SCOTT JACOBS

It was a good game at a rather subdued Jacksonville Municipal Stadium.  One would argue that the Jaguars thought their might be more on the line going into this one, but with just a 4-10 record and having already been eliminated from the playoffs, there was no AFC South title at stake.  There was no playoff spot.  Not for the Jags at least.

But look on the other side and therein lies the red hot Indianapolis Colts.  They’ve won eight in a row after a very surprising 3-4 start.  The Colts have had a topsy turvy season by their standards, and some of their wins have been games they may not have deserved, so it was fitting that to beat the Jaguars they had to overcome an early 14-0 deficit as well as a 17-7 deficit, en route to a 31-24 win.

And it was the Colts defense, not their offense, that helped finish off the Jags.  Tied at 24 in the fourth David Garrard was picked off by Keiwan Ratliff who took it 35 yards to the house.  And just like that, the Colts were in the lead.  But holding on would not be easy, as Jacksonville drove the ball all the way to the Colts eight, after starting at their own 10.  But poor clock management, and a poor overthrow by David Garrard left the Jags with just 12 seconds, down by a score.

The Jags had no timeouts, and wouldn’t you know it, David Garrard (like Jacksonville’s Super Bowl dreams coming into this season) was sacked by Dwight Freeney and the Jaguars were unable to get off another play.  And with the win, the Colts become just the second team in NFL history to win 11+ games six consecutive seasons.  That is impressive!

So now, the Colts are in.  They join the Titans and the Steelers as the three teams who’ve already clinched an AFC playoff spot.

And boy is Peyton Manning something.  Tonight he went 29-34, for 364 yards and three touchdowns, and he just did it methodically.  He is one of those guys that you never expect to watch lose.  Because when he is on, he is in a league of his own.  And the MVP love is starting to come his way, which I think is deserved.  It had been a while since the Colts had such a difficult year (which is comical considering they now have 11 wins again), but if you look at the way they’ve struggled in certain situations and blotches of the season, it is very impressive to see the Colts back in the playoffs.

As for the Jaguars?

Well, I think one comment on an article I did earlier in the year summed it up best:

“San Diego is in a heated battle with the Jacksonville Jaguars for the NFL’s biggest disappointment of the season.”

The only difference right now?  The Chargers still are in contention for a division title and they have six wins.  The Jags, a year after winning 11, still have just four. It’s cliche I know: but what a difference a year makes.

ShareThis

New York Jets General Manager Mike Tannenbaum sought and received permission to speak with former Green Bay Packer Brett Favre about his interest in playing for Gang Green, according to reports published last Friday.

If the Jets acquire Favre, 38, a 3-time NFL MVP and 7-time All-Pro selection, they will instantly gain credibility and become a legitimate contender in the powerful AFC. New York’s brass should do everything in their capabilities to finalize an agreement with the Packers to attain the iconic quarterback who threw for 4,155 yards and 28 touchdowns last season.

The Jets, who were on the fringe of selecting the University of Southern Mississippi star in the 1991 draft before the Atlanta Falcons swiped him with the 33rd pick, spent like Eliot Spitzer on whores this off-season and they are a win-now team that would be completed by adding a signal-caller of Favre’s caliber.

In virtually every capacity, dealing for Favre is an obvious move for Gang Green’s hierarchy.

Unfortunately, if the Jets say “hello” to Favre, they will have to say “good-bye” to one of the classiest and most underappreciated athletes in the annals of Gotham, Chad Pennington. Pennington, 32, who brought his Jets playbook on his honeymoon and has thrown for 82 touchdowns in comparison to 55 interceptions for his career, is likable and simply an easy man to cheer for.

Pennington’s ragamuffin arm is clearly an issue and the lack of zip and distance he puts on his throws does stunt the Jets offensive schemes. Nevertheless, despite his drawbacks, Pennington is the most accurate passer statistically in the history of the NFL and he is a warrior who has proven that he can win in the playoffs.

If the Jets are able to obtain Favre, they could be on the cusp of flying towards a special season. On the contrary, if New Yorkis unable to complete an agreement with the Packers for number four, Jets fans should supply Pennington (who will defeat Kellen Clemens in the impending quarterback competition) with the unbridled support that he deserves. If the Jets faithful does not provide Pennington, the 2006 NFL Comeback Player of the Year, with the affection that he warrants, it will be the most disgusting and repulsive display seen at the Meadowlands since the Gate D “show your tits” fiasco last autumn.

ShareThis

ROGER CLEMENS
U.S. Olympic baseball team General Manager Bob Watson said Wednesday that Roger Clemens will not be invited to play for his squad this summer in Beijing.

“From my standpoint, we don’t need that type of distraction,” said Watson.

Clemens, a seven-time Cy Young Award winner who is a serial philanderer and rumored abuser of steroids, should vanish like a plane in the Bermuda Triangle before his ailing reputation is desecrated any further. But, common sense will not prevail and the public should not expect a secluded Rocket. Under the guidance of his semi-retarded lawyer, Rusty Hardin, the fat-Texan is poised to become one of the biggest jokes the sports world has witnessed since Tonya Harding and/or the cunnilingus-loving cheerleaders of the Carolina Panthers, Renee Thomas and Angela Ellen Keathley. Unfortunately for Clemens, Americans generally don’t “misremember” national disgraces.

CEDRIC BENSON
Chicago Bears running back Cedric Benson was arrested in Austin,Texas last week for allegedly operating a boat while he was intoxicated and subsequently resisting arrest.

Sergeant Leonard Snyder arrested the former University of Texas star and he wrote in his report that he thought Benson was intoxicated because he was “combative,” “cocky,” “insulting,” and “profane” and at other times he was “crying” and “cooperative.” Unless you witnessed the incident, the only people who truly know what occurred that night are Benson and Snyder. Nevertheless, if the official police report holds even a granule of accuracy, Benson should be considered for the role of Sybil should a producer ever decide to create a remake of the 1976 drama film.

PITTSBURGH PENGUINS
The Pittsburgh Penguins and the Philadelphia Flyers will play game one of the Eastern Conference Finals tonight at the Mellon Arena in Pittsburgh. I know as much about the sport of hockey as Paris Hilton knows about abstinence. Still, I have a fleeting hunch that superstar Sidney Crosby and the Penguins are on the cusp of becoming a 90’s Chicago Bulls-like dynasty. Again, I am not exactly the mullet-cherishing Barry Melrose. But, I have that feeling. Stay tuned….

ShareThis

MARVIN HARRISON
Seemingly wholesome Indianapolis Colts wide receiver Marvin Harrison is under investigation for a shooting that occurred outside a bar on Tuesday in his hometown of Philadelphia. Lt. Frank Vanore said Friday that Harrison, 35, has not been arrested nor have charges been filed against the former Syracuse star.

“He (Harrison) was interviewed,” said Vanore. “Why he was interviewed, that is all a part of the investigation. No one is a suspect.”

Granted, perception is not always reality and it is impossible for anyone who doesn’t genuinely know Harrison to testify about his character. But, from afar, Marvin-freaking-Harrison is being investigated for shooting a man! I thought Ned Flanders would rape a nun before the legendary Colt was being fried by Philly’s finest for firing a firearm. As the adage goes, “Don’t sit too close to the ballerina. You will lose the illusion.”

LEITCH VERSUS BISSINGER
The founding editor of the enormously popular Gawker Media sports blog Deadspin, Will Leitch, was verbally-slaughtered by Pulitzer Prize-winning reporter and author Buzz Bissinger this week on Bob Costas’ HBO series “Costas Now.”

The menacing and over-the-top Bissinger intimidated Leitch to the point that the blogger looked like he wanted to crawl into the fetal position to get away from the man who penned “Friday Night Lights.”

“I really think you’re full of shit,” Bissinger sermonized Leitch. “I think that blogs are dedicated to cruelty, dedicated to dishonesty… It is the complete dumbing down of our society.”

Leitch looked pathetic during the segment and his lack of moxie makes me think that a yellow streak runs down his scrawny back. It was truly disheartening to watch the Godfather of Sports bloggers go down like an intern in the Oval Office to an aging windbag like Bissinger. In my eyes, Leitch is dead and there is no other way to spin it.

ROGER CLEMENS
I will leave you all with a joke that my friend and co-worker told me earlier in the week.

Q: What does Boston Red Sox pitcher Roger Clemens and a blackjack dealer have in common?

A: They both hit on 15.

ShareThis

• I thank you all for taking the time to provide me with some of your time. I hope I am able to entertain with my rapid take on the past week in the world of sports.

• Since the 2004 season, the Boston Red Sox have had the rare decided edge in their rivalry with the New York Yankees. Last year, a major piece to the Sox championship success was their late-innings relievers and their dynamic closer, Jonathan Papelbon. Because Papelbon, 27, has thrived in his first two All-Star-caliber seasons in the majors, he recently claimed that he is at the top of his profession and his contract should been indicative of his status as the game’s best out of the bullpen.

“I feel a certain obligation to not only myself and my family to make the money I deserve but for the game of baseball – I mean, Mariano Rivera has been doing it for the past 10 years,” said Papelbon. “With me coming up behind him, I feel a certain obligation to do the same. And, yeah, I’m at the mercy of the club right now to a certain extent. But you know, it’s just a matter of ironing out the numbers and we haven’t ironed them out yet. Hopefully we can get a mutual agreement.”

There is no argument that Papelbon is a great talent and he likely is in fact the best closer in the game at this particular juncture. But, make no mistake, he has some brass and audacity to even place his name next to the best closer in the history of the sport of baseball. When the Yankees whirlwind pitcher began dominating the sport in 1995, Papelbon was a 14 year old kid from Louisiana probably masturbating to the female cast (I hope) of Friends. Papelbon has been excellent since being called-up in 2005 and I am sure that he will excel in his profession for years to come. But, to date, his resume exhibits one good postseason and one homoerotic “riverdance” performance that New Englanders have come to cherish. Say what you will, but that pedigree sounds just a tad underwhelming in comparison to the Sandman’s and Papelbon needs to stop going “off to never never land.”

• Within the past week alone, New York Yankees owner Hank Steinbrenner has sparred verbally with persons within the Boston Red Sox and Tama Bay Rays organizations. Don’t get me wrong, I am an enormous supporter of the brazen chain-smoker and his candid bluster. But, sometimes enough yammering is enough yammering. Hankenstein needs to become more selective when it comes to deciding what battles he wants to wage. As Proposition Joe Stewart once said on HBO’s the Wire, “You stir up a bees nest, there ain’t no tellin’ who’s gonna get stung.” Pick and choose your battles with wise selection, Hank. Pick and choose.

• The New York Jets have spent like Eliot Spitzer on whores so far this off-season and their splurge has agitated a number of Jets veteran players who feel like they should be compensated before newcomers to the team are. Are the fumes and toxins from the Jersey swamps officially getting to the men from East Rutherford or what? The Jets went 4-12 last season and they have been among the worst teams in the NFL in two of the past three seasons. So, how can these traditional losers have the moxie to bellyache about anything? When your record stands at 18-30 since 2005, you should shut your mouth and express gratitude for even maintaining employment. Like usual, the Gang Green roster seems to be diseased.

• It was nice to see Boston Mayor Thomas Michael Menino attend the 107th annual St. Patrick’s Day Parade in South Boston Sunday. After all, his premature parade arrangements for the New England Patriots Super Bowl championship did not exactly materialize seamlessly.

• Now that the Los Angeles Lakers are back among the NBA’s elite, one needs to wonder if their whiny superstar, Kobe Bryant, still wants General Manager Mitch Kupchak’s balls in a vice.

• Unknown professional golfer Tripp Isenhour was charged with cruelty to animals last week after killing a red-shouldered hawk because of noises the bird was making while he was filming his “Shoot like a Pro” instructional video. According to witnesses, Isenhour began driving balls towards the hawk in an attempt to get it to fly off into the sky. After firing off approximately nine-shots, Isenhour drove a ball that struck the hawk in the side of the head causing the bird to fall 75-feet to the ground. The hawk bled from both nostrils as it lay on the golf course dying. Granted, like Isenhour said, it was likely a “one-in-a-million” shot that he couldn’t replicate if he tried. Nevertheless, I kind of wish Alfred Hitchcock’s movie the Bird’s came to truth during that one moment. Now, that would be “one-in-a-million.”

• Thanks again for reading my work. Without your readership, I’d have zero reason to write.

ShareThis

• I thank you for taking the time to give me some of your time. I hope I am able to entertain with my rapid take on the past few days in the world of sports.

• The Los Angeles Lakers (42-18) defeated the Dallas Mavericks (39-21) 108-104 in overtime Sunday at the Staples Center to continue their streak of dominance since acquiring power forward Paul Gasol in a trade completed early last month. When Lakers center Andrew Bynum returns from his knee injury in late-March, he will team with Gasol and forward Lamar Odom to formulate one of the most powerful frontlines in recent NBA history. The Lakers formidable trio, coupled with the brilliance of Kobe Bryant, should allow Los Angeles to waltz their way through the brutal Western Conference and into the NBA Finals come June. For the first time since the 2004 season, the Hollywood Fakers are authentic and I expect the franchise to earn their 15th championship banner when this campaign is in the books.

• ESPN executives announced last week that they have hired Bob Knight to work as a guest studio analyst leading up to and during the NCAA Tournament. There is a provision in Knight’s curious contract that prohibits any of his new colleagues from ever referring to him as a “member of the media.” The polarizing bully, who hasn’t led a team to a championship in 21-years, never ceases to amaze with his unjustifiable sense of entitlement and elitism. Bob Knight, who won more NCAA Division I games than any other coach, knows the game of basketball as well as anyone. But, he is a miserable excuse for a man and I predict that he won’t be an insightful or quality “member of the media.” Good luck, Bristol. Your suits made your own bed and now you have to sleep at Knight.

• New York Yankees part-owner Hank Steinbrenner grated the New England region this week when he attacked the notion of “Red Sox Nation.”

“Red Sox Nation? What a bunch of (expletive) that is,” said the brazen chain-smoker. “This is a Yankee country. We’re going to put the Yankees back on top and restore the universe to order.”

Hank Steinbrenner is truly a remarkable man and one needs to hope that Time Magazine has seriously considered nominating him as their “Person of the Year.” The sports world has been convoluted since the Sox inexplicably won the World Series in 2004 and it’s a testament to “Big Hank’s” character that he is going to take it upon himself to reestablish normalcy in the world of athletics. After all, the “Bronx Bombers” on their lonesome have as many championships (26) as the Celtics (16), Sox (7) and New England Patriots (3) combined.

• The New York Jets molested the pooch last week when they traded the 2004 NFL Defensive Rookie of the Year, Jonathan Vilma, 25, to the New Orleans Saints for a conditional pick in the 2009 draft. This mindless trade illustrates why the Jets are the league’s red-headed-step-children and it furthers my speculation that I will expire before I ever witness a Jets Super Bowl victory. The incompetent brass running Gang Green jettisoned the talented linebacker because they contend that he is ill-suited to play in their 3-4 defensive schemes. If Jets Head Coach Eric Mangini was really a genius, he would adapt to his personnel instead of stubbornly employing a system that clearly is not in the best interest of his team. Instead of adapting, “Mangenius” and General Manager Mike Tannenbaum swapped the 12th overall pick in the 2004 draft for what essentially amounts to a one-month supply of beef jerky. J-E-T-S Why?! Why?! Why?!

• Kudos to Tennessee Titans quarterback Vince Young, 24, for enrolling in the 2008 spring semester at the University of Texas to complete his degree. Young, who signed a $58 million contract in 2006 with the Titans, is expected to graduate this May. I am not convinced that Young will be a superstar in the NFL. Nevertheless, the league needs more men like Young and the “Lone Star State” should be proud that they produced such an upstanding gentleman.

• Thanks again for providing me with your time. Without your readership, I’d have absolutely zero reason to write.

ShareThis

• I thank you all for giving me some of your time. I hope I am able to entertain everyone with my rapid thoughts on the past few days in the world of sports.

• Kelvin Sampson, a mental-gimp who is a notorious and talentless repeat-cheater, resigned as Head Coach of the Indiana University men’s basketball team Friday night after agreeing to a $750,000 buyout of his contract. In the interim, Dan Dakich will assume coaching responsibilities and attempt to lead the Hoosiers (22-4) to their first championship since 1987. Despite the Hoosiers great success on the hardwood to date, this has been the darkest season in the storied and pristine history of the program and jettisoning the worthless Sampson should be considered as steps to a renaissance for the Assembly Hall faithful. Indiana doesn’t necessarily need Coach Norman Dale. But, they do need someone and I’d rather have Delilah than Sampson.

• IBO and IBF Heavyweight Champion Wladimir Klitschko (50-3), 31, defeated an underwhelming Sultan Ibragimov (22-1-1), 32, via unanimous decision to gain Ibragimov’s WBO crown in a boring and lackluster fight at Madison Square Garden Saturday night. Despite the hideous display of pugilism, Klitschko got closer to becoming the first unified heavyweight champion in nearly two-decades and anything he does henceforth I will handle with kid gloves (pun intended). Klitschko may not be akin to the menacing Russian Ivan Drago. But, there are no Rocky Balboa’s in this once glamorous division and, at this point, “Dr. Steelhammer” is acceptable and simply as good as it gets.

• William Gary, an undrafted rookie who played for the 2001 St. Louis Rams in their 20-17 upset-loss to the New England Patriots in Super Bowl XXXVI, has filed a $100 million lawsuit with others against the team from Foxboro in retaliation to reports that the Patriots illegally filmed the Rams walk-through prior to the game. Gary’s mindless lawsuit is the most asinine attempt to extort money since Cosmo Kramer and his lawyer, Jackie Chiles, sued Java World for brewing “hot” coffee that eventually burned the eccentric Seinfeld character. If Gary’s case is not immediately dismissed as baseless, our legal system is in utter disarray.

• I am virtually positive that I know what candidate I am going to vote for in the 2008 Presidential Election. But, if Senator Arlen Specter (R-PA) unexpectedly and belatedly threw his name into the mix, I’d have to revise my choice.

• The New England Patriots (18-1*) were a collection of unlikable players in the 2007 season. Within a span of one year, they were caught cheating. Their “Golden-Boy” quarterback, Tom Brady, had a child out-of-wedlock while he was fornicating with a Brazilian supermodel. One of their stars on defense and the dirtiest player in the entire league, safety Rodney Harrison, 34, tested positive for performance enhancing drugs. Their polarizing jackass of a wide receiver, Randy Moss, was accused by a woman of battery. Finally, to put a neat-bow on the crew of miscreants, their sunny and classless Head Coach, Bill Belichick, decided to vacate the field before time expired in their 17-14 Super Bowl loss to the New York football Giants.

Nevertheless, all is not evil and bad. Sometimes one just needs to look more closely to find the good in something or someone. Thanks to the Patsies timely demise, thousands upon thousands of unsold hats and shirts with the slogans “19-0″ and “Patriots Super Bowl Champions” were donated to a charity that shipped the comedic merchandise to an impoverished Central American country this past week. See, there is light everywhere in a world that sometimes seems dark and unforgiving. Just ask the poor Nicaraguan children who are now unwittingly the newest members of Patriot Nation.

• PLEASE DO NOT READ THE FOLLOWING IF YOU ARE YET TO WATCH EPISODE 58 OF HBO’S CRITICALLY ACCLAIMED DRAMA THE WIRE.

One of the greatest characters in the annals of modern television was murdered last Sunday night by a psychotic, cat-torturing 13-year-old. Omar Devon Little, 34, a homosexual stick-up artist beloved by alpha-males everywhere, died instantly after receiving a single gunshot wound to the head in a Korean convenience store. “Oh, indeed,” Little’s unique and disciplined “code” and his engaging screen presence will forever be missed. As the facially-scarred gunmen once said, “You come at the king, you best not miss.” Omar never missed and he will always be a king to fans of the Wire. Rest-in-peace, Mr. Little.

• Thanks again for reading my material. Without your readership, I’d have absolutely zero reason to write.

ShareThis

• I thank you all for giving me some of your time. I hope I am able to entertain you with my thoughts on the greatest Super Bowl ever played.

• Ding Dong the witch is dead. The team that many proclaimed was the greatest in the history of the NFL was not even the best one on the gridiron in 2007. In an upset of Davey and Goliath proportions, the New York football Giants (14-6) defeated the “unbeatable” New England Patriots (18-1*) 17-14 in Glendale, Arizona in Super Bowl XLII.
Super Bowl MVP Eli Manning (19-for-34, 255 yards, 2 touchdowns), an individual I once compared to Corky Thatcher, threw the game-winning 13-yard touchdown pass to embattled wide receiver Plaxico Burress with 35-seconds remaining in regulation to lead the Big Blue to their third championship in franchise history.

Despite their shocking demise, the record-setting 2007 New England Patriots were a legendary squad whose accomplishments should never be forgotten or diminished. Unfortunately, in lieu of Sunday’s gut-wrenching loss, one can anticipate that history will not be kind or complimentary to the Patsies.

At this moment, it is impractical to suggest that this years version of the Patriots are anything more than the 43rd best team in the history of the National Football League and it would be an utter crime to mention them in the same breath as the 2007 championship-winning football team from Gotham.

• Senator Arlen Specter of Pennsylvania, the ranking Republican on the Senate Judiciary Committee, announced last week that he wants to speak with NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell and possibly hold hearings to determine the leagues reasoning for destroying all evidence from “Spygate.” In response to Specter’s request, Goodell stated that he would gladly meet with the Senator to discuss the Patriots cheating tactics and the two have tentatively agreed to rendezvous sometime early next week.

Two days after Specter’s and Goodell’s political jockeying, the Boston Herald published a report Saturday asserting that Bill Belichick and his nefarious Patriot staff illegally taped the St. Louis Rams’ private walk-through before their 20-17 triumph in Super Bowl XXXVI. If such an unsportsmanlike taping actually transpired, the Patriots would have had an enormous competitive edge in the red zone and there is little to no question that it would have played a vital role in New England’s measly 3-point “upset” victory over the heavily-favored Rams.

Whatever motives Specter may have for revitalizing the notorious “Spygate” scandal, if this allegation is proved to be true, Goodell needs to administer a swift and powerful punishment to Belichick and New England as a whole. I’d broach the idea of publicly stoning the philandering fashion-plate. But, in a civilized society, that isn’t realistic. So, suspending Belichick for an entire season and forfeiting the Patriots 2001 championship campaign would seem perfectly justified. Draconian sanctions of the like are not unprecedented in the world of sports. Just ask the University of Michigan and the much-ballyhooed “Fab Five.” In case you forgot, their 1992 Final Four run never happened.
As Sophocles once said, “I’d rather fail with honor than succeed by fraud.”

• The New York Giants, who entered Sunday as 11-point underdogs in the Super Bowl, cost Nevada sports books a record $2.6 million with their epic 17-14 victory. As Detective Jimmy McNulty said on HBO’s the Wire, “You play in dirt, you get dirty.”

• Eli Manning, 27, deserves a wealth of credit and respect for producing under Manhattan’s unrelenting and downright harsh glare. Nevertheless, regardless of his performance in the playoffs, Manning is an unrefined product who desperately needs to improve his horrid mechanics in the off-season. I am not trying to urinate on Eli while he sips on his champagne.
The facts are that this past season Manning, the 1st overall selection in the 2004 draft, had a sub-par quarterback rating (73.9), he completed only 56.1% of his passes and he was tied for the league lead with 20 interceptions. Those numbers are virtually Leaf-ian and it is imperative that Manning develops into the performer that his skills indicate he can become on a consistent basis. If he doesn’t locate consistency with his game, the New York area will turn on him quicker than a pit bull on a poodle and Arizona will feel further away than Melmac.

ShareThis

ShareThis