Playing Devil’s Advocate with all 16 AFC teams on the eve of the 2010 season

SCOTT JACOBS

It’s easy to talk about NFL teams the week before the season starts and quip that if they do “this, this, and this” they can be successful. If the Rams win this year’s Super Bowl in Dallas,TX then maybe pigs will fly too. But in a time where positivity fills the NFL landscape, and every team is unblemished, it seems right to dash those dreams a little bit, and play the “what if things go wrong” guy.

Everybody and their mother seems to like the Jets, Ravens, and Chargers, who all look solid on paper, but are not infallible. Each year we go into the new season with two things: who did what to improve and who did what last season. But really, when you break it all down, we know a whole lot of nothing. And for all those fans ready to jump on the Cowboys bandwagon and ride them all the way back to their sterling home stadium and Super Bowl 45, take it easy, it’s never been done before.

Let’s do this:

AFC East:

JETS: They’re the chic pick to make that next move up and contend for a Super Bowl, but c’mon, they have so many new pieces and so many colorful characters on that team, that maybe it doesn’t work. Remember this: they only won 9 games last year, aided by the Colts laying down and dying for them the second to last week of the season, and QB Mark Sanchez is entering his sophomore year, a year where historically, most QB’s take a step backwards.

DOLPHINS: They were just 7-9 last year and added a potential clubhouse cancer in uber-talented but volatile Brandon Marshall. Young cornerbacks leave them vulnerable for getting shredded up in the secondary and where’s the pash rush going to come from with Joey Porter and Jason Taylor gone? Chad Henne showed flashes his first season, but he’s going to have to really step up for this team to get to where it wants to be.

PATRIOTS: Uh o, Randy’s unhappy. Moss that is. Tom Brady finds himself on a team that seems to get younger each year lately. The defense is young, the receivers are banged up. Moss is in a contract year. Wes Welker is coming off of a horrifying injury against the Texans. Baltimore exposed the crap out of them in the playoffs a year ago. Maybe New England’s window is not open for business any more. After all, it’s been a few years since they went 16-0.

BILLS: Another year, another lackluster starter at quarterback. No one wanted to coach them so they were basically forced to hand the job to coaching retread Chan Gailey. One of the least talented teams in the league, the Bills have also failed to taste the playoffs since 1999, the year that a certain Music City Miracle happened (maybe you’ve heard of it). The Florida Panthers often considered the worst franchise in pro sports have a shorter playoff drought than that!

AFC South

COLTS: Look, they win like 12 games every year, but one of these years that’s going to stop. They had a lot of close games last year that could have gone either way, and there’s no way they pull off last year’s type of success with an invisible running game again. It just ain’t happening. Also, one of these years Peyton Manning is going to miss some time. Even Dan Marino had a few bad injuries while manning the Dolphins. Without Manning, well forget it.

TEXANS: They’re beautiful at what they do, and that’s teasing. Every year they get right down to the finish line and seemingly finish a game or two out of the playoffs. So what changed overnight that will help them take that next step to the second season? Matt Schaub puts up great numbers but always gets hurt, their running game is always shaky, and historically these Texans don’t handle high expectations well. Watch them stumble to another forgettable start before shockingly turning the corner.

TITANS: We know what happens to running backs who are fed the ball hundreds of times a season: they break down. After amassing over 2000 yards in a stellar 2009 campaign, Chris Johnson can’t shoulder the load by himself. So who’s it going to be, Vince Young to finally make that leap from “he could be really good” to “actually good?” They seem interested in ‘ol Albert Haynesworth, which would be great if this was 2008. Maybe this year they’ll win one of their first six games, unlike last season.

JAGUARS: Terrible combination for a team: poor fan-base, constant relocation rumors, over-paid starting quarterback who peaked two years ago, and a team that excites no one. Sans Maurice Jones Drew and David Garrard can you name another marquee Jaguar? Of course this year Jack Del Rio is on the hot seat. Wait a minute, hasn’t he been on the hot-seAt for like 3 years now? Maybe owner Wayne Weaver knows he can’t get anyone better, so he’s just trying to create a win-now atmosphere for the ten fans that show up to each game.

AFC North

RAVENS: O you love them now, sports world, but maybe you don’t love them as much when oft-injured WR Anquan Boldin gets injured– again!– and there is no Larry Fitzgerald to pick up the pieces. And don’t you find it odd that the Seahawks just kicked T.J. Houshmanzadeh to the curb out of nowhere after ringing up over 70 receptions last year and being one of the few bright spots on a team that was flat out awful?

STEELERS: Dennis Dixon was great at Oregon, but is he good enough to keep you guys afloat? Maybe. The Big Ben situation hangs over this team like a haze of smoke. They know he’s their only hope to have a good season and most of the organization doesn’t even know whether they can trust him. Santonio Holmes is gone, and for what, an icee and a bag of chips? A slow start this year is one they probably don’t recover from.

BROWNS: Finally, the Browns decided to stray away from mediocre, erratic quarterbacks and bring in some new guys who are… wait a minute, didn’t they bring in Jake Delhomme and Seneca Wallace? O right. So you get rid of Brady Quinn and Derek Anderson and you somehow manage not to get better. That’s so sad it’s impressive. Mike Holmgren has always been a great coach, but that’s Eric Mangini’s job. Holmgren gets to bring in the mediocre talent. So far he’s doing a good job.

BENGALS: They’re a made for TV type of team and yet it was last year that they were on HBO’s Hard Knocks. Look, what are the odds that they actually go 6-0 in the North again? (0%) And did you see how lifeless they looked in their back to back beatdowns to the Jets? So they bring in T.O. to play nice with Ochocinco, after the bizarre Antonio Bryant signing gone awry and that turns a team that faded during the second half into a contender? This division is tough and Cincinnati has never been one of those teams that oozes consistency. Except when they used to lose. A lot.

AFC West

CHARGERS: This is why I love sports. Before the NFL Draft most football fans probably had no idea who Ryan Mathews was. But then the Chargers take the former Fresno State RB in the top half of the first round and all of a sudden he’s the second coming of LT. Look, on paper the kid looks like he’s ready to jump in and be a stud, but he’s still a rookie, and the Chargers have a big key cog of theirs missing right now (paging Vincent Jackson). And all these years everybody said Tomlinson was one of those glue guys that kept the team together. Well the glue left for New York. Err, New Jersey.

RAIDERS: Their defense is pretty good, but they haven’t been a relevant team in years. Every year they seem to finish strong and build hope for the next season, until they take the field and we realize they’re the same old Raiders. This year Jamarcus Russell is out (the biggest draft bust ever) and Redskin castoff Jason Campbell is in. Everyone’s talking about Campbell bringing stability to the dysfunctional franchise, but I don’t think he’s the wild card. More stake goes in the mitts of their young, inexperienced wide receiver corps: Darrius Heyward-Bey and Louis Murphy. New center Samson Satele comes from the Dolphins to try to make sure Campbell gets the ball every time. Sounds simple, but the Raiders have a way of making things hard.

BRONCOS: Josh McDaniels had another quiet offseason.  O wait, McDaniels doesn’t know how to do that.  He jettisoned disgruntled star wideout Brandon Marshall to Miami and spent a first round pick on Timmy Tebow.  Then he traded for the intolerably mediocre Brady Quinn and management inked Kyle Orton to a big one year deal.  So the Broncos have three quarterbacks going into the season.  Which, as the saying goes, really means they have none.  And I’d be willing to bet all of King Midas’ silver that they don’t have another 6-0 start in them this season.  I’m not sure they even have six wins in them at all.

CHIEFS: Year Two of Project Patriots with Scott Pioli and his handpicked coach, Todd Haley. Matt Cassell’s back for his second year as well, and it can’t be any more mediocre then his first (16 TDs, 16 picks).  The Chiefs have been in hardcore rebuilding mode lately, which is a shame, because the west has been up for sale for three years running.  Still, where people see improvement I see a team that still has a long way to go.  And when Chris Chambers is your go to guy, 8 years after he hit his prime, well you’re not going to scare a lot of people.

Photo: AP

Popularity: 3% [?]