First question:

Hey Tony: Just take a look at our assistant coaches. There are no household names in the group… -Mike, OH

Hey Stoopid!: That’s cuz they’re assistant coaches. Assistant coaches aren’t big names because they are assistants. Most head coaches aren’t even “household names.” Arizona’s coach? Pittsburgh’s coach? San Fran’s coach? No one outside of football fans knows who these are. As for assistant coaches, most football fans don’t even know the assistants for other teams. If we want household names, I’m sure Bellichick would love to move to defensive coordinator…

A few more not guaranteed to be accurate:

Hey Tony: Maybe you ain’t the best person to ask. Maybe I should ask Ron Artest in his weekly SLAM Magazine column. But, I was just wondering if there is any good way to steal stuff from a Las Vegas hotel without getting arrested? -OJ, LA

Hey Tony: Any other ways to steal signals without filming them? Think OJ would be willing to steal my opponent’s playbook? Jesus, I need to cheat somehow. -Bill, New England

Hey Stoopid Archives
Sept. 9 40 Saves Isn’t Enough…
Sept. 2 The Cavs Are Done?
Aug. 26 Fire Mike Brown?
Aug. 18 Inaugural Edition

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Maybe they wanted to make Frye look good before they traded him? If so, you would have to question why the Browns benched him early in the game and only gave him a total of 10 passing attempts. Furthermore, the Browns had no means of deception when trading with Seattle. The two teams have already swapped backups in the past, going back to Seattle giving Cleveland Trent Dilfer. They are common trade partners, so you would expect that if a deal was done, it must have been done before Sunday.

Perhaps that explains why the Browns benched Frye so early. Since he was already going to be traded, they didn’t care about getting him extra snaps. The trade might have still been in the works when he was announced as the starter. The Browns ended up getting a sixth-rounder out of the trade.

This move will likely mean that Brady Quinn is coming in earlier than expected. I called for week five based on the fact that Ross Tucker’s return will have the line in better shape by then, but with Anderson and Dorsey now as the other quarterbacks, Quinn will likely see at least a few drives before then.

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The Tampa Bay Buccaneers ended up losing 20-6, and Cadillac Williams was held to 38 yards on the first 10 carries. He ended the game with 60 yards on 12 carries. He was hurt in the second quarter and went walking to the locker room holding his arm.

In large part, this was all due to good defense by the Seahawks, but one cannot look past his herniated disks. They also contributed to the pressure Jeff Garcia was feeling all game.

Garcia was sacked four times. Will Carroll has said that Cadillac Williams’ pass blocking really suffers because of the herniated disks. (Carroll’s Comments on Cadillac Williams’ Herniated Disks) Without good pass blocking and with a struggling running back, Tampa Bay is in trouble.

More on…

Cadillac Williams Herniated Disks

Cadillac Williams’ Hidden Injury: Original Report
Cadillac’s Herniated Disks on Buc News.com

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Nebraska Holds On: Nebraska 20, Wake Forest-17
Wake Forest made the top 25 last year largely by winning the turnover battle. In today’s loss to Nebraska, turnovers helped them battle Nebaska early then lose their chances late. They intercepted Nebraska twice and recovered a third quarter fumble that allowed them to score for the lead. Nebraska retook the lead, then mistakes by sophomore QB Brett Hodges ended Wake Forest’s chances of winning. Hodges, stepping in for starter Riley Skinner, went 17-of-23 for 130 yards. He blew it when he threw an intereception in the end zone with four minutes left. He had another chance to drive down the field with 1:30 left, but Wake Forest didn’t gain any yards there. Wake Forest had stayed in the game by running the ball. Led by Kenneth Moore (115 yards on 9 carries), they totaled 235 yards on 53 carries. Interesting note: Nebraska, being in the lead at halftime, has extended Coach Callahan’s record leading at halftime to 22-1. He is 0-12 when losing at halftime.

Kenneth Moore, RB, Wake Forest

Okahoma Asserts Their Dominance:Oklahoma-51, Miami-13
295 yards passing, 182 rushing, and they held Miami to 190 total yards. Maybe this isn’t the year Oklahoma dominates the regular season then fails in the bowl game? Or maybe it is, because they seem to be dominating the regular season right now. That would be right on par with what they did every other year.

Run, Run, Run, The Ball: West Virginia-48, Marshall-23
Steve Slaton got a cloth out before the game to shine the Heisman Trophy, but his quarterback, Pat White, said, “Not so fast, I want it, too.” Slaton finished with 146 yards on 24 carries. White ran for 125 yards on 18 carries and threw for 149 yards on 13-of-18 passing. Overall, West Virginia gained 362 yards rushing on 52 carries. But, they were playing Marshall. And that’s the part that should scare them. It’s been known that West Virginia has a bad defense, but Marshall shouldn’t have been leading at halftime. Marshall shouldn’t have thrown for 256 yards. Marshall gained a total of 145 yards vs. Miami in game one. And Miami is the defense that allowed 51 points to Oklahoma.

Not Exactly the Best Test…Georgia Tech-45, Samford-0, Halftime
Notre Dame (whom lost 33-3 to Georgia Tech) can take solace in the fact that Samford is also struggling. UPDATE: GT won. What an upset!

Michigan Sucks! Oregon-39, Michigan-7
It got to the point that they put their freshman QB Ryan Mallett in in the second half. (Mallet preceded to go 4-10 for 23 yards and a pick.) They said Henne was injured–and he was–but his injury, which occured halfway through the second quarter, wasn’t bad enough to force him out before halftime. Lloyd Carr might want to start looking around. I hear Duke’s coach is on the hot seat. Ted Roof gone 5-34 ever since taking over in 2004.

Terrorism Hits! America’s Team Goes Down! LSU a lot, VA Tech not so much
In a shocking turn of events, America’s Team of 2005 has taken down America’s Team of 2007. V-Tech has gained a total of 40 yards in this thrashing. LSU has 193 on the ground. Matt Flynn is 13-of-23 passing for 178 yards and did run for a score. The interesting thing is that no one seems to care about how LSU has been rebuilding New Orleans ever since Katrina. (Is it because we don’t care about black people?) Sorry, about the sarcasm, New Orleans residents. I know LSU hasn’t really been doing their job. Bush may think they’re doing a heckuva job, but we know New Orleans is still in shambles because of LSU’s incompetence. I hope V-Tech does a better job of rehabbing V-Tech than LSU did for New Orleans.

Da Bulls are on the map- USF 26 Auburn 23 OT
In a wild, thrilling contest that saw Auburn turn the ball five times, without USF capitalizing, and the Bulls missing field goal after field goal– badly, the Bulls still managed to pull of a huge win, or as ESPN2 put it, “a program maker”. A win at Auburn? USF is a sure thing to be ranked in the top 25 next week. And all of a sudden, with Rutgers, West Virigina, Louisville, and now USF, the once pathetic Big East, is now becoming quite a conference.

Say Cheese, UNLV, you had your chance- Wisconsin 20 UNLV 13
The game went back and forth, and UNLV led 13-12, but it wasn’t meant to be, as the number 5 ranked Badgers did just enough to win a tough game in Vegas.

The times they are a changing
Miami was destroyed. FSU struggled to defeat a terrible UAB team, Notre Dame and Michigan both fell to 0-2, and it became strikingly clear: the times they are a changing. UM was in the game at halftime, but Oklahoma put a good ol’ fashion whooping on the Canes, who need to settle on a QB before anything starts to develop. FSU trailed as much as 17-3 to UAB, but came back, eeking out a win over a Blazers team that has lost 8 straight. While it’s not much, at least its a win. Notre Dame is in a rebuilding year anyways, and Michigan… well, it’s going to be a long, forgettable year in Ann Arbor.

Heisman Watch: Tim Tebow Ups His TD Total To 9: Florida-59, Troy State-31
Heisman-in-waiting Tim Tebow lead Florida to a victory over the relentless Troy State pass rush by a wide margin. In Doing so, he threw for 237 yards and 3 touchdowns and ran for 83 more and 2 touchdowns. I realize Troy State’s pass rush might not be as relentless as I make it out to be, but next week against Tennessee, I won’t have to overhype Florida’s performance.

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Alex Gaskarth of All Time Low Interview All Time Low singer and frontman Alex Gaskarth discusses how his addiction to pop music comes off on CDs, for example, a certain song on the new one, So Wrong, It’s Right, that sounds like Jennifer Lopez.

NFC EAST:
4. NY Giants- Go ahead, be surprised by this pick. The G-Men lost Tiki Barber, their best offensive weapon by far to retirement, and now he’s bashing the living crap out of New York in his cozy new desk job. We still don’t know what to make of Enigmatic Eli, and Brandon Jacobs? Can his bruising style as a third down and short yardage back translate to being the every down guy? I don’t think it happens right away. Chalk this up as Tom Coughlin’s last year as a Giant as Eli struggles to make the next step.

3. Washington- Last year I thought they had the potential to be a Super Bowl team. Now, they’re aiming for .500. Why? Jason Campbell who has the potential to be a very good QB is young and needs to develop. That defense is good but not stifling, and a lot of people are curious if Joe Gibbs still has what it takes to coach an NFL team in this new era.

2. Dallas- Tony Romo had an off-season to forget following his shocking bobbled snap that cost Dallas a playoff win. Now that the the Tuna is out, and Wade Phillips is in, how will he respond under the tutelage of new QB coach Jason Garret. Will T.O. be a distraction? Will the team play consistently? I just don’t know at this point. I’m holding onto my reservations on this team.

1. Philadelphia- Life after Garcia should be a promising one. If of course Donovan McNabb can avoid the injury bug. The Eagles learned with Garcia that if they pick their game up a notch, it takes pressure off the QB. It was clear that McNabb had to shoulder way too much of the offensive load last year when he was healthy. His team went 5-5. Now that they know they can all pick up their games it will help everyone out, and the Eagles will be a double digit win team because of it. Barring McNabb’s health.

NFC NORTH:
4. Green Bay- Roger Clemens is struggling this year, because he just doesn’t know when to quit. Brett Favre is heading along that same road. The Green Bay Packers finished strong in 2006, but their quality finish was more of a mirage then a sign of things to come. I will say this many times throughout the year: the Pack won’t be ready to start really winning again until they break in a new QB. Favre can’t hold onto the job forever.

Favre’s jerseys are real cheap now:Favre Jersey for $49

3. Detroit- Jon Kitna says 10-12 wins. I say 8-9 would be an accomplishment. The Lions continue to draft wide receivers, this year bringing in Calvin Johnson. I just don’t buy that team. Kitna is not an elite QB. The Lions did however lose a lot of close games last year, so we will find out if they can learn to win the close ones, or if they’re just same ol’ Detroit.

2. Minnesota- Tavarus Jackson is getting a lot of crap right now. So here’s a bold pick: Not only do the Vikings shock a lot of people, Jackson will have a solid season. Look at the plethora of talent around him: Chester Taylor, Adrian Peterson, Steve Hutchinson, and then when you look at that defense, they were great last year. I think this team, even with Jackson can contend in the weak NFC, it should be advised however, that Tavarus has to prove me right.

1. Chicago- Rex Grossman was awful in the Super Bowl, but there is no Brian Griese debate. The Bears were one of the top 3 scoring teams last year. Huh? Yeah, and now Devin Hester is going to be catching some passes too. How will their defense fare, and can another inconsistent season still lead to the type of success they had last year? Yeah, they’re still head and shoulders above the rest of the division.

NFC SOUTH:
4. Atlanta- Joey Harrington is not the great white hope in Atlanta. In fact, I am still baffled the Falcons dealt Matt Schaub to Houston. How stupid do they feel right now, knowing they could have a guy like him, compared to the best that is Joey. Joey failed in Detroit. Showed glimpses in Miami before resorting to form, and will struggle on what is looking like a woeful Falcons team.

3. Carolina- Is John Fox on the hot seat? He will be after this year. And here’s another bold pick. Jake Delhomme will be benched half way through the year in favor of the forgotten David Carr, who will pull a Jeff Garcia in leading the Panthers back to prominence… next year.

2. Tampa Bay- Jon Gruden knows his job is on the line. Jeff Garcia knows he can be a starter. He’s getting paid like it, even if he is old. I like the Bucs for the simple reason that they’ve revamped their Defense and Garcia gives them some hope on offense. Last year was a terrible year for Tampa, but that won’t happen again.

1. New Orleans- No one has ever won this division in back to back years. Was last night a sign of things to come? Or was it just a bump in the road versus a better, more complete Colts team. I think it’s the latter. Reggie Bush will have a big year, and I don’t think Brees will struggle like he did last night. Then again, no one repeats in this division. This year that finally changes. I think.
NFC WEST:
4. 49ers- This division will be the best in football this year. Did you hear that? It is the best division from head to toe. It’s the only explanation I can come up with, to put a solid 49ers team at the bottom of the division. The 49ers may go down in wins this year, but I think they will be a better team. I think Alex Smith has a good year, I think Frank Gore has another great season, and I love the addition of Nate Clements to that defense. This is a weird pick for this team, because I sort of think they’re better then this.

3. Seahawks- Seattle finally takes a step back. The Hawks have owned the division for a few years now, but I just have a gut that this is the year they lose that perch at the top. The loss of Steve Hutchinson will continue to haunt Shaun Alexander who hasn’t been the same player since. Prove me wrong, Seattle.

2. Cardinals- Total homer pick? Not quite. While I’m not sold on their shaky defense, I am sold on Ken Whisenhut and that revamped coaching staff. I think Leinart is ready for his close up, and Edge will have a bounce back year. Stability if what the Cardinals need, and if they can stay healthy, I think they have the type of play makers to host a top 5 offense, and maybe, just maybe a winning season.

1. Rams- Am I buying into the Stephen Jackson hype? Absolutley. The guy is going to put up monster numbers this year, and Bulger and Co. will make that offense a very formidable attack. I think their defense has improved enough for them to make the leap back to division champion. But this division is good enough for any one of the four teams to win it. Even Arizona. Even San Fran.

Tommorrow: NFL Playoff picks

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Complete NFL News NFL news, opinion, comment, injuries, fantasy… everything. From Juiced Sports: Writing Enhanced by Flaxseed Oil.

Alex Gaskarth of All Time Low Interview All Time Low singer and frontman Alex Gaskarth discusses how his addiction to pop music comes off on CDs, for example, a certain song on the new one, So Wrong, It’s Right, that sounds like Jennifer Lopez.