also extremely young so his career has tons of room for improvement. Can start over Hightower and allow the Cards to release Edge. |
| 32. STEELERS | Alex Mack C, California |
I don’t ever remember seeing a Super Bowl team with such an awful offensive line. Tomlin finds a new anchor to the line by drafting Mack. I believe Mack will instantly become the best player on their line by training camp. |
Popularity: 3% [?]
Leave a Reply