An interesting note on the Umenyiora-to-New England Patriots connection is that before the 2008 Super Bowl, Umenyiora created a fake controversy by accurately explaining that the Patriots offensive lineman Matt Light plays dirty.

Naturally with the two weeks and nothing to talk about before the Super Bowl, the media liked to write stories about how, “A Giants player slammed the Patriots!!!!” and how “The Giants are giving the Patriots ‘bulletin-board material’.” The “bulletin-board” material must not have worked well, because the Patriots ended up losing. I guess their coach Bill Belichick didn’t mention what Umenyiora had said, otherwise the Patriots would have been sufficiently motivated to play for a win in the Super Bowl.

To put into perspective the importance of teams making comments about the other team in order to motivate that team to actually give a damn about winning the Super Bowl, AOL News said at the time:

Look, the issue isn’t if Light’s a dirty player or not, it’s giving the Patriots something — anything — to post on their wall-sized bulletin board.

Big Blue View blog told Umenyiora to shut up (though they didn’t specifically mention the impact his comments would have on motivating the Patriots for a game they otherwise wouldn’t care about). Its true that Unenyiora probably should have shut up, simply because its a classless thing to do to whine about your own failings as a defensive lineman and blame it on the other side playing dirty. But it seems Umenyiora is now (and over the past few years) playing football well enough to join the cheating dirtbags known as the Patriots. Wish him and his mouth good luck where ever he ends up.

SCOTT JACOBS

Get excited Europe, and planet Earth!  The Patriots will be stopping in London next season.

The much hyped London game should be the most intriguing Euopean game yet, staging a most likely healthy and recharged Tom Brady versus a stout Bucs team.  It probably won’t match the points that came with this year’s London shootout, a 37-32 Saints win over the San Diego ‘not so super’ Chargers, but it will nevertheless be an exciting contrast of styles.

London has sold out the past two games at Wembley, getting 83,000 excited fans to pack the building, and many more to sign on waiting lists.  I got blasted back ion October when I bluntly stated that the London experiment was a waste.  Needless to say I was proven wrong.  European football fans are passionate and truly dedicated.  Some fly 6,000 miles, others would pay $6,000.  And for that I commend them.  I find it interesting that all three teams that have been picked for the London game have been from the Southeast United States.  Miami, New Orleans, and now Tampa Bay.  Just interesting I suppose.

But next year’s European tilt should be a good game.  Then again, in the ever-changing NFL landscape where you can beat a 10-0 team on the road one minute, and then lost to a .500 team at home the next, who the heck knows.  But I know one thing is for certain.  London will look forward to this game, and I will never again, bash the European experiment.

For the record, the NFL plans to stage a fourth game in London in 2010.

SCOTT JACOBS

Wow, what a wild week of football. Who would have thought in their wildest dreams that the Patriots would get throttled by the Miami Dolphins at home nonetheless, ending the longest regular season winning streak in NFL history at 21 games. One thing’s crystal clear at this point: it takes a quarterback to win in the NFL, and yesterday Matt Cassel just wasn’t there.

Let’s get this thing rocking.

So, Ronnie Brown what do you have for an encore? After four touchdown runs and a throw to boot (he’s lefty, I never knew that!) Brown cemented himself in football lore becoming the second player in NFL history to throw for a score and run for four more. Who could have known that the answer to Miami’s abysmal offense was a run/handoff option directly snapped to a running back that was lost for much of last year with a tough knee injury? Certainly not New England, which looked absolutley lost trying to defend it. But it wasn’t just Ronnie Brown. Chad Pennington was in a word: brilliant, compiling the best quarterbacked Dolphins game I can remember in recent memory. Pennington was 17-20 for 226 yards and even had a nice little spin away from a defender to get a nifty little first down. All this proves: you don’t have to throw the ball deep to throttle an opponent.

Did we mention Miami’s defense? Because they were great. The Patriots rolled up a pitiful 216 yards of total offense and Miami forced two turnovers, while committing none. The Pats were 4-15 on third down. This much is clear: without Brady the Pats are ordinary, and boring. Kind of like that girl from American Beauty. As for the Dolphins, well it’s just one game, but could they have played a better game? No. They couldn’t do anything wrong, and if you didn’t know better, you would have believed they were the ones coming off of a 16-0 season and a trip to the Super Bowl.

As Miami beat-down the Patriots, the Bills climbed back from a 17-6 hole at home to the Raiders to win 24-23 on a Ryan Lindell 38 yarder. The Bills scored 17 points in the fourt, overcoming a late 9 point deficit with under five minutes to go, and in the process took the lead in the AFC East as they improved to a surprising 3-0. After the Pats pitiful showing at Foxboro yesterday, Buffalo’s resiliency mad a huge early season statement that they are in fact the real deal. The Bills improved to 3-0 for the first time in 16 years! That year, they made the Super Bowl. Is this year going to result in the same?

Meanwhile, the Raiders heartbreaking loss probably spells the end for coach Lane Kiffin. Kiffin was already under fire when reports surfaced that he would be canned last week. But this week, it looks like Kiffin is as good as gone. Not really sure why, considering how well Oakland has played these last two games, but desperate franchises make desperate moves. The youngest coach in the NFL is about to find himself out of a job.

Okay, so you can hold off on the Super Bowl tickets for now Cards fans. Arizona lost a tough one in D.C. to the Redskins 24-17 Sunday, their second loss in a row at Washington. Kurt Warner’s slightly under-thrown pass was basically the difference, as Carlos Rogers picked it and took it back 42 yards. The “what were they thinking play of the game” went to Arizona coach Ken Whisenhut, who inexplicably handed the game over to his defense instead of going for it on 4th and 4 at midfield with less then three minutes to go. If you want to win in this league you have to make bold, brash decisions. Playing it safe, or in this case, stupid, is just ridiculous and asinine. It may or may not have cost Arizona a win, but at least give the team a shot. So no 3-0 for Arizona. 1974 remains the last time the Cardinals won their first three.

Alright, now that we’ve got those fun friends down pat, here’s the skinny on the rest from a frantic week three.

The Giants, Bucs, Jaguars, and aforementioned Bills all won off a game winning field goal Sunday.

For the Giants, it was another clutch performance from Eli Manning, who engineered a beautiful overtime drive to ice Cincinnati’s frustrating 0-3 start. Manning made a perfect throw to Amani Toomer who made a splendid acrobatic catch on the sidelines, and dragged his toes in bounds. That set up a John Carney 22 yarder, and just like that, the Super Bowl champs are off to a flying start at 3-0. As for the Bengals, well it’s getting really ugly now. Once playoff contenders, the Bengals appear doomed back to their losing ways in the season that I believe will be Marvin Lewis’ last.

The Bucs threw the ball – now you may need to re-read this more then once – 67 times on Sunday as they beat the Bears in overtime at Soldier Field. The Bucs, known notoriously for a power running game, and great defense, instead won the game on Brian Griese’s 407 yards passing and two touchdowns. Why 67 times? Because Tampa mustered nothing on the ground, getting just 47 yards from Earnest Graham and Warrick Dunn. Instead, the Bucs won a game in which they committed four turnovers. The most astonishing thing about the whole thing? Griese dropped back to pass 67 times, and was not sacked once! That has to be some sort of a record.

The Colts dropped to a shocking 0-2 at the Oil Dome as karma reared its ugly head on the team that named its stadium based off a company that gives us a product that none of us can afford. But seriously, the Colts are now 1-2 for the first time in a long time, and their September swoon looks kind of serious. The Colts appeared to have this game won, after the Jags failed to convert on a 4th and 1 with under 30 seconds to go, but a pass interference call swung changed everything. On the surface the call looked terrible, but a closer look shows that the defender impeded the receiver’s route and it was indeed a good call. After that, it was all semantics as Josh Scobee nailed a 51 yarder to put the nail in the coffin and secure a 23-21 Jags victory. More impressive was the run Scobee did after the play, running all the way to the endzone to fetch the ball that saved Jacksonville from falling to a shocking 0-3. And because of that…

The Titans now lead the AFC South by two games. Tennessee destroyed a Texans team that had it’s bye week last week because of Hurricane Ike, and this week they looked like they needed a few weeks to prepare for a Tennessee team that is just rolling right now. How good are the Titans right now? They had eight penalties for 75 yards compared to Houston’s two for ten yards, and they still won by 19. Can the Titans be an elite team with ageless Kerry Collins at the helm? It’s too soon to say, but how about that Titan’s D, holding the Texans to 3-15 on third down. Jeff Fisher, your teams never fail to amaze me.

The Falcons are 2-1 and tied for the NFC South lead after beating the lowly Chiefs 38-14. Tyler Thigpen was not the second coming of John Elway, or even Elvis Grbac for that matter, and Kansas City’s fall from relevance continued as the new look Falcons thrashed the Chiefs. Is Atlanta actually good? Their two wins are over the Chiefs and Lions, who are now a combined 0-6! Yikes. But hey, after Atlanta’s miserable year last season, they’ll take any wins they can get. It doesn’t matter who they’re against.

The Seahawks and Vikes, two playoff contenders to start the year, both got on the board yesterday with their first wins. St. Louis on the other hand, looks like it may never win. The Rams have yet to score more then 13 points in a game, and have lost by 35, 28, and 24. If there’s anything positive, it’s that the deficits keep shrinking. Everything else, well is disturbingly negative. And remember Steven Jackson’s big contract extension? Well, he doesn’t look the part right now. St. Louis’ running attack is currently the worst in football, averaging just 56.3 yards a game.

Denver and Baltimore are still perfect. The Broncos held off a hard charging Saints team to improve to 3-0, as Jay Cutler proved that yes, he was indeed the best quarterback in that first round draft class. The Ravens dropped Cleveland 28-10, and it is getting ugly in Browns-ville. The Browns still have four more scheduled national TV games, and they’ve yet to record a win. In fact, the Browns have yet to score more than 10 points! That’s not exactly the formula for winning football as the Browns plunder into the AFC North basement.

Finally, the two participants from last week’s thrilling MNF Showdown both took care of business, as the Eagles held off the Steelers 15-6, and the Boys shredded up the Pack 27-16. I think these are the two best teams in the NFC right now. And Aaron Rodgers got a reality check yesterday, as Dallas sacked him 5 times for a loss of 40 yards total. The honeymoon isn’t over in Green Bay, but it’s clear that Dallas is right now at least, the superior team.

Alas we finish up by asking the question: how does Matt Millen have a &#$%@! job?  The Lions were trashed yesterday 31-13 by the 49ers who all of a sudden, are tied for the NFC West lead.

As for my Monday Night pick: Let’s go with San Diego to get their first win 28-21. 

I decided to nominate the five best teams that I have seen perform since the 1995 season.

There are a few caveats in regard to the list that I comprised.

For one, I focused my list strictly on professional sports teams who participate in the NFL, NBA or MLB.

Secondly, teams that participated from the 1995 season to present day are the only squads eligible to make this list. I selected the 1995 season because it was the first year that Major League Baseball instituted the wild card and because it was the year Michael Jordan returned from his first retirement.

Finally, if a great team won consecutive crowns, they can not make the list twice. For example, the 1995/1996 and 1996/1997 Chicago Bulls teams were both two of the greatest units ever assembled in the annals of professional sports. Nevertheless, only one of those two spectacular squads will be officially chosen for this selection.

Without further adieu, here are my choices for the greatest professional teams since the 1995 season.

1) 1998 New York Yankees- This Yankee juggernaut won an astounding 114 games in comparison to 48 losses in the regular season and they pranced through the postseason with a record of 11-2 en route to wining New York’s 24th championship in team history. In total, the Bombers went a mesmerizing 125-50.

2) 1995/1996 Chicago Bulls- This Michael Jordan-led team dismantled all foes. The Bulls went an NBA record 72-10 in the regular season and 11-3 in the playoffs to win the first leg of their second dominating three-peat in the 90’s.

3) 1999/2000 Los Angeles Lakers- The Lakers won 82 of the 105 games they played in the regular and postseason for the 11th best winning percentage in league history. Shaquille O’Neal in his prime and a young and exuberant Kobe Bryant proved to be too much for the league’s competition.

4) 1998/1999 Denver Broncos- After steamrolling the competition for the first three-quarters of the season, the Broncos stumbled a tad. Nevertheless, John Elway and Terrell Davis helped lead the team to a 14-2 regular season record before the Broncos trounced the overmatched Atlanta Flacons 34-19 in Super Bowl XXXIII to win consecutive Lombardi Trophies.

5) 2003/2004 New England Patriots- After starting a pathetic 0-2, Tom Brady and the Patriots never lost again as they capped a 14-2 regular season with a narrow 32-29 victory over the mediocre Carolina Panthers in Super Bowl XXXVIII.

* Honorable Mentions:

1) 1996/1997 Chicago Bulls- Virtually as dominant as the 1995/1996 Bulls, one of the greatest teams in NBA history.

2) 1999 New York Yankees- Virtually as dominant as the 1998 Yankees, one of the greatest teams in Major League Baseball history.

3) 1999/2000 St. Louis Rams-“The Greatest Show on Turf” fielded one of the most potent offenses in the annals of the NFL.

4) 2001 Arizona Diamondbacks- In a 7 game series, with Randy Johnson and Curt Schilling throwing in the primes of their careers, the Diamondbacks could have beaten any championship team in history.

Naturally, this list is subjective and open for debate. I would enjoy hearing the opinions of others on this topic. Please feel free to chime-in with your two-cents.

The Boston Globe reported last week that New England Patriots offensive lineman Nicholas Kaczur worked as an informant for federal drug agents after he was arrested in New York state on April 27th for possessing approximately 100 Oxycontin pills without a prescription.

Kaczur, who is a cooperating witness according to a federal DEA agent’s court affidavit, purchased a total of $3,900 worth of “hillbilly heroin” while wearing a wiretap on three separate occasions.

Kaczur’s emasculate snitching led to the arrest of Daniel Estrada, a 35-year-old construction worker and father of twins from Saugus, Massachusets.

New England’s muscle upfront is a yellow and gutless swine and his treacherous actions may ultimately create more harm than good for himself.

“Let’s just say if I was a life insurance salesman, I wouldn’t find him to be an incredibly good risk,” said Boston College Law Professor Robert M. Bloom, an expert of the governments use of informants. “Personal safety depends on how big of an operation it was.”

Michael Levine, a former inspector of DEA Field Operations, agreed that the Patsies stool pigeon could be in a precarious position.

“Anytime you reveal publicly someone’s been an informant you expose him to danger,” said Levine. “The danger could be from anyone he’s targeted.”

As the adage goes, “if you can’t do the time, don’t do the crime.” Obviously, Kaczur didn’t heed that proverb and because of his loose-tongue another Boston Massacre could be nearing.

Arlen Specter, who was observing meetings between Matt Walsh and Roger Goodell, says that Goodell is setting a terrible precedent by letting the Patriots get away with cheating.

“If you can cheat in the NFL, you can cheat in college, you can cheat in high school, you can cheat on your grade-school math test,” he said.

Specter is actually 100% correct. Some of my friends cheated in high school a few years ago and got detention for a month, so it is true that you can cheat in high school.

I’m not sure if you can cheat in grade-school, though, but Specter will probably impart on an intensive investigation of the topic.

Specter has no qualms about bias with his investigations. He admitts himself that he is driven by his constituents support for the Steelers, whom the Patriots defeated in the playoffs in 2005:

“I’m elected by 12 million people, and a lot of them are Steeler fans. … Frankly I’m incensed about what happened with the Steelers.”

As a Cavs fan, I’m hoping my Senater, the honorable George Voinovich, does his patriotic duty and starts an investigation against the Spurs.

Specter should also investigate Barry Bonds. If you can cheat in baseball, I think you might be able to cheat in grade school.

I’m sure Bonds has hit some big home runs against the Phillies at some time during his career and possibly been responsible for defeating the Phillies. His constituents deserve to know why someone was allowed to cheat to beat their team.

It’s going to be interesting to see how Barack Obama responds to Specter’s investigation. Obama is trying to gain some ground among working class “bitter” white people, and I’m sure a lot of white Pennslyvanians are bitter about what happened to the Steelers and Eagles. In fact, maybe Obama will start wearing a Steelers lapel pin.

I thank you for your time and I hope that I am able to entertain you with my vantages on the week that was in sports.

CHIEN-MING WANG
New York Yankees ace Chien-Ming Wang (5-0) recorded his 50th career victory last Tuesday night to become the fastest pitcher to reach that plateau since Dwight Gooden accomplished the same feat in only 85 starts in 1986. Because Wang, 28, is not an electric strikeout pitcher, he is taken for granted and he is not universally renowned as one of the games best hurlers. In essence, Wang, who finished second in the Cy Young award voting in 2006 and third in its voting last year, is the Rodney Dangerfield of Major League Baseball starters. If fans and observers don’t begin to recognize his vast talent and production, Wang may “get no respect” all the way to Monument Park or, gasp, the Hall of Fame.

PHIL HUGHES
Yankees rookie right-hander Phil Hughes (0-3, 8.82) was removed from his start Thursday night in Chicago against the White Sox after only 2 innings because of a 45-minute rain delay. The pampering that the precocious Hughes is receiving from New York’s hierarchy is frustrating and downright wrong. It shouldn’t matter if Hughes, 21, is the Golden Boy of the Bombers farm system. It is time to put Hughes’ ear against the proverbial stove and force him to show his critics what he has. As the wily and sage Bill Parcells once said, “the easiest way to get a player hurt is to try and keep him healthy.” The Bomber’s brass should heed the words of the “Big Tuna.” Yankees Manager Joe Girardi needs to take the kid gloves off of Hughes and let him throw without the rigid pitch-counts that have been imposed upon the youngster. If they don’t, Hughes’ disastrous start will continue and pundits will look back at this season and consider him the “Big Goat.”

MATT WALSH
Former New England Patriots video employee Matt Walsh reached an agreement with the NFL last week that will provide him with legal protection and he will meet with league Comissioner Roger Goodell on May the 13th to discuss the Patriots illicit spying practices.

“Today, Mr. Walsh and the National Football League reached an agreement under which the NFL will provide legal indemnification and a release of claims against Mr. Walsh relating to his employment by the Patriots and the Patriots’ videotaping operations,” said Walsh’s lawyer, Michael Levy of McKee Nelson LLP. “I am pleased that we now have an agreement that provides Mr. Walsh with appropriate legal protections. Mr. Walsh is looking forward to providing the NFL with the materials he has and telling the NFL what he knows.”

Fans of New England act like Chanel 5 comes out of Patriots Head Coach Bill Belichick’s ass and they are confident that Walsh’s meeting with Goodell will finally and mercifully conclude the scandalous fiasco known as “Spygate.” I can’t fathom that will be the case. Walsh would have to be a publicity-craving lunatic to bring nary a new piece of evidence to the table when he meets the NFL’s head honcho next month. If and when Walsh supplies Goodell with fresh documentation regarding the Patsies nefarious sideline activities, expect the commisioner to levy a season-long suspension of the hooded fashion-plate and anticipate Dom Capers to be the man running the show in Foxboro come September.

ROGER CLEMENS
The New York Daily News reported yesterday that notorious juice-head Roger Clemens had a decade-long affair with country singer Mindy McCready that began when McCready was a 15-year-old aspiring singer and Clemens was a 28-year-old father of two. So, circumstantial proof now indicates that Clemens cheated on both the game of baseball and his wife of 24-years. It genuinely would be nice to see the Rocket launched all the way to Guantanamo Bay.

I thank you again for giving me some of your time. Without your readership, I’d have absolutely zero reason to write.

• I thank you all for taking the time to provide me with some of your time. I hope I am able to entertain with my rapid take on the past week in the world of sports.

• Since the 2004 season, the Boston Red Sox have had the rare decided edge in their rivalry with the New York Yankees. Last year, a major piece to the Sox championship success was their late-innings relievers and their dynamic closer, Jonathan Papelbon. Because Papelbon, 27, has thrived in his first two All-Star-caliber seasons in the majors, he recently claimed that he is at the top of his profession and his contract should been indicative of his status as the game’s best out of the bullpen.

“I feel a certain obligation to not only myself and my family to make the money I deserve but for the game of baseball – I mean, Mariano Rivera has been doing it for the past 10 years,” said Papelbon. “With me coming up behind him, I feel a certain obligation to do the same. And, yeah, I’m at the mercy of the club right now to a certain extent. But you know, it’s just a matter of ironing out the numbers and we haven’t ironed them out yet. Hopefully we can get a mutual agreement.”

There is no argument that Papelbon is a great talent and he likely is in fact the best closer in the game at this particular juncture. But, make no mistake, he has some brass and audacity to even place his name next to the best closer in the history of the sport of baseball. When the Yankees whirlwind pitcher began dominating the sport in 1995, Papelbon was a 14 year old kid from Louisiana probably masturbating to the female cast (I hope) of Friends. Papelbon has been excellent since being called-up in 2005 and I am sure that he will excel in his profession for years to come. But, to date, his resume exhibits one good postseason and one homoerotic “riverdance” performance that New Englanders have come to cherish. Say what you will, but that pedigree sounds just a tad underwhelming in comparison to the Sandman’s and Papelbon needs to stop going “off to never never land.”

• Within the past week alone, New York Yankees owner Hank Steinbrenner has sparred verbally with persons within the Boston Red Sox and Tama Bay Rays organizations. Don’t get me wrong, I am an enormous supporter of the brazen chain-smoker and his candid bluster. But, sometimes enough yammering is enough yammering. Hankenstein needs to become more selective when it comes to deciding what battles he wants to wage. As Proposition Joe Stewart once said on HBO’s the Wire, “You stir up a bees nest, there ain’t no tellin’ who’s gonna get stung.” Pick and choose your battles with wise selection, Hank. Pick and choose.

• The New York Jets have spent like Eliot Spitzer on whores so far this off-season and their splurge has agitated a number of Jets veteran players who feel like they should be compensated before newcomers to the team are. Are the fumes and toxins from the Jersey swamps officially getting to the men from East Rutherford or what? The Jets went 4-12 last season and they have been among the worst teams in the NFL in two of the past three seasons. So, how can these traditional losers have the moxie to bellyache about anything? When your record stands at 18-30 since 2005, you should shut your mouth and express gratitude for even maintaining employment. Like usual, the Gang Green roster seems to be diseased.

• It was nice to see Boston Mayor Thomas Michael Menino attend the 107th annual St. Patrick’s Day Parade in South Boston Sunday. After all, his premature parade arrangements for the New England Patriots Super Bowl championship did not exactly materialize seamlessly.

• Now that the Los Angeles Lakers are back among the NBA’s elite, one needs to wonder if their whiny superstar, Kobe Bryant, still wants General Manager Mitch Kupchak’s balls in a vice.

• Unknown professional golfer Tripp Isenhour was charged with cruelty to animals last week after killing a red-shouldered hawk because of noises the bird was making while he was filming his “Shoot like a Pro” instructional video. According to witnesses, Isenhour began driving balls towards the hawk in an attempt to get it to fly off into the sky. After firing off approximately nine-shots, Isenhour drove a ball that struck the hawk in the side of the head causing the bird to fall 75-feet to the ground. The hawk bled from both nostrils as it lay on the golf course dying. Granted, like Isenhour said, it was likely a “one-in-a-million” shot that he couldn’t replicate if he tried. Nevertheless, I kind of wish Alfred Hitchcock’s movie the Bird’s came to truth during that one moment. Now, that would be “one-in-a-million.”

• Thanks again for reading my work. Without your readership, I’d have zero reason to write.

Eric Deters has tried more civil jury trial than any lawyer in Northern Kentucky.

Eric Deters has been described as: a fighter, passionate, aggressive, reasonable, tenacious and hard working.

Eric Deters is one of the lawyers representing one former Rams player and three fans who are suing the Patriots for cheating in the 2002 Super Bowl.

One thing Eric Deters did say on his website that I’m sure no one would disagree with is this:
“I’m never too busy to take a new case!”

(Profile Here)

One would think that if you have enough time to represent a few disgruntled fans and a no name player (his name is Willie Gary) that you would not be very busy.

Funny, because it seems that he would be pretty busy from all the cases he has to do to have tried more cases than any other lawyer in Northern Kentucky. (How he got to trying a case about the Pats I have no idea, because it say that he has only been licensed to practice law in Kentucky, Ohio and Florida.)

He listed 23 types of cases he accepts. No where does it say “Sports Cheating.” It doesn’t list “Wrongful Loss” either. Maybe this would fall under “Consumer Fraud,” or “Fraud of Any Kind?” If it doesn’t fit any of those, I suppose it could be lumped in under “General Litigation.”

As it turns out, the lawsuit was filed under fraud, unfair trade practices, and engaging in a ”pattern of racketeering.” Deters was hoping to turn it into a class-action suit for anyone who purchased a Super Bowl ticket, and all members of the Rams staff.

For the good of the country, Deters has now withdrawn the case. He called it an “exercise in futility,” claiming that Matt Walsh, accused of taping the Rams’ practices, would exercise his right against self-incrimination, or, in more universal terms, he would plead the fizith!

But, Deters says he isn’t giving up: ”We’re not giving up on the case. We just want to back off and see what he has to say before we make a move.”

In the meantime, Deters plans on taking up a case against Indiana University for their recruiting violations.*
(*NOTE: Deters isn’t really suing Indiana University. This is simply a joke, mocking the fact that he sued the Patriots for cheating.)

Interestingly, Eric Deters didn’t seem prideful enough in his case against the Patriots to list is as one of his “high profile newsworthy cases” even though it is one of his most newsworthy cases yet.

Eric Deters does have past experience messing with athletes, as he sued Chad Johnson for a raffle fraud (though that one actually had merit behind it).

This, my friends, is Eric Deters:

He does things for the people, not for the publicity.

You can email him your thanks here.

• I thank you all for giving me some of your time. I hope I am able to entertain everyone with my rapid thoughts on the past few days in the world of sports.

• Kelvin Sampson, a mental-gimp who is a notorious and talentless repeat-cheater, resigned as Head Coach of the Indiana University men’s basketball team Friday night after agreeing to a $750,000 buyout of his contract. In the interim, Dan Dakich will assume coaching responsibilities and attempt to lead the Hoosiers (22-4) to their first championship since 1987. Despite the Hoosiers great success on the hardwood to date, this has been the darkest season in the storied and pristine history of the program and jettisoning the worthless Sampson should be considered as steps to a renaissance for the Assembly Hall faithful. Indiana doesn’t necessarily need Coach Norman Dale. But, they do need someone and I’d rather have Delilah than Sampson.

• IBO and IBF Heavyweight Champion Wladimir Klitschko (50-3), 31, defeated an underwhelming Sultan Ibragimov (22-1-1), 32, via unanimous decision to gain Ibragimov’s WBO crown in a boring and lackluster fight at Madison Square Garden Saturday night. Despite the hideous display of pugilism, Klitschko got closer to becoming the first unified heavyweight champion in nearly two-decades and anything he does henceforth I will handle with kid gloves (pun intended). Klitschko may not be akin to the menacing Russian Ivan Drago. But, there are no Rocky Balboa’s in this once glamorous division and, at this point, “Dr. Steelhammer” is acceptable and simply as good as it gets.

• William Gary, an undrafted rookie who played for the 2001 St. Louis Rams in their 20-17 upset-loss to the New England Patriots in Super Bowl XXXVI, has filed a $100 million lawsuit with others against the team from Foxboro in retaliation to reports that the Patriots illegally filmed the Rams walk-through prior to the game. Gary’s mindless lawsuit is the most asinine attempt to extort money since Cosmo Kramer and his lawyer, Jackie Chiles, sued Java World for brewing “hot” coffee that eventually burned the eccentric Seinfeld character. If Gary’s case is not immediately dismissed as baseless, our legal system is in utter disarray.

• I am virtually positive that I know what candidate I am going to vote for in the 2008 Presidential Election. But, if Senator Arlen Specter (R-PA) unexpectedly and belatedly threw his name into the mix, I’d have to revise my choice.

• The New England Patriots (18-1*) were a collection of unlikable players in the 2007 season. Within a span of one year, they were caught cheating. Their “Golden-Boy” quarterback, Tom Brady, had a child out-of-wedlock while he was fornicating with a Brazilian supermodel. One of their stars on defense and the dirtiest player in the entire league, safety Rodney Harrison, 34, tested positive for performance enhancing drugs. Their polarizing jackass of a wide receiver, Randy Moss, was accused by a woman of battery. Finally, to put a neat-bow on the crew of miscreants, their sunny and classless Head Coach, Bill Belichick, decided to vacate the field before time expired in their 17-14 Super Bowl loss to the New York football Giants.

Nevertheless, all is not evil and bad. Sometimes one just needs to look more closely to find the good in something or someone. Thanks to the Patsies timely demise, thousands upon thousands of unsold hats and shirts with the slogans “19-0″ and “Patriots Super Bowl Champions” were donated to a charity that shipped the comedic merchandise to an impoverished Central American country this past week. See, there is light everywhere in a world that sometimes seems dark and unforgiving. Just ask the poor Nicaraguan children who are now unwittingly the newest members of Patriot Nation.

• PLEASE DO NOT READ THE FOLLOWING IF YOU ARE YET TO WATCH EPISODE 58 OF HBO’S CRITICALLY ACCLAIMED DRAMA THE WIRE.

One of the greatest characters in the annals of modern television was murdered last Sunday night by a psychotic, cat-torturing 13-year-old. Omar Devon Little, 34, a homosexual stick-up artist beloved by alpha-males everywhere, died instantly after receiving a single gunshot wound to the head in a Korean convenience store. “Oh, indeed,” Little’s unique and disciplined “code” and his engaging screen presence will forever be missed. As the facially-scarred gunmen once said, “You come at the king, you best not miss.” Omar never missed and he will always be a king to fans of the Wire. Rest-in-peace, Mr. Little.

• Thanks again for reading my material. Without your readership, I’d have absolutely zero reason to write.