SCOTT JACOBS

So you had the Dolphins winning 10 games this year right?  Ya, me too!

Well, we’re six bowls games in, and JSB is just 3-3, losing all three contests by a combined 9 points!  Boise State, Troy, and Fresno State are all getting coal in their stockings this year.

So the Lions have finished playing their home slate of games for 2008.  But you don’t have to wait too long if you want to see more mediocre football at Ford Field: Central Michigan and Florida Atlantic play there in the Motor City Bowl on Friday.

NBC opted to flex the Broncos-Chargers game to primetime, over Chad Pennington’s return to New York (ahem, New Jersey) with the greatest single season turnaround in NFL history on the line? Look, Miami hasn’t played a lot of great teams this year, and they’re not exactly a star studded squad, but c’om, the Chargers at 7-8!  Since when did the bowl system follow up into the pro ranks?

The Celtics have won 19 in a row, are 27-2, and boast the best two loss record in NBA history. But who cares about that!  Is LeBron James leaving Cleveland or not?  C’mon LeBron we know you know.

Coming in 2010: NBA Free Agency, the True story of fake rumors.  Producer: Jerry Bruckheimer.  Starring: Will Ferrel and Tom Cruise.  Don’t ask, don’t tell, don’t worry about the present is rumored to be the movie’s slogan.

Speaking of 2010, who needs to play the 2009 Super Bowl?  Why not just move on to Miami, where the 2010 game will be played.

Wonder what Joe the Plumber is doing for the holidays?  Ya, me neither.

So did you hear the news?  The Coyotes are pretty much broke.  Apparently they don’t make any money on parking at their arena, Jobing.com. In fact, they actually have to pay about $2 million out of their pockets. Sounds like they got jobbed when they agreed to that stupid deal.

Hey it’s that time of the year: the time for giving?  Nah, it’s the time for Brett Favre rumors.  Will he come back, will he retire, or will he continue advertising with Wrangler?  Check back sometime in June.  The Jets seemingly checked out last week.

Capital One Bowl Week: Catch it… go outside and do something with your life.

Got to love Sports Illustrated!  You know what they put on their end of the year cover?  One of the rescued dogs from Bad Newz Kennels. SI really did it this time.  How can you possibly put the SI jinx on anything that’s already been touched by Mike Vick?  Exactly, you can’t!

Anyone find the timing ironic?  Rookie Matt Ryan leads the Falcons to a stunning wildcard berth, and Mike Vick’s dogs still get top billing.  What does a once in a decade rookie QB have to do to get some love around here?

Favorite quote of the week if not the month: “They are on a completely different economic playing field,” Brewers owner Mark Attanasio said today of the New York Yankees. “I paid $220 million for my team; now they get three players for $420 million.”  I guess they shopped the discount rack.

Wes Welker was fined $10,000 for making a snow angel in New England’s trouncing of Arizzzzzzzzzzzzz…ona.  In unrelated news, the NFL cancelled Christmas.

Have a safe, happy, and healthy holidays everybody.

SCOTT JACOBS

Okay, so they’re not going to Disneyworld. Well, not yet at least, but Tampa Bay is going to the World Series after holding off the pesky World Champion Red Sox in a thrilling game seven. It lived up to the billing, this game lived up the hype, and when it was said and done, the Red Sox had their heads down, and the Rays had their head doused. O what a series. What a night. What an amazing underdog story for the ages.

Bottom of the 7th
Willie Aybar crushes a towering home run off of John Lester, and the Rays extend their lead to 3-1. Aybar has scored two out of Tampa Bay’s three runs tonight. What an unlikely hero he has been.

Top of the 8th inning
Garza is cruising along when a routine ground ball skips off of Jason Bartlett’s wrist, and into the outfield. That’s it for Garza who was brilliant tonight, throwing 118 pitches and striking out nine. Truly the game of a lifetime for Garza, who was acquired in that incredible off-season trade for him and Bartlett. The Twins got Delmon Young. Safe to say that the Rays are happy right now with that trade. Garza allowed just two hits in his seven innings and was simply brilliant.

Man on first, no outs, you can feel the tension at the Trop.

Enter Dan Wheeler. Can he seal the deal? Here we go!

Coco Crisp quicky gets a base hit and now there’s two on with no outs. Do the Red Sox haveanother comeback in them? Because they’re going to need it. And how fitting that they have to overcome a 3-1 deficit, to finish off their unlikely 3-1 series comeback. Wheeler throws it into the dirt to Dustin Pedroia, who hit a home run in the first, Boston’s only run of the game to date, and the Red Sox are building something potentially big here.

1-1 count, and Pedroia pops out. Boy he just missed that one. Middle of the plate, just got under it. That’s all for Wheeler.

J.P. Howell will take the mound for the Rays. He comes in to face the struggling David Ortiz, who has really disappeared in this series with the exception of that game five homer. Ortiz hits the ball on the ground, and the Rays just get Crisp, who was trying to break up a potential double play, instead of trying to get into second. Tough break for Boston, and now there’s two outs.

Rays are now four outs from the World Series.

Crisp really should have gone for the bag there.

The Rays will bring in their fourth pitcher of the night, Chad Bradford. Bradford throws three straight balls to open the count, and after a few strikes, walks Kevin Youkilis. What a game so far. Boston has just three hits on the night, but a fourth one will tie this game up.

Bases loaded and the Rays are bringing in the rookie, David Price. What a gutsy call bringing in the rookie with the season on the line.

Price made his debut at Yankee Stadium on September 14th, surrendering just 3 hits and 2 runs in 5 plus innings against New York, but this is different. He can’t afford to allow anything here.

Price comes in and throws a strike to J.D. Drew. Crowd on their feet, an AL pennant hanging in the balance. Strike two. Price misse, ball one. The crowd is going to pee themselves in excitement if he gets Drew here. Price pitches, and strike three. He struck him out! What a pitch, a little low, but Drew couldn’t check his swing, and Price gets out of the jam.

Tampa Bay is three outs away from the World Series.

Bottom of the ninth
Tampa Bay was retired in order in the top of the ninth, and here we are: 3-1, three outs away from the most improbable AL champs in a very long time. Price will pitch the ninth folks. What an unbelievable story this kid has been. He went 12-1 in the minors, and now he’s on the big stage with the chance to deliver an AL pennant to Tampa Bay.

Do the Red Sox have one last miracle in them? Cause they’ll need it if they want to continue defending their championship.

Bay, Kotsay, and Varitez due up in the ninth.

And how fitting is it that the Price, Tampa Bay’s number one pick in 2007, gets the ball with the chance to send this young, historically awful franchise to the Fall Classic.

The count is full, and Price throws a ball. Bay is on quickly in the ninth. The Red Sox have a man on with no out, and the tying run steps to the plate. Price has to be a little nervous. He’s never had a save in his life, never-mind the chance to win a game seven.

Mark Kotsay steps to the plate, and he bunts? Kind of odd decision there. 2-2 count, and Price strikes him out! Outside corner what a pitch by the rookie. Two outs away from the World Series are the Tampa Bay Rays. A double play could end Boston’s title defense here.

Here comes Varitek, who has really struggled this post-season. Starts off 1-1. Fouls it off, 1-2 count. Price needs one more. Throws it high, 2-2. Red Sox really need baserunners here. Price delivers and he struck him out! Are you kidding me? This kid has ice in his veins. Price has struck out two since walking Bay.

Rays are one out away from the Fall Classic.

Aybar is going crazy in the dugout.

Up comes Jed Lowrie. Strike one. The Trop is going nuts right now. Cowbells banging like crazy, this atmosphere is awesome. Ground ball to second, Iwamura’s got it. Rays win, Rays win!

They’re going to the World Series.

9=AL Champs! The World Series is set. The slipper fits. The Rays are going to the World Series! What a performance from Price. Simply unbelievable inning and a third from this kid. Clutch as clutch can be.

Scott Kazmir was the winning pitcher in the All Star Game, that wild and whacky 15 inning thriller, and because of it, Tampa Bay will host the World Series. Not surprisingly Matt Garza is the ALCS MVP. 2-0 with a 1.38 E.R.A, what a series he had.

And inexplicably Garza curses “s*** I’ll take it.”

Eh, it’s TBS. We’ll let it slide.

But holy s*** the Rays are going to the Fall Classic.

There’s a new kingpin in the American League. And it’s no longer the Boston Red Sox.

What a game. What a series. What a night for baseball.

SCOTT JACOBS

After it was announced that Washington, D.C. and Tampa Bay would be awarded two new bowl games for the 2008 college football season, the good folks at Juiced Sports got curious, and began snooping around. We decided that enough was enough. Rather than bash these crazy number of bowl games, why not find out how the other side thinks: the people behind these bowl games. Maybe they had a logical explanation for why the ACC needs nine teams selected for bowl games, or if this bowl bonanza would ever end. So we tracked down the EagleBank Bowl, the first bowl game ever in Washington D.C. and asked them some questions. Not surprisngly they were very safe in their answers. But their perspective was rather interesting. We present to you the interview in its entirety. You can come to your own conclusions. Comments much appreciated.

Juiced Sports Blog: How does the bowl process work? How does a bowl game get started. Who provides the money? How does the NCAA decide whose bowl game should be sanctioned and whose shouldn’t?

Marie Rudolph: There’s a process by which the NCAA reviews prospective cities holding bowl games. You need a two million dollar letter of credit in addition to other things. You need a stadium (a place to play the game). There are minimum requirements: the NCAA would not let a high school stadium host a bowl game.

JSB: Originally Washington D.C.’s first bowl game was to be called the Congressional Bowl. Now, it’s the EagleBank Bowl. How does a sponsorship come about? Does the bowl game go to the sponsor? Does the sponsor submit a proposal to the bowl game?

MR: It happens both ways. It really happens either way. In our instance we were actively seeking sponsors. We have individuals who are seeking sponsors on behalf of the bowl game. EagleBank was one that came to the bowl game and we proceeded that way.

JSB: The way the EagleBank bowl is set up, is for Navy (If they win 6 games, which it looks like they will) to play the ninth selected team from the ACC. A couple questions: First, how did the EagleBank Bowl committee decide on conference affiliations for the game, and second, how long does it take for these affiliations to be approved?

MR: The approval of who plays in the game is done at the same time as when the NCAA considers the bowl application. The ACC tie in made a lot of sense because we are almost right in the middle of the geographic footprint of the ACC.

“As long as teams are bowl eligible there will hopefully be a bowl to host them”

JSB: Many people have asked: why does the ACC’s ninth selected team (in a 12 team conference) deserve a spot in a bowl game? They argue that these bowl games are rewarding mediocrity. What would the EagleBank Bowl say to that?

MR: I would look at it a different way. The university, their team, their fans appreciate the opportunity to play in these post-season games. The economic benefits to the communities where the bowl games are held are substantial. However, I understand those fans that hold the opinion that you shared, but for us we think of it in a different way.

JSB: Do you think this trend of adding new bowl games practically every year will end any time soon? Or, looking down the line, will there be 60 bowls in ten years? Where will it end?

MR: Well, I’m not in a position to speculate what the NCAA will do. As long as teams are bowl eligible there will hopefully be a bowl to host them.

JSB: This question gets thrown around a lot: Why isn’t there a playoff system? As a member of the Bowl Committee for D.C. would you guys support a playoff system or would that end the current bowl system as we know it?

MR: To be honest I wouldn’t want to speculate on that right now. We’re focused exclusively on our inaugural bowl game and I don’t want to speculate on that right now.

JSB: The game is set to be played December 20^th at RFK Stadium. Why RFK? And how does a date get picked for the games. They seem to change every year.

MR: The date for our game really came down to this being our inaugural year. There are some real benefits to being the first game of the bowl season. After the conference championships there is a lull before the bowl games begin. I think college football fans are excited for the bowl season to begin, so the first bowl of the bowl season reaps the benefit of college football fans ready for some more football.

{As far as RFK versus Nationals Park} We looked at both venues, but for this year we decided that RFK was the best fit. Certainly the tradition of RFK helped us in making the decision to play there.

JSB: Watching bowl games in years past there are usually a lot of empty seats at some of the earlier bowls. As someone who is apart of the inaugural EagleBank Bowl, how do you make sure that doesn’t happen to your bowl?

MR: We’re excited about the inaugural game in Washington D.C., as you know it will be the first bowl to ever be held here. We believe our city is a great sports town. We’re excited to bring another event on an annual basis. We’re confident Navy (if they win six games) will bring their very loyal fan base into the city and into the game.

JSB: How much time was put into pursuing a bowl game for our Nation’s capitol?

MR: Shawn and I first came to the decision that we wanted to at least pursue the opportunity in December 2006. There is an actual application that must be filled out, and that is in what large part what the NCAA reviews, and there is an in-person presentation as well.

JSB: Reportedly about 1.6 million fans attended last season’s bowl games, and about $222 million in revenue from those games was distributed to the participating teams and conferences. How much money will teams participating (and their conferences) receive from playing in the EagleBank Bowl, and how much revenue does D.C. hope to bring in from the game?

MR: On the revenue side there are so many extenuating circumstances. Rather than focusing on the revenue we bring in, we’re excited about our two charities, Positive Choices and the Wounded EOD Warrior Foundation. In addition to our two charitable organizations we also plan to offer charitable funds to the women’s athletic departments of the two universities that play in our game.

JSB: Any other final thoughts?

MR: We’re very very excited to host this game, and we hope the fans will come out and support our game.

SCOTT JACOBS

It was the quintessential start to a hire questioned from sea to shining sea.

Was Rick Neuheisel the right man to turn around the Bruins people asked? No one doubted his credentials, the man wins games wherever he goes. But it was his ever-growing rap sheet of NCAA violations that made UCLA’s hire of the former Bruin QB questionable.

Well, at least for now, question it no more.

After UCLA’s wild 27-24 OT win over Tennessee on Labor Day in primetime, not only does UCLA now have a new pep in their step, they can once again, dream big. Big as in Cade McCown big, when the big QB led the Bruins to an almost undefeated season back in the late 90’s.

Practically an afterthought in LA since the USC Trojans began their rampage through college football in the 21st century, the Trojans not only stole UCLA’s thunder, they demolished the rap that LA was a two team town.

But no longer.

After a wildly awful first half from third string QB Kevin Craft, who threw 4 interceptions in the first 30 minutes, including one taken back for a touchdown, the Bruins looked like they had a mess at their QB situation. But Craft responded beautifully, completing 18 passes in the second half, including a laser beam touchdown pass to tight end Ryan Moya, which gave the Bruins a three point lead with less than a minute to go.

But it was short lived, after a squib kick (don’t teams learn?) gave the Vols quality field position, with one time out. Tennessee’s QB Johnathon Crompton led the Vols down the field in a perfectly excuted display, and the Vols were able to tie the game when Daniel Lincoln nailed a 47 yarder as time expired.

But the Vols weren’t going to win this game. Not on the day that Neuheisel put his first stamp on a UCLA program that now looks to be back on the rise. After Kai Forbath nailed a 42 yarder, the Vols played safe (again, don’t teams learn) and settled for a field goal attempt from Lincoln, who just missed a 34 yard field goal. And that was it.

A game many Bruin fans circled on their schedule for months, was over. The Bruins had won.

They aren’t going to challenge for a national title, nor are they likely to figure in the Pac10 title discussion this year, but when the dust settles, and Neuheisel gets a year or two under his belt, this team will be good. Damn good.

Just like this game. The best game of the weekend, was the last one of the weekend. College football is back, and this one put a stamp on a pretty entertaining weekend.

For UCLA it’s the start of a new era. The Neuheisel Era. And for now, the former Bruin, is having the time of his life.

Will it last?

If he doesn’t screw up, why the heck not!

SCOTT JACOBS

You look around. O crap you realize. Today is the first day I can download the new NFL Mobile Live on my phone exclusively from Sprint. You’re ready. At least, you think you are. But, you forgot one thing, king of the couch. Your 32 NFL team slogans for the year. Now in pocket size. So you can take them anywhere you go! Like a fortune cookie, only without numbers, and taste.

Today- The AFC

Patriots- Yes, technically the Giants won the Super Bowl. But c’mon, we should get like a medal or a plaque or something for going 18-1.
Jets- Place your bets everybody: Will Brett the Jet get us into the playoffs? Will his career be ended by an injury? Will he retire mid-season? The fun has just begun so place your bets now.
Bills- Now with that fresh new Canadian smell. But don’t tell anybody about that, we don’t want anyone thinking that we might relocate or nothing.
Dolphins- No one knows who we are! We could probably play a game in Canada and few would probably recognize. But hey, we’ve got Chad Pennington and uh, that guy (points to the hot dog guy), so yeah, take that!

Colts- Can you think of a better name for a stadium than Lucas Oil Stadium? Cause we could. But hey, money first right?
Jaguars- Can we go one year without hearing relocation rumors? For Pete Sake, has anyone seen where we play? It’s beautiful!
Titans- We’re not going to lie: we’re just as nervous about this Vince Young guy as you are. But hey, we got rid of that guy who eats the dots. What was his name again? Was it, draft bust?
Texans- Mediocrity was a beautiful thing for us last year. This year, we try to become the greatest Texans team in history… by keeping our quarterback healthy. For once!

Steelers- Seriously Pitt! You’re stinking up the joint at Heinz Field. Can we please have our field back?
Browns- We promise never to wear brown on brown. And we hope our play, considering we’ll be on national TV a lot this year, doesn’t look like crap either.
Ravens- Doesn’t everyone rely on Delaware quarterbacks to resurrect their franchise?
Bengals- Coming soon: Chad Johnson versus Michael Phelps. It will distract you from the mediocre product we plan to put on the field this year.

Chargers- The People’s pick for like what four years now? Don’t you get it guys: we’ll win a Super Bowl when we’re ready, not when you tell us to!
Broncos- Now that we got the Democratic National Convention out of the way… we can uh, you know what, I’m really not sure where we’re going with this. The team is clearly just not that good.
Chiefs- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Chiefs. Chiefs who? You know, the team that fell off the face of the Earth last year. Yeah, that one.
Raiders- Boy do we look fun on paper. But for us most of this decade, there’s been little fun on the field. Or anywhere for that matter.

SCOTT JACOBS

Paul Pierce was speechless for a minute as he tried to catch his breath.

The sports world was left speechless with him, as the Celtics completed a remarkable comeback, none seen by any man woman or child in Finals history, climbing the mountain to win a game no one could have ever forseen.

The Lakers came out with a vengeance, and raced out to a huge 24 point lead. And I looked at my dad and basically said, this looks like Heat-Mavs all over again. But, then, it happened. Boston happened. Cutting the lead down, and slowly working their way back into a game that looked lost after the first 12 minutes, the Celtics not only ripped Los Angeles’ heart out of their chest, they took a bat and a shovel and beat Los Angeles’ title hopes into the ground.

Forget how unbelievably demoralizing a loss like this is any situation. But to blow it in the NBA Finals, with a chance to tie the series and take away any momentum the Celtics had, just leaves one stunned.

I’m going to go out on a limb, and say that this is the back breaking type of loss that could not only kill a team’s psyche, but alter the course of history. Some teams never come back from a loss like this. Sure, they may sustain success in the regular season, and come back and look like they’ll be right back again the next year, but these type of collapses are the stuff that just cripples a team, long after the final buzzer has sounded.

Boston, after finishing dead last in the East last season, and second worst in basketball is one win away, 48 minutes to be exact, from pulling off one of the most mind blowing turnarounds in recent sports memory.

“A lot of wine, a lot of beer, some shots, maybe like 20,” said Kobe Bryant, when asked what he would do. It’s going to take a lot of praying too Kobe. Because even with injuries to Paul Pierce, Rajon Rondo, and Kendrick Perkins, the Lakers still have proven to be the inferior team.

It’s hard to believe, considering the full steam ahead wave that the Lakers rode into these Finals.

Boston was the one that struggled to get here, but right now that is looking like the greatest thing that could have happened. Those games against the Hawks, against the Cavs tested Boston’s mental makeup, and they overcame what could have been severe disappointment.

97-91. Remember the score. It represents the greatest comeback you may ever see in NBA Finals history.

“We just wet the bed. One of the ones you couldn’t put a towel over,” said Bryant, as he tried to laugh off a devastating defeat.

There’s not only a big wet spot in the middle of the Staples Center floor, but there’s a stink that is simply unavoidable. The Lakers were one mediocre third quarter from a sure-fire chance to sweep this three game set in LA and put all the pressure on Boston, going back to Beantown.

Now, theres no guarantee this series will even get back to Boston.

It’s a mere certainty though, that the Celtics are the better team.

In a Finals filled with intrigue, that is the biggest story of all.

I never thought I’d be saying this after LA took a 24 point lead early in the first half.

It’s over.

You can count your lucky shamrocks on that.

SCOTT JACOBS

“The buzzer couldn’t come any sooner,” said an elated Paul Pierce. “We finally made it.”

“We’re in the Finals!” he screamed, smiling like a 10 year old.

Go ahead Paul. Scream and holler all you want. What seemed unthinkable just a mere year ago is now reality. The Boston Celtics, Eastern Conference Champions? Last May that would have came across as a cruel joke, on par with Billy Buckner chants, but now, well let’s just say it’s the truth.

Celtics players huddled around the East finals trophy, chanting, “beat LA.”

It must be something in the water in Boston. All Bostonian teams do, make it to championships!

The Celtics are just the latest Beantown staple to join the ridiculous title tea party, schmoozing next to the Patriots and the Red Sox.

Celtics-Lakers and no, it’s not 1987. It’s 2008, and you’re not going to wake up and see San Antonio and Detroit vie for the snoozer championship.

“We don’t want the silver ball, we want the gold ball,” said Celts coach Doc Rivers.

In 2007 the Celtics walked off the court in their final regular season game, with the worst record in the East, and the second worst in the league. They were among the top two… in uh losing accomplishments. Now, they’re going to the Finals.

“It’s going to be a spectacular series,” said Jeff Van Gundy.

The Lakers have been there 29 times, the Celtics 20. The Lakers have won it 14 times, the Celtics 16.

Prepare to add another chapter to the history book, and leave space on the Nielsen ratings for some out of this world TV ratings.

Like em or hate em, you’ll be watching.

And you can’t use the excuse that this series lacks star power. This series is loaded with so much star power, it’s blinding.

It’s an incredible turnaround for both teams. Kobe wanted to be traded last off-season. Paul Pierce thought he would get dealt. Now, a year later, the two superstars will face off for an expensive diamond encrusted ring they can fit on their finger.

How?

Um, like the bumper sticker says, “Garnett happens.”

The NBA where “how the F*** did that happen” happens.

Who would have thunk it?

Nostradamus you there?

SCOTT JACOBS

You feeling lucky punk?

Yeah you Chicago. You just pulled off the heist of the post-season when you stole the number one pick in the NBA’s annual Rip-off-teams-palooza (aka: the NBA Draft lottery). With a minuscule 1.7% chance to land the number one pick, the Bulls, who finished with the ninth worst record in the league, got to Secaucus, NJ hoping that their 2.4% chance to get in the top three, would possibly land them six spots higher. Instead, they hit the jackpot, vaulting over league worst Miami and Dwayne Wade, to snag either Derick Rose or Michael Beasley.

Tough decision. But who ever thought they would have that decision to make?

For that matter, how does the NBA’s Draft lottery allow such blasphemy to happen?

If I had to go with a ridiculous scenario going into the night, I would have picked the Knicks to get a top two pick. (The whole Mike D’Antoni, bring back the swagger back to the Gawwwwwwwwwden type thing, just screamed conspiracy). But New York stayed right where they were. At number six.

D’Antoni opted for the opportunity to ressurect a trainwreck over a Bulls team a year removed from a Conference Semi-Finals appearance. And now the Bulls have the number one pick. The story is so good it just has to be fattening.

Meanwhile, Kevin Durant was unable to bring second worst Seattle a top two pick. Instead, the Sonics who had a 17.07% chance to land the third pick, an 18.78% chance to land the second pick, and a 19.90% chance to land the top pick, fell all the way to number four. The tough luck franchise got bitch slapped by the karma gods who have probably been watching their ugly legal battle ensue. I can vouch that Seattle/On Our way to Oklahoma, heck just name us the Barons and give us black and gold unis, were prime candidates to get screwed. The NBA hates what’s happening with the whole situation, and after Seattle lucked out landing Durant last year, karma was not going to let a bunch of greedy jerks inherit another kinda/sorta sure thing.

So here’s the skinny on the fat.

1. Chicago- Go buy a lottery ticket Bulls fans. Today is your lucky day!
2. Miami- Well, at least we get Beasley or Rose, though not the position to pick. Scraps could be worse though.
3. Minnesota- Boston and KG take on Detroit in the Conference Finals on ABC/ESPN. We jumped up a spot from number four, but we still won’t be relevent for another 230 years.

As for the Lottery itself:

1. Only teams with the top 5 crappy records should get a shot at the number one pick. The Bulls won 33 games. That’s 18 more then the Miami Heat!

2. Cut the crud ESPN. The lottery actually happened hours ago, with the build up started at 7:30, and didn’t end until about 8:17 Eastern time when the envelopes were finally opened. 47 minutes of “just announce the damn lottery already” is enough to cause even the most casual of fans a hint of aggravation.

3. Stop the celebrity interviews. Ask me if I care that Jay Z is a minority owner of the Nets. Go ahead, ask me! No. I couldn’t care less. And if I wanted to see celebrities boring the crap out of me, I’d watch MTV. Moronic Television.

As for the playoffs…

1. Nothing’s a sure thing. New Orleans should be back next year, but who knows. A year ago the Bulls were chic picks to go to the East finals, and they failed to make the playoffs in the EAST. A slipup in the west with Portland on the rise and at least seven other quality teams means that the Hornets should not take anything for granted.

2. Chris Paul is a fabulous player, but he needs to develop akiller instinct. He needs the ball in his hands late in games, not Pargo. Not Stojakovich. Paul needs that D-Wade rage, where he just goes off, and scores 13 unanswered himself. Once Paul does that, the Hornets (who will reportedly be styling new unis next year) will be golden.

3. Give me LA. If I had to venture odds on teams left in the post-season and who has the best shot to win it all based from worst odds to least, this would be my list:

4. Boston- Win a road game and then we’ll talk
3. Detroit- I’ve got a funny feeling they’re going to the Finals
2. San Antonio- That game seven win in N’Orleans was impressive
1. Los Angeles- It kills me to admit this, but it’s their championship to win this year.

One final thought:

With 2:35 to go in the first it was Boston 12 Detroit 11. That was with Detroit on an 8-0 run. I just hope this isn’t a sign of offensive mediocrity to come. We shall see.

SCOTT JACOBS

The NBA Playoffs are too long. We know that. I know that, you know that, and David Stern secretly knows that. But for the last couple years, ever since the NBA made the awkward transition of making the playoffs almost as long as a WNBA season, the league has slowly gotten more drawn out and less exciting.

And this second round fiasco hasn’t helped make things move along.

In a shocking event of home team dominance, unprecedented as far as my recent memory goes, the home team is 10-0 in the second round. Count that again. Ten and Ohhhh. Aka: what happened to that amazing regular season where every team was so close, and who stole my Doritos?

The Lakers have shown themselves to be the superior team against Utah (They lead 2-0). The Pistons beat Orlando thoroughly before the Magic took Detroit to the wire in game two, only to give the game away with awkward late plays. Of course, they promptly won game three at HOME to push the series to 2-1. More on that series in a minute.

The Hornets pulled away big time after two close halftime scores in New Orleans, and appeared like they might be the first second round road team to win on the road. But after a spirited play by Chris Paul, the Hornets got flat and the Spurs ran them out of the gym in a fourth quarter rally that just screamed, “we needed this game a lot more then you did.” That series is 2-1.

Then there’s the Boston-Cleveland series. Lebron is shooting like 20% for the series, and the Cavs haven’t eclipsed the 80 point mark in either of their first two snoozers in Beantown. Ray Allen didn’t score his first point of the SERIES until the third quarter of game two! And that first game: well it set back NBA basketball the way Adam Sandler’s Eight Crazy Nights set back animation.

So here’s where we stand: LA 2-0, NO 2-1, DET 2-1, and BOS 2-0.

But this home cooking thing might actually get worse.

Utah which looked way over-rated in two very bland games in LA goes home to Utah where they lost 4 times all season. If they can’t be LA in their home gym where they’re a different team, that series could be a sweep.

The Spurs are one win away from evening their series up after Tony Parker played out of his mind. What to look for: how New Orleans plays to start game four. The Spurs have their mojo back, and the Hornets are still a very young team. Plus, even though no one wants to admit it (okay, just me), the Spurs are the defending champs. Even if their bench calls themselves the 35 Club.

The Pistons already lost one game in Orlando, when over-paid Rashard Lewis had the game of his life. Now, Chauncey Billups health comes into question. The Pistons go to guy suffered a hamstring strain, and Detroit was flat without him. On Saturday Night we find out if the Magic have a Cleveland in them (aka: total reversal of fortunes, an Atlanta: well we can win the home games, or a Phoenix (we got one win in us, now let’s self combust)). Whatever it is, its not too difficult to see that series going back to Detroit nodded up at two, just like it was with Philadelphia.

Finally there’s Cleveland. Their offense has been atrocious in this second round, and Lebron is stinking up the joint. Of course the Cavs are a much more relaxed home team, and their role players (o who are we kidding: everyone except James is a role player on that team) tend to play better and look more comfortable. That said it’s hard to have any confidence in the Cavs given their first two monstrosities. But Boston was so shaky on the road with Atlanta that I want to see them prove they can win a road game, before I assume that game three is when they will.

Finally, there’s the schedule. It really bothers me. How can the Magic and Pistons already have played three games before the Celts and Cavs played two? The NBA playoffs are so long to begin with, what would be another two days to make sure everyone is on the same page in terms of games played. Had Detroit won their first three games against Orlando, they could have advanced to the Eastern Conference Finals before Boston played its third game. That just doesn’t make any sense.

What they should do: Let the Haws-Celts play game seven and not start the other series until Monday and Tuesday. The playoffs are so long as it is, would another couple days really matter?

Finally, this second round has lacked spark. Take away a very good game three in San Antonio tonight, and a very close game two between the Pistons and Magic, and this second round has been as disappointing as Balls of Fury. And that movie, for the record, was absolutely horrible.

One last note: can anyone beat the Lakers right now in a seven game series? Not only is LA loaded in their starting five, but their bench would probably make a better starting five then anything Miami sent out the last two weeks of the season. In all seriousness, LA’s bench is absolutely sensational, and they are playing terrific, fundamentally sound ball right now. I think I’d be a reach not to think that LA is going to win it all this year.

Of course. I’ve been wrong before (like way too many times).

So Mitch is ranting about summer plans, and how he doesn’t want to watch the Lakers-Celtics series if it happens, and how basketball really isn’t his thing. And here I am, sitting in my room, with a week left, wondering what the University of Georgia is going to be like when I go up there next week. O wait a minute, that’s not what I’m here to write about. You (and by you I mean people who visit this site eagerly anticipating my latest posts) want to see my picks. And if you don’t, well hell, you’re going to get them anyways.

Last time I ranted about the Suns-Spurs, but I didn’t really give good reasons why any of the series would go the way I picked them. So here goes my playoff picks and why I’m making them. The best regular season in some time is unlikely to be shadowed by an even greater post-season, but in the end, I think we’ll look back at this unbelivably long post-season and smile.

Expect to hear people say, “O my god, I survived that!”
Expect to hear people say, “If the Spurs play the Pistons in the Finals again, I’m moving to Iceland.”
Expect to hear people say, “The NBA wants the Lakers-Spurs, otherwise no one will watch the Finals.”

Ya know, it’s not like people care in the other 28 cities at all or nothing. When the Celts and Lakers were down one person officially watched the NBA Finals every year. And that person chooses to remain annonymous. O crap, I’m pulling a Mitch, and I’m rambling.

If my basketball picks are as accurate as my hockey picks (aka: not accurate at all) I will be really disappointed. Here goes nothing in the hardest post-season to predict since Coach Carter.

The L(EASTERN? Conference

1. Celtics vs. 8. Hawks
The Hawks have to go down as one of the worst teams to ever qualify for the playoffs in post-season history. Mike Woodson led Atlanta to the second season, but he still may get the ax, because his team went a daunting 37-45 outlasting the terrible Indiana Pacers for the last spot in the East. I have yet to find an analyst that has press credentials who legitimately gives the Hawks a chance to win one game. Mike Bibby used to anchor Sacramento’s high scoring attack during their glory years, but the Hawks are phonies who are lucky the NBA hasn’t gone to a top 16 format, instead of mediocre meteor shower of garbage East teams. You may see where I’m going with this. Celtics in FOUR.

2. Pistons vs. 7. Sixers
No one thought the Sixers could do anything, let alone make the playoffs, even in the horrid East. So give Maurice Cheeks a lot of credit. I know not much has been said about this because the caliber of conference is slightly unbalanced, but do you realize that Philly is a higher seed then AI and Denver? Again, I know it’s the East, but still, at 40-42 (which would be good for 11th in the West) it’s a nice story. Unfortunately, Detroit is better, a lot better. Deeper too. Detroit’s had the same starting five sans Ben Wallace for a while now, and they know how to win in the post-season. I’ll throw the Sixers a bone and give them a game three win, but nothing more. Pistons in FIVE.

3. Orlando vs. 6. Toronto
Let’s go back a bit. Remember when Billy Donovan signed on to be Magic head coach for like five years, and the team sold all those season tickets because the thought of Billy the Kid heading a blah team was intriguing, and then Billy decided to go back to Florida and Orlando had to give all those season ticket holders their money back? Well, the Magic hired the right guy in #2 Stan Van Gundy. The Heat just wish they had him on their bench right now, but are instead stuck with a wishy washy, never wants to go away Pat Riley. With Stan leading the way Orlando won the Southeast, the first team in that division’s history other then Miami to accomplish that feat. Though they overpaid huge for Rashard Lewis, he and Dwight Howard, along with Hedo Turkoglu have formed a very good team, one that exceeded every expectation in winning 52 games, and finishing third in the East. The Raptors who won the Atlantic last year, never had any prayer of repeating that with Boston’s dominance, and only made the playoffs because they play in… THE EAST! This will be a decent series, with half of it shown on NBATV (Because this match up couldn’t be less appealing to the casual fan). I’ll give Toronto a few games, but Disney beats Canada’s hope, as the Magic advance in six.

4. Cleveland vs. 5. Washington
X factor in the East: Gilbert Arenas. I know he missed 60 plus games this year, and can’t seem to stay healthy, but the guy is a terrific player when he’s on the court, and a clutch scorer. I think the fighting Lebrons are living off of last year’s surprise Finals trip (aka: living in the past). I don’t think they’re that much better with Ben Wallace, Wally, and Delonte West amongst others. And I think the Wiz, who managed to stay afloat all year despite constant injury issues, are ready to make their third consecutive playoff tussle with Cleveland a charm. It’s the trendy pick I know, but Lebron can only do so much, and I think Washngton will expose the Cavs in a six game series that’s all about revenge.

THE WESTERN CONFERENCE (I talked about this yesterday, so I’ll be much more brief today)

1. Lakers over 8. Nuggets in five
Any match-up out west looks like it could go either way, but I think the Lakers will put away Denver pretty easily. Simply put, the Nuggets don’t play any defense and are much too on and off to stage a real fight. J.R. Smith is my player to keep an eye on, because he can shoot lights out or like no body’s home. If Denver brings their A game and shows they can play ANY defense it’s not crazy to think they can’t challenge LA. But that’s not going to happen. Kobe, Gasol, and Co. move on.

7. Mavericks over 2. Hornets in six
This seems to be a chic pic, but I’m not going with Dallas because every one else seems to be. I just think they’re the better team right now. Dirk Nowitzki has been playing out of his skull and Jason Terry has been playing much better of late. Dallas knows what it’s like to fight for their playoff lives compared to being able to breathe. They had to fight, the Hornets could breathe, and for that reason: Chris Paul and David West will come up short. But don’t worry, they’ll be back next year.

6. Suns over 3. Spurs in 6 games
These teams are so close it’s scary. But rage can do a lot for a team, and the Suns are incredibly furious after losing to a Spurs team that they thought they were good enough to beat. Phoenix went 3-1 against the Spurs this year, and 2-0 with Shaq. This is why they got the Big Fella. To stop Tony Parker, Manu and the rest of San Antonio’s slashers from carving up the paint. Tim Duncan no longer dominates Phoenix. Phoenix can rebound with San Antonio and second chance points no longer come ever other possession. This is step one of the Suns difficult trip through the west playoffs. But they’re going to do it, and their will be nothing controversial about it.

4. Jazz over 5. Rockets in six
Without Yao Houston was able to manage surprisingly in the gruesome West. But in the playoffs, with teams being able to zone in on their gaping hole in the middle, the Rockets look like one and done again. Their courage has been admirable, but Utah is just better. Unless of course they play like they did against the Spurs with the number three seed on the line. If they do that, I’m jumping ship. This will be competitive, possibly a seven game series, but Tracy McGrady will once again come up short, posing the question: will he ever win a first round series?

AS FOR THE REST OF THE PLAYOFFS…

SECOND ROUND

Celtics over Wizards in five
Like the Heat a few years ago when they held the top seed, the Celts will have no problem dismantling Washington. And once again James Posey will play a big role in ruining the Wiz’s dreams. KG, Ray Allen, and Paul Pierce will help too.

Pistons over Magic in five
The Pistons have been very good all year, and Orlando is still not deep enough, nor experienced enough to handle Detroit’s depth and experience. It will be close, and Orlando may even get a game in Detroit, but that’s about all I forsee. Pistons, as they seem to do every year now, go back to the conference finals.

Lakers over Jazz in six
Utah’s a good team, don’t get me wrong. But all this crap about them being primed for another big run after lucking out in the post-season last year is a little pre-mature. Utah is putrid on the road and that is not the blueprint for playoff success. And they’re going to have to beat LA at least a couple times at Staples, because LA is going to beat the Jazz at least one game at the Energy Solutions Center, or whatever the devil they call that place nowadays.

Suns over Mavericks in seven
These teams have developed a terrific rivalry over the years, and were taken out of the playoffs prematurely last season. This season they meet in somewhat of a surprise. And it will be one heck of a series. Throw out the seedings, Phoenix will have just enough to win a tough game seven at home, over a Mavs team that will bring everything they’ve got.

CONFERENCE FINALS

Celtics over Pistons in seven
Two dead even teams who have been sleeping through the regular season until they meet in the east finals finally get their crack at each other. So what’s the difference? Ray Allen goes on a tare and KG controls the paint in one of the best playoff series in years. Home court though will be the difference as the Celtics return to the finals for the first time since the Bird years.

Suns over Lakers in seven
Not a homer pick. And how can Phoenix beat the Lakers on their own home court in a game seven at the Stapler? Shaq. He’s closed out a seven game conference finals series on the road before. Remember Sacramento? The Lakers took the Kings to OT and prevailed on the opposition’s home court. Phoenix knows their window is closing, and the urgency will be there to pull out a thrilling, legendary series. The hero? Grant Hill, who came to the Suns to win a title. He’ll get his chance. Suns win.

THE FINALS

Suns over Celtics in six
Phoenix has been a top caliber seed every year since the Nash era entered phase two. This year, the pressure is still there, but a bit of the burden is off, as Phoenix has been sort of forgotten in the heapload of quality teams. The Suns series win over LA will give them the confidence and the swagger they need to lock up their first championship. And Shaquille O’Neal will promptly ride off into the sun set, carrying Steve Kerr and Mike D’Antoni to the title they dreamed of when they made the deal many moons ago.

The main reason though? Amare. He will man up, and play the best defense of his life, generating vintage Suns fast breaks. When the game slows down, the Suns have the interior presence they’ve never had to get the job done.

Phoenix wins it all. The six seed Suns… O, and David Stern will be there to hand Amare the MVP, and Robert Sarver the O’Brien trophy.

Now, how about your picks planet Earth?