• Former Atlanta Braves relief pitcher John Rocker, a village idiot who alienated the city of New York with his racist and homophobic comments, became the latest outcast to finger New York Yankees superstar Alex Rodriguez as an abuser of steroids. On Monday, the obnoxious hick from Georgia claimed that in spring training of 2002 a doctor hired by the Major League Baseball Players Association instructed him and his then Texas Rangers teammate on how to juice-up in a way that is “not going to hurt you.” This is the second time since December that A-Post-Season-Out has been accused of utilizing synthetic testosterone. In the immediate aftermath of the Mitchell Report, Jose Canseco, a dishonorable speaker of truth, said he was flabbergasted that A-Rod wasn’t among the 83 names mentioned in the Director of the Boston Red Sox investigation into performance enhancing drugs.

“All I can say is the Mitchell Report is incomplete,” Canseco said. “I could not believe that (Rodriguez’s) name was not in the report.”

As mind-numbing as it is, in this distorted day and steroid age, Canseco is baseball’s answer to “Honest” Abe Lincoln and if he says the purple-lipped pariah took a banned substance then he likely did.

• Generally, I am not a conspiracy theorist. After reading Gerald Posner’s book “Cased Closed,” I think Lee Harvey Oswald was Jack Kennedy’s lone murderer that terrible afternoon in Dallas, Texas. I am also not a member of the “9-11 Truth Movement.” I think 19 members of Al Qaeda commandeered 4 commercial aircrafts on 9/11/2001 and that’s that. But, with A-Rod’s conspicuous omission from Mitchell’s report, I wonder if a conspiracy is not in our midst. Can one not fathom Major League Baseball Commissioner Bud Selig politely asking his investigator to keep his paws off the heir apparent to his sports all-time home-run crown? Rodriguez, who has 518 round-trippers at 32 years of age, will likely surpass Barry Bonds, the face of steroids, and his 762 lifetime dingers somewhere in the vicinity of the year 2012. Selig needs a dirty Rodriguez as much as he needs a case of herpes and I am confident that he’ll go to great lengths to keep A-Rod’s drug results cleaner than Danny Tanner’s kitchen floor.

• By the way, for those keeping record at home, the Red Sox mediocre pitcher, Daisuke Matsuzaka, has recorded more postseason RBI’s (2) than A-Rod has since game four of the 2004 ALCS. Rodriguez has one RBI since that timeframe.

• Wednesday on Capitol Hill, tarnished baseball icon Roger Clemens exhibited the least impressive performance in a court of law since Stanley Rothenstein’s public defender graced us with his stuttering-self in “My Cousin Vinny.” Under oath, rogue trainer Brian McNamee said he injected Andy Pettitte with human growth hormone and, when pressed, the lefty-ace acknowledged that McNamee was being straightforward with his account. After having his ear placed against the proverbial stove, McNamee revealed that he also injected Clemens better-half, Debbie, with HGH and the pitcher’s wife reluctantly admitted that McNamee was speaking with candor. Are we truly to believe that McNamee is lying solely regarding his accusations towards Clemens? I think not. Clemens is a disgraceful excuse for a husband, friend and ballplayer.

• Since its Valentine’s Day, one needs to wonder what Knicks owner James Dolan and his Head Coach Isiah Thomas have planned for the night. I’ll bet they are going to share a bath in a heart-shaped tub and listen to the sexual melodies of Marvin Gaye from a Bose sound system.

• Genuine thanks to you all for giving me some of your time. I hope I am able to entertain you with my rapid take on the week that was in the world of sports.

• Tarnished baseball legend Roger Clemens and controversial trainer Brian McNamee met with congressional investigators this past week in preparation for their February 13th hearing on steroids in front of the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform. Clemens and McNamee have conducted an intense smear campaign against one another designed to discredit and slander the other man’s word before Wednesday’s much-anticipated testimonials. To date, McNamee has dominated the mudslinging war by providing the feds with vials that allegedly contain traces of steroids and human growth hormone, as well as blood-stained syringes and gauze pads that purportedly contain Clemens DNA. For good measure, McNamee reportedly told investigators that he also injected Clemens better-half, Debbie, with HGH before she posed in a bikini alongside her portly husband for a 2003 Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition photograph. McNamee preserving the noted evidence could simultaneously be the sketchiest and most pertinent proof since Monica Lewinsky revealed her semen-stained dress and it may be the smoking gun that lands Clemens in a “Federal pound-me-in-the-ass prison.” On the positive side for “the Rocket,” he recently shed his frost-tip haircut. That bodes well for the notorious headhunter because such manes are likely very popular behind bars.

• Robert Montgomery Knight, 67, resigned this past week as the Head Coach of Texas Tech University. Knight, who quit on his team with the most career coaching wins in NCAA Division I history (902-371), is renowned for running clean programs (not one of his squads was ever sanctioned for recruiting violations) and graduating the large majority of his players. Regardless of his vast pedigree on the sideline, Knight is a miserable bully whose accomplishments are dwarfed by his hideous behavior and treatment of others. Knight’s callous and offensive statements and actions are innumerable. While coaching the U.S. team at the 1979 Pan American Games, Knight assaulted a Puerto Rican police officer over a dispute regarding a practice facility. In 1993, he kicked his own son Pat in the huddle of a game at Assembly Hall in Indiana leading the Hoosier faithful to jeer their inexplicable “hero.” In an April 1988 interview with Connie Chung, Knight said “I think if rape is inevitable, relax and enjoy it.” The mentioned is a very, very brief exemplification of the malevolent individual that Knight really is. Bobby Knight was a great basketball coach. Bobby Knight never was and he never will be a good man. As Kent Harvey said when he was an IU freshman, “Hey, Knight. What’s up?” Luckily for the world of collegiate athletics, “the General” no longer is.

• University of Illinois athletic officials apologized for their fans behavior Thursday night in an 83-79 double overtime loss to arch-rival and 14th-ranked Indiana (19-3, 8-1) and their superstar turncoat Eric Gordon, 19. Gordon, a freshman guard who reneged on a verbal commitment to play for the Illini in late-2005, endured some of the vilest treatment since William Wallace meet his English executioners toward the end of Braveheart. Despite the hostile road environment and his shoddy play early, Gordon scored 18 second-half points to lead the Hoosiers to a colossal Big Ten victory. A crucial win like this is yet another reason to believe that the month of March will be very kind to the Hoosiers and don’t be surprised if Kelvin Sampson’s crew is singing “One Shining Moment” come April.

• Former WBO Heavyweight Champion Tommy “the Duke” Morrison (47-3-1), 39, who tested positive for the HIV virus in 1996, is scheduled to fight Matt Weishaar Saturday night on a Top Rank-promoted pay-per-view card in Leon, Mexico. The Association of Boxing Commissions is urging Top Rank matchmaker Bruce Trampler to mandate a blood test despite the fact that Mexico does not require them for fighters. The deadly HIV virus, which can not be cured, is transmitted via infected blood, semen and vaginal fluid. Boxing is a blood sport. No matter how minimal the chances are of acquiring the HIV virus in the ring, it is categorically insane to even contemplate putting the Rocky V star in a bout.

• The Miami Heat sent iconic center Shaquille O’Neal, 35, to the Phoenix Suns this week in exchange for 4-time all star forward Shawn Marion, 29, and Marcus Banks. Many hardwood pundits think that the Suns banged the pooch with their decision to acquire the aging and fragile big man. I am not one of those pundits. Granted, the Phoenix Suns have been one of the elite teams in the NBA for years and their fast-paced offense is a thing of beautiful production. But, they have never been able to get over the proverbial hump and there is nothing to indicate that they would have this year without making a transaction of some genuine magnitude. The acquisition of Shaq will grant Amare Stoudemire with great protection down-low and I believe the Suns, being led by two-time MVP playmaker Steve Nash, will create serious match-up issues for every team that they meet from this point on. The Suns couldn’t win it all without Shaq. Now we’ll find out if Phoenix will rise to championship glory with Superman on its side.

• New York Knicks guard Stephon Marbury, 30, will miss the remainder of the season because of complications he’s encountered from ankle surgery he underwent 3-weeks ago. With Marbury on the sideline indefinitely, the Knickerbockers quest for a championship is in grave jeopardy. Ha!!

• After drinking like Mickey Rourke’s character in Barfly, my friends and I began to discuss the male soap opera that was formerly known as the WWF. During the bender, a fascinating question was broached by my friend, Latroy. Latroy wondered who was the most prominent and important grappler among the trio of “Rowdy” Roddy Piper, “Macho Man” Randy Savage and the “Nature Boy” Ric Flair. I entirely realize that I’m probably going to get a great deal of flack on my comment board for writing about a topic that many find to be such a reprehensible waste. But, if there is anyone with love for 80’s squared circle action, your feedback would be appreciated.

• Thanks again for providing me with some of your time. Without your readership, I’d have no reason to write.