Yesterday he retired, today we take a look back at the strange and demented career of Manny Ramirez — through the lens of Juiced Sports

SCOTT JACOBS

The good folks at Juiced Sports (always fun to talk in third person) have been bringing you opinions, content, and totally horrendous predictions (I am no Nostradamus people) for nearly four years (more on that in a few months) and so we have the good fortune of a pretty stacked library of past posts and content.

With Manny Ramirez abruptly ending his unique and colorful career it seemed like the perfect time to sort through the Juiced Vault (take that SI Vault!) to find some our favorite past stories on Manny.  Juiced Sports entered the sports blogosphere right around when Manny was beginning to grow stale of Beantown, giving us a colorful array of opinionated posts and reports to look back on.  With the cheating slugger now vanished from the game after a second failed P.E.D. test, here is our look back at Manny — the sorry sack of lying crap that he was, and how we’ve looked at him from afar these past 4 years.

What we’ve said:

Just blame the blogger, how convenient!

“The media is so quick to come to conclusions.  But when you’ve got idiots like Rafael Palmeiro wagging his finger at Congress, claiming to never have taken steroids, and then he fails a test, who can you believe?  When we were fully convinced that Manny Ramirez was just a once in a generation hitter who could make contact on any pitch, and then he fails a drug test, well, why should we believe in him?” – SJ

Why Manny Wants to Return to Cleveland…

“However, [Manny's] desire to return to Cleveland may not be rooted so much in wanting to return to where he started his career as it is in making sure he doesn’t get inducted into the Hall of Fame as a Red Sock, says one of my sources.” – MB
Editor’s Note: I don’t think Manny has to worry about what cap he’ll be wearing in the H.O.F. cause he ain’t going to be in the Hall after a second failed drug test

Manny Ramirez: you’re a joke (and a jerk)

“You know why athletes get a bad rap?  Because of jerks like you.” -SJ

“But you’re still hunting for every last dime, and it’s understandable that you need some money so that your children’s, children’s, children’s, children’s children never need to work a day in their life.  Back in 2000 the Red Sox really scammed you, didn’t they, by rewarding you with one of the biggest free agent contracts in baseball history?  They signed you to an eight year deal worth $160 million.  You felt cheated, so you took plays off, sometimes didn’t feel like running out that good ol’ ground ball, and you were constantly a distraction.  But “Manny being Manny” became funny, like a catchphrase.  It was cool to be a lazy over-paidout of touch with the real world jerk.” – SJ

It’s Not Gonna Happen (Maybe Next Year)

“Once again Manny Ramirez came through with another long home run. Man, has he been the perfect pickup for a Dodgers team now one win away from their first playoff series win in 20 years! You can say all you want to about C.C. Sabathia, but we might look back when it’s all said and done, and crown Manny as the greatest mid-season pickup of this year. The guy has been brilliant, and the Dodgers have been great since they landed him.” – SJ

I’m back from vacation and ready to rant

“Look, I loved ManRam as much as the next Sox fans for the 7 1/2 years he was with the team, but enough was finally enough. His cute antics and sweet swing had finally been outweiged by his manic personality and ability to give up on his team at a moment’s notice, and when he failed to hustle on a ground ball during a no hitter, well that was the last straw.” – JR

A Manny trade to the Marlins might not be what Florida needs

“Forget the fact that Manny is a head-case and he doesn’t run out ground balls or play even a solid outfield. Forget that you never know from one day to the next what Manny will bring to your team, that is, if he tries. Put aside the fact that Ramirez is getting older and finishing up an eight year deal he signed back in 2000 that made him one of the highest paid players in pro sports. Forget that all.  The Marlins should NOT trade for Ramirez.” – SJ

Manny Ramirez Needs To Be Traded

“If the Red Sox are a better team without Manny Ramirez, they should trade me; I will not object,” said the diva that refers to himself in the third person… Despite his enormous production, Ramirez, a man that assaulted a senior citizen earlier this month, has been problematic and troublesome for the Sox hierarchy and it may be time for team officials to stop providing the 12-time All-Star with the inane mulligan known as “Manny being Manny.” -CL

Hey Iraq: Manny is willing to play for your team

“I don’t have any preferences,” Ramizez said in regards to where he would like to be dealt if the Red Sox decide to make a move. “I could choose a team that offers me the best conditions or one in the chase for the postseason. I don’t care where I play, I can even play in Iraq if need be. My job is to play baseball.” … If the U.S. Marines went up to Manny and said they need an outfielder for their baseball team in between bombings to go to Iraq, Manny would just be like, “okay, My job is to play baseball?” Yeah, freaking right!” – SJ

Manny Ramirez Is A Thug

“Ramirez, a village idiot who is skilled at swinging a wooden bat and striking a leather ball, is often granted a pass with the nauseating phrase “It’s just Manny being Manny.” The native of Santo Domingo should not be provided such ridiculous leeway in this instance. Manny was just a thug and, if the Red Sox don’t reprimand their star, they are just as yellow as he is.” – CL

That folks, is Juiced Sports being Juiced Sports.

Photo: AP

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