SCOTT JACOBS

I think we’ve all come to grips with the outrageous contracts that our American athletes get paid for playing a game. I’m not saying whether we agree or in more likely cases, disagree with the ludicrous cash that is sent their way for being great, I’m simply pointing out that it’s become an accepted part of our culture.  However, that doesn’t just mean that in the worst economic reccession that many of us have seen in our lifetimes that our athletes can make a mockery of the sagging economy that we live in, just because they can hit a ball.

Hey Mr. Dreadlocks, ya you in blue shirt over there.  You know who you are, can I have a word with you.  A little birdie told me that you’re an ungreatful, evil jerk who not only gives up sometimes, but also way over-estimates what he’s worth.

I’d like to show you Joe over there who’s struggling to make ends meet because he was one of tens of thousands of people fired from Citi (even though they apparently still have the resources to sponsor the Mets new park).  I’d like you to meet that girl over there.  She’s been out of work for two years, because the job market is so competitive.  Sure, she goes to interview after interview, and sometimes she even gets close, but each time she agonizingly gets passed up because someone newer and younger steals her spot.  See that guy over there?  He was going to buy his family Christmas presents this past December, but after losing his job he’s now struggling to keep up with mortgage payments so they don’t foreclose his house.

I just wanted to ask you a question.  A few actually.  Let’s see, where to begin.  Okay, I got one.  Is it true you turned down a two year $45 million contract a few months ago?  That’s what the Dodgers are saying.  If that’s true, is it true that yesterday the Dodgers would have paid you $25 million just so you could hit a stupid white ball for them and play half ass defense, and you had the gall to say NO?

You know why athletes get a bad rap?  Because of jerks like you.  Idiots like yourself have no semblance of money, no presence of mind that the rest of the country is falling apart.  But sure, you really need the money.  I mean, who doesn’t need $25 million each season for like five years to make ends meet?

You make me sick.  Do you have any idea what it’s like for a teacher right now, who’s worked at an insitition for higher learning for 20 years and then gets laid off because the school can no longer afford her?  Do you have any idea what it’s like to be a caterer who’s worked for over 20 years, and is royally screwed because the last thing people are worrying about is parties and luxury.  People are trying to get by.  Some are reaching into their savings 30 years earlier then they had planned, because they have no where to go.

You know why athletes get a bad rap?  Because of jerks like you.

But you’re still hunting for every last dime, and it’s understandable that you need some money so that your children’s, children’s, children’s, children’s children never need to work a day in their life.  Back in 2000 the Red Sox really scammed you, didn’t they, by rewarding you with one of the biggest free agent contracts in baseball history?  They signed you to an eight year deal worth $160 million.  You felt cheated, so you took plays off, sometimes didn’t feel like running out that good ol’ ground ball, and you were constantly a distraction.  But “Manny being Manny” became funny, like a catchphrase.  It was cool to be a lazy over-paidout of touch with the real world jerk.

And now, after opting out of that deal, you’re back on the free agent market.  The Dodgers want you, but your agent is warning LA not to play “chicken.” No one else is even competing with them.  The Dodgers have no offense, and the fans have already embraced you.  No other city wants your poisonous attitude, and your unlikeable persona identifying them.

But no, it’s not good enough.  You want five or six years, instead of two.  You’re getting old, but hey, you play baseball, the sucker sport, where great players (good guys or not) can fleece franchises of hundreds of millions of dollars just for putting a little white ball in play.  So you’re sucking at the power teet, because hey it became clear a long time ago that you could care less what people think of you.

I’m so glad the Marlins didn’t trade for you.  While you would have most likely improved their record, and maybe even have gotten them to the playoffs, I’d rather fall short with good likeable guys, then do a little better with a clubhouse cancer, and someone who really needs to get a clue.

But hey, someone will pay you, someone always does.

That will never, however, change the fact that you’ve pissed off karma.  And karma is a bitch my friend.

SCOTT JACOBS

Hey guys! Welcome back to the program. Consider our two day hiatus away from your computer a re-examination, to make sure we were seeing things correctly. We had to get our contact prescription corrected so we could re-read the NFL standings. And we needed new glasses so we could make sure we read right that Tampa Bay is hosting the ALCS. And can the NFC West really be that bad? Well, actually that one’s kind of easy: yes.

So before you jump over a car, stick around as we make our way through the sports world seemingly with our beer googles on. It’s the only way to make sense of the madness.

Titantic shocker
So the Tennessee Titans are now 5-0 after coming back in Crabcake nation to defeat the Baltimore Ravens 13-10. The Titans being 5-0 is a surprise. A huge one infact, but it’s not the team that has us even more amazed. It’s 12,345 year old Kerry Collins, who has come out of nowhere to manage this team to a perfect record. Vince Young is no longer the golden boy, in fact, he’s now the problem child, and Tennessee’s number three draft choice from the 2005 draft looks like a bigger bust every day. So, when Tennessee made him the franchise quarterback, they hardly expected an old, ‘washed up’ quarterback to take his place, and lead the team to the best start in franchise history. Okay, so he hasn’t really led them persay, but he’s done everything to get out of that ferocious defense’s way.

Collins has done nothing mind-blowing. In fact he isn’t doing anythig even good. His completion percentage is 27th in the league. When it comes to yards per game, Collins is 28th! So what’s been working? How about an offensive line that has given up just one sack since Collins has taken the field. It’s tops in the league.

The Titans may have beaten the Ravens on Sunday, but they sure looked like the 2000 Ravens on Sunday. That Ravens team, by some considered to be the greatest defense ever, was one of the most dominant units to ever take the field, but its hard to overlook what Tennessee’s relentless D is doing to opposing teams in 08. Okay, so it’s only a sample size (a mere five games) but the Titans are allowing just 11.2 points a game. They’re giving up just 4.2 yards a play, which is good for fourth best in the NFL. Tennessee is fifth in yards allowed.

That team is really good folks. I mean, that defense is really good. But the Titans are doing exactly enough to get the job done week in and week out. And unlike college football, where there are no polls, the Titans are winning, margin of victory be damned.

LCS Coverage from coast to uh, coast
We’ve got you covered with viewpoints from all four cities competing for a chance to win a World Series.

Starting in Tampa Bay, where the Rays expect another dramatic set of games, similar to the ones the two teams played in the regular season, in which the Rays won the season series 10 games to 8. And in case you were wondering, those days of free tickets in Tampa Bay are long over.

We take our act to Boston, where the Red Sox are the new Yankees. People just expect Boston to win now. That’s funny, before 2004, they were dying for a ring. Now, they expect one (every year).

In Los Angeles thank Don Mattingly for the Dodgers resurgence. Well, that Manny fellow is pretty good too.

In the City of Brotherly Love, they’re shifting gears and showing some love to (not Santa silly) Mets management. Without them, none of this could be possible.

Giant Start
The Giants look like the best team in the league right now, and if the playoffs started today, they’d be the favorites to win them all. Wait a minute, the defending champs, looking better then the defending champs? Does that happen? Well, not really, but then again, it’s not often a 10-6 team beats a 16-0 team to win the Super Bowl. So maybe if the Giants go undefeated they’ll get the respect they fell they deserve. Or maybe not.

Arizona and the Woeful west
Finally, we shift our attention to the NFC West where the erratic 3-2 Cardinals lead.

Arizona is the only team with a winning record in the west, and it’s their division to win. Seriously, do you want it? You want it? No. Take it Arizona. And if they beat Dallas (odds are better that one of the presidential candidates will say “that one”) then they should just be handed the crown. But seriously, what is up with Arizona and the west. The NL West was awful, and now the NFC West is following in its undesirable footsteps. Look people, throw us a freaking bone here. Everybody’s looking. Please, you’re embarrassing us.

SCOTT JACOBS

Goodbye laughingstock, hello final four.

If there was ever a doubt that the Tampa Bay Rays were for real, even as we entered the post-season, those doubts have been put to bed. If there was ever a wonder if these baby Rays could hang with the big dogs, those questions were put to rest. If anyone thought this team was a mirage, guess what? They’re still here. The Tampa Bay Rays once upon a time were the team that could only dream of playing post-season baseball. Now, they’re one Red Sox win away from hosting the ALCS.

After an impressive, scrappy series win over the home run happy White Sox, the Rays proved once and for all that they’re for real. And they’ve got another huge thing going for them. They’re from Florida. Once just a crazy efficient stat, there’s now something to this whole Florida teams in the playoffs thing.

Seven for seven.

Florida teams don’t lose in the post-season.

The Marlins christened both of their trips to the postseason with World Series titles, and the Rays look like they may be on their way to keeping that crazy string of Sunshine State success going.

Something in the water or something. Kind of astonishing if you think about it. No state, no pair of franchises has been more successful percentage wise in winning post-season series. Okay, so the Rays are still drinking from the sipee cup considering this is their first go around, but whatever they’re feeding those guys keep it up.

O and there’s this: maybe the Rays are just really good, and that their 97 wins were the true story. They survived a tough AL East to secure the second best record in the AL, and now their young guns are psyching themselves up for the ALCS. 9=’d 8, but today, 9=4, and maybe, just maybe, it equals 1.

Windy Worst Nightmare

And just like that Chicago is wiped right out of the playoffs. The Cubs bowed out quietly to the Dodgers on Saturday in their second consecutive sweep to the NL West winner. The White Sox at least got a win before being punched out by Tampa today. And just like that the dream is dead. South Side. North Side. How about no side? With both teams already out there will be no Chicago party this year. There is however still the possibility of an LA-LAA Fall Classic. When Juiced Sports went to press the Angels had just started game four of their series with the Red Sox.

How about a Dodgers-Phillies NLCS? Well, we’ve got it. The Dodgers hadn’t won a post-season series since 1988, and the Phillies hadn’t done anything in October since 1993, so the NLCS presents a matchup of two playoff success starved teams and it should be a good one. As you may know Philly’s sports teams haven’t won a championship (sorry Arena League doesn’t count) since 1983, a curse commonly known around the city of Brotherly Love as the Curse of William Penn. They haven’t been to the Fall Classic since Joe Carter belted them right into elimination and history in 1993. The Dodgers haven’t been to the Fall Classic in 20 years. Someone’s going to get back there in 2008.

And a Rays-Red Sox ALCS would be bon apetit. It’s about time the Yanks-Sox rivalry takes a back seat. What better matchup then the new rivalry growing between the Sox and Rays. And just sort of a funny fact: if the Red Sox advance to the ALCS, the Rays will have to beat both Sox to make it to the World Series.

Sock it to ‘em Tampa Bay! Beat Sox=Fall Classic? Could be a catchy t-shirt Joe Maddon.

SCOTT JACOBS

The Chicago Cubs coasted to 97 wins, put a great deal of separation between them and the rest of the NL Central, and convincingly rolled to the best record in the National League. Fans, experts, anyone with a voice began chanting, “This is the year. This is when the stars will allign, hell will freeze over, and the Cubs will finally win a championship.”

O Chicago, if it was only so easy.

Wait till next year? Sounds about right, after the Los Angeles Dodgers stunningly pushed the Cubbies to the brink of elimination, obliterating the North Siders in a pair at Wrigley to take a commanding 2-0 lead in this best of five series.

Maybe it’s really not shocking. Maybe we’re just naive buying into the notion that the law of physics says after a century of futility and frustration a team has to be due. These Cubs don’t look elite. And right now, they don’t look like they’re going to fulfill the destiny that their loyal faithful thought they would.

Instead, the last game (probably) played at Wrigley this year was a classic dud. A 10-3 spanking to LA, a team that has just come out of nowhere to not only win the NL West, but to look like a prime contender to win the National League. The baby bears looked liked they didn’t belong as they committed three (count ‘em) THREE errors in the second inning.

Not only did the Cubs drop two to the Dodgers, they dropped two at home, in the friendly (although the spattering of boos didn’t sound so friendly today) confines of Wrigley Field.

The Cubs made four errors on the night but the Dodgers earned this one. They scored on a bunt, they got it done on gapers, and once again Manny Ramirez came through with another long home run. Man, has he been the perfect pickup for a Dodgers team now one win away from their first playoff series win in 20 years! You can say all you want to about C.C. Sabathia, but we might look back when it’s all said and done, and crown Manny as the greatest mid-season pickup of this year. The guy has been brilliant, and the Dodgers have been great since they landed him.

As for the Cubs? Well, they’re once again displaying why regular season success means nothing. There’s a reason so many teams win the World Series as a wild card, or road team. Seeds mean virtually nothing in baseball. When you break it down the four teams are so closely matched for the most part that a Dodgers series victory wouldn’t be monumental.

Devastating to Cubbies fans, yes. But world-breaking, mind blowing, no, not really.

We saw this with Seattle in 2001 when they won 116 games and didn’t even make the World Series. So if the Cubs get knocked out, no one should be amazed. It’s a shame for Chicago if it happens. And it makes you wonder if it will ever happen, but outside of the Windy City it’s just baseball being baseball.

In a five game series anything can happen. Great pitching, timely hitting, good defense, and a relief staff that gets hot at just the right time is what it takes. The Dodgers have it.

I’m starting to believe.

Unfortunately, it’s no longer in the Cubs.