SCOTT JACOBS

So you had the Dolphins winning 10 games this year right?  Ya, me too!

Well, we’re six bowls games in, and JSB is just 3-3, losing all three contests by a combined 9 points!  Boise State, Troy, and Fresno State are all getting coal in their stockings this year.

So the Lions have finished playing their home slate of games for 2008.  But you don’t have to wait too long if you want to see more mediocre football at Ford Field: Central Michigan and Florida Atlantic play there in the Motor City Bowl on Friday.

NBC opted to flex the Broncos-Chargers game to primetime, over Chad Pennington’s return to New York (ahem, New Jersey) with the greatest single season turnaround in NFL history on the line? Look, Miami hasn’t played a lot of great teams this year, and they’re not exactly a star studded squad, but c’om, the Chargers at 7-8!  Since when did the bowl system follow up into the pro ranks?

The Celtics have won 19 in a row, are 27-2, and boast the best two loss record in NBA history. But who cares about that!  Is LeBron James leaving Cleveland or not?  C’mon LeBron we know you know.

Coming in 2010: NBA Free Agency, the True story of fake rumors.  Producer: Jerry Bruckheimer.  Starring: Will Ferrel and Tom Cruise.  Don’t ask, don’t tell, don’t worry about the present is rumored to be the movie’s slogan.

Speaking of 2010, who needs to play the 2009 Super Bowl?  Why not just move on to Miami, where the 2010 game will be played.

Wonder what Joe the Plumber is doing for the holidays?  Ya, me neither.

So did you hear the news?  The Coyotes are pretty much broke.  Apparently they don’t make any money on parking at their arena, Jobing.com. In fact, they actually have to pay about $2 million out of their pockets. Sounds like they got jobbed when they agreed to that stupid deal.

Hey it’s that time of the year: the time for giving?  Nah, it’s the time for Brett Favre rumors.  Will he come back, will he retire, or will he continue advertising with Wrangler?  Check back sometime in June.  The Jets seemingly checked out last week.

Capital One Bowl Week: Catch it… go outside and do something with your life.

Got to love Sports Illustrated!  You know what they put on their end of the year cover?  One of the rescued dogs from Bad Newz Kennels. SI really did it this time.  How can you possibly put the SI jinx on anything that’s already been touched by Mike Vick?  Exactly, you can’t!

Anyone find the timing ironic?  Rookie Matt Ryan leads the Falcons to a stunning wildcard berth, and Mike Vick’s dogs still get top billing.  What does a once in a decade rookie QB have to do to get some love around here?

Favorite quote of the week if not the month: “They are on a completely different economic playing field,” Brewers owner Mark Attanasio said today of the New York Yankees. “I paid $220 million for my team; now they get three players for $420 million.”  I guess they shopped the discount rack.

Wes Welker was fined $10,000 for making a snow angel in New England’s trouncing of Arizzzzzzzzzzzzz…ona.  In unrelated news, the NFL cancelled Christmas.

Have a safe, happy, and healthy holidays everybody.

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SCOTT JACOBS

You know the expression, ‘close is only good in horseshoes and hand-grenades?’  Well, nowhere in that saying is the game of football.  So say what you want about Detroit’s surprisingly respectable performance against a blazing hot Colts team that has now one seven in a row.  They played hard, they gave like 110% or something like that.  They still lost by 10.

Yes, the Lions have officially showed us that they will not quit on lame-duck coach Rod Marinelli, and they have shown heart in their last few weeks, pushing the Vikes to the wire last weekend, and giving the Colts a little scare this weekend.  But do the math and the Lions are no better than they were yesterday.  They’re no closer to avoiding history.  But they’re very close to becoming history.  With just a pair of games left, at home against the Saints and at the Packers, the Lions are not only staring infamy in the face, they’re looking at it right in the eyes.

It’s always nice when a team that has had nothing to play for, for months goes out and puts together a good game.  But the Lions are approaching unchartered territory here.  With their 14th straight loss to start the year the Mowtown Miserables matched Tampa Bay’s 1976 Yucs with their 0-14 record.  But in the 70’s they only played 14 games.  Nowadays, they play 16.  And with a potential regular season schedule of 18 games in 2010 the Lions might be the last team to venture into this kind of misery.

Consider: like the Patriots last year, the Lions have to play more games then the 72 Dolphins or 76 Yucs.  And because of that winning all your games, like losing em all are both harder then ever to do. But boy are the Lions giving the record a run for their money.

With next week’s final home game against the Saints, the Lions are probably looking at their last shot for a win.  Will the Saints come out flat knowing they’re not going to the playoffs, or will they come determined not to lose to ‘that team.’  When you turn pro there are no moral victories.  This is just sad.  This is the NFL.  The National Football League.  Paid professionals who have the best resources available are stinking up the joint in historic fashion.  Just imagine if you were a salesman and the entire year you didn’t make a sale.  You’d be fired!  Instead, people are just starting to feel sorry for the Lions.  Screw that!

I’m sorry for their fans.  The economic climate in Detroit isn’t exactly shooting through the roof, and all the fans that paid good money to see a woeful product really got royally screwed.  If I were the Lions and I lose ‘em all, I’d offer them a refund.  It’s the same thing as going to a concert only to see no one show up.  You better believe you’d get your money back or there’d be problems!

So the Lions are close.  Real close now.  They may be closing the gap, or they may just be giving everything they have left, and slowly realizing its not enough.  Whatever it is, 1-15 is tolerable at this point. 0-16 is just a slap in the face.

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SCOTT JACOBS

Pop the corks Miami!  Your perfect run lives on another year.  With the Titans falling, and falling hard today34-13 to the all of a sudden red hot New York football Jets, every team in the NFL officially has at least one blemish on their record.  Brett Favre, who was a calm cool 25-32 for 224 yards, two scores, and one pick did everything he needed to, and New York (a year after a miserable 4-12 season) doubled their 2007 win total to eight, with five games left to play.  New York wanted to win, and they wanted to win now, and the move to acquire Favre, and the big money they spent on free agents has really paid off.  They maintained their one game lead in the AFC East over the Patriots, but the Jets proved with their win in Nashville that they may be a Super Bowl contender.  I didn’t think that was possible earlier in the year, but now?  Well, the Jets are well on their way to the post-season, and with a little help, could get a first round bye.

And with Tennessee’s loss, comes the end of a Thanksgiving tussle that could’ve been epically awful.  The Titans failed to extend their record to 11-0, and with it, ended any hope that we could see an 11-0 team play an 0-11 team on national television Thanksgiving Day.  The Lions did their part today, blowing a 17-0 lead at home to Tampa Bay, and getting practically run off the field the rest of the way in a 38-20 laugher.  The Lions were within four after halftime, but were run off the field in the second half, as the Bucs outscored Detroit 17-3.  Ford Field sounded like a ghost-town.  Faint sounds of boos echoed throughout the game, but it’s as if the Motown support has left the building.  The Lions are 0-11, and practically sprinting to a 0-16 ending.  Rumors have run rampant that the Lions could actually fail to sell out their annual Turkey Day nightmare, which would create a blackout in Detroit.  But would that be a bad thing?  Probably not.  Afterall, the Lions are just atrocious.  The Dolphins were bad last year en route to their 0-13 start, but they were in most of their games.  The Lions?  Well, in their last two home games, Detroit has been outscored by 42!  Ouch.

So that means that this year’s Turkey Day lineup may be the lamest ever.  In addition to the Titans-Lions game, the later game is Seattle-Dallas.  Hope springs eternal though that the Cardinals-Eagles game on NFL Network will provide some fireworks.  Afterall, the Eagles are now a .500 team with a tie, and their season is over with a loss at home to Arizona.

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SCOTT JACOBS

Today the Lions looked like a high school team.  Seriously!  They wore their throwback Lion blue jerseys with silver numbers, a silver plain helmet, and plain silver pants.  And then they took the field and played like one too.  The Lions were lambasted once again on Sunday, as they lost at home 38-14 to the Jaguars.  The loss dropped the pathetic, atrocious, undeniably worst team in the NFL Lions to a depressing 0-9.  They may be celebrating their 75th anniversary, but this year has been nothing but a nightmare.

Meanwhile, the Titans kept rolling along, as they went into Soldier Field and beat a good Bears team 21-14.  The tough, hard-nosed Titans known for their great defense, and phenomenol running game, only got one part of that today, as the Bears shut down Tennessee’s Thunder, and their Lightning, holding Tennessee to just 20 yards on the ground.  But have no fear Tennessee said, as Kerry Collins had his best game of the season with 289 yards and 2 touchdowns.  So even when you shut down Tennessee’s awesome ground game you still can’t beat ‘em.  They may not be flashy, they may not be dynamic, but the Titans improved to a sterling 9-0 with the win, and inched us one step closer to an epically awesome…

Perfect-Winless showcase!

We almost got it last year when the Dolphins started out 0-13 and the Patriots 13-0, but Miami won their 14th game, right before they were due to fly to New England, so that became moot.  This year, things look different.  The Titans are a road win at Jacksonville and a home win over the Jets away from doing their part to get to 11-0.  The Lions are a road loss at Carolina and a home loss to Tampa Bay away from sliding to 0-11.  Thus, the possibility increases that that on CBS’s annual Thanksgiving showcase, we will get the perfect versus the atrocious.  On national TV while everyone chows down on their Thanksgiving lunch.  Detroit, are you ready to give up that Turkey day home game yet?

I for one will be rooting for it.

11-0 Titans versus 0-11 Lions on National TV?

Now that would be awesome.  And maybe, just maybe, the NFL would come to their senses, and end this aggravating Lions tradition. Because the only tradition the Lions have is losing.

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SCOTT JACOBS

A first rounder, a third rounder, and a sixth rounder.

That’s all it took today to pry the very gifted Roy Williams out of Detroit and into Dallas. When I say all of course, I say that sarcastically. Man, what a steep price to pay for a wide receiver. But hey, this might be as much a PR move at this point (with the way Dallas’ week has gone I wouldn’t put it past ‘em) as a football move.

Dallas has had a horrible week. First they lost to the Cardinals after shaving off a late 10 point deficit, only to become the first team in NFL history to lose on a blocked punt returned for a touchdown in overtime. The next day their leader and the man that keeps the team unified, Tony Romo, was diagnosed with a broken finger, and he’ll miss four weeks. Felix Jones is out. And today, Adam “I will never learn” Jones was suspended indefinitely after his altercation with a body guard last week. Besides that, it’s been a good week for Dallas which has now lost two out of their last three, falling into second place in the tightly packed NFC East.

So it’s not hard to understand why Dallas needed something good to happen. The problem is, Roy Williams is a gamble. Now, for most NFL teams this move would be welcomed in with open arms. But Dallas folks isn’t most teams. They’re the NFL’s best soap opera, the team loaded with talent, but also loaded with the burden of 12 years and counting since they last won a playoff game. They wimped out of the post-season last year to the eventual Super Bowl champion New York Giants after winning 13 games in the regular season.

So they needed something. Anything, to revive hope after a tumultuous few days. Enter: Roy Williams. We should note before going any further that this officially ends the Detroit WR experiment considering all three first round wide receivers that they took three years in a row are now elsewhere. Anywho…

So back to the trade. Detroit gets a lot of picks to rebuild a saggy, sorry franchise that is free-falling, even after Matt Millen was canned a few weeks back. Dallas gets one of the best wide outs in football. Williams is in the last year of his contract so Dallas will have him locked in to a new five year deal shortly. But then what?

Immensely talented and blessed with incredibly soft hands, Williams is a great number one wideout. But a number two? On Dallas? With that guy, uh what’s his name again? Starts with a T ends in extremely selfish. O yeah, Terell Owens. Owens is already a little peeved that he’s not getting the ball a lot lately (shocker there!), so how will he react when the Cowboys new big fish comes in, and starts taking some of his catches?

Asking this question is beyond ridiculous, it’s sad. Because a normal athlete would gladly take Mr. Williams under his wing and be more then happy to share. But we all know Owens isn’t normal. He probably punched a wall when he heard this trade. Probably called that agent of his and asked what to do.

“Drew, I don’t know what to do man. I got this great player coming to Dallas. Rilliams I think? Something like that. Anyhow, I just know he’s going to take away some of my catches, and even though I won’t get as many passes thrown to me, they can’t double me up now.”

“That’s awful buddy. Should we demand a trade?”

“Um, give me a few days…”

(hangs up phone).

So the dilemna isn’t whether Williams can be a difference maker or whether he can stay healthy. The real question is whether T.O. is willing to let another star talent share his turf. In Arizona they’ve made it work with Anquan and Fitzgerald. But those guys are gamers and they’re team players. Owens you may have heard is not a team player.

What happens from here no one knows.

Brad Johnson takes the QB reigns for about a month and neither guy will probably get the ball much, because Johnson has a weak arm. But then, after the Cowboys get Romo back what happens? Will they be one happy family, play together, and realize their ’sky is the limit’ potential. Or will another alpha dog on the team lead to problems and one very unhappy prima donna wide receiver?

Those are the questions.

And unlike Radio Shack, we don’t have answers.

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SCOTT JACOBS

It’s over. You can leave your caves, open your eyes, take the shutters off of your doors, do what you have to do.

Matt Millen is no longer running the Detroit Lions.

Today it was announced that he is leaving the team, but we all know that this was probably a kind way of saying, “I’m going to get fired, so I might as well leave.”

Any way you look at it, the embattled Lions President finally left. He’s gone. Leaving behind him, a baffling record that transcends the question, how did he last so long in the first place? Since 2001 Millen has driven the Lions into the ground. They have the worst record in the NFL since his hire, and minimal progress has been made.

He selected three wideouts in the first round in three successive drafts, but never gave the Lions the offensive line or defense they needed. Fans have tried to run him out of town for years, and have gone so far as to threatening to lynch him. Okay, so I made that one up, but it was bad. Real bad.

31-84 bad.

And finally, today, the Lions cleaned house of the man who had to go.

The Lions need a fresh start. They’re 0-3 right now, they haven’t made the playoffs since 1999, and their last division title came in 1993. For those of you keeping score at home, that’s 15 years! The Lions have had four head coaches under Millen’s watch. He started off by hiring Marty Mornhinweg,, who lasted for two seasons. Then came Steve Mariucci in 2003, till his ouster in 2005. Dick Jauron got a chance as an interim head coach, before the Lions hired current coach Rod Marinelli, who at this point, is probably the next to go.

Under Millen the Lions set a NFL record for road futility losing 24 (TWENTY FOUR) consecutive road games, or another way of putting it: three consecutive seasons of 0 for the road.

Here’s a few more highlights (I mean lowlights) from Matt Millen’s epically awful tenure as Lions President:

2001- In Millen’s first season with the team, and the last year of the Pontiac Silverdome, Detroit races out of the gate to a 0-11 start. They finished with a franchise record 14 losses.

2002- The Franchise Savior, Joey Harrington is drafted. Needless, to say, four horrible years later, Joey (like the show bearing the same name) was canceled in in the Motor City.

Lions lose their final 8 games to end the season with a terrible 3-13 record.

2003- The Lions muster eight first downs and 106 yards of total offense even with the Carolina Panthers resting five starters, and lose 20-14, breaking the Houston Oilers’ 1981-1984 mark for most consecutive road losses. Mike McMahon led the team that day with 36 passing yards.

2004- Lions start 2-0, but go 4-10 to close the year, finishing with another losing season.

2005- Joey Harrington cements status as a major bust, and Lions lose six of their final seven games to once again finish in the lower rung of the NFL.

2006- Joey Harrington comes back to Detroit only this time he’s with the Dolphins, and dismantles Detroit in a 27-10 rout on Thanksgiving. Everything the Lions do, turns to crap.

2007- Lions start out at 6-2, but fold down the stretch winning one of their last eight games. Baffled at why Matt Millen hasn’t been fired yet, Detroit fans continue to wail in despair.

2008- Millen finally leaves the team, leaving fans to proclaim, “Good Grief!”

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