SCOTT JACOBS 

Remember when I wrote a few weeks ago that, “No one wants to be a Clipper. Not really good players.” Well, yesterday confirmed it.  Welcome back to the show LA.  The Nightmare before, after, and during every basketball season you’ve played for practically every year of your sad existence.  The sad sack franchise that shares the same building as the Lakers (Staples Center for them, Staple your hope to the ground for the Clips), is once again on the wrong end of the NBA’s free agency flurry.

Elton Brand, the heart, the soul, well, I might as well just put it out there, “the one player who for seven years enjoyed being a Clipper,” finally smelled the coffee, and didn’t let the moldy old door, with the bullet shots in it, hit him on his way out.

The term, off to greener pastures gets thrown around a lot in sports, but for this time I can’t blame Elton.  Nope.  I feel a little sorry for the sinking ship that is the Clippers.  They whisked away Baron Davis from their Bay Area nemisis and appeared to be in great shape.  Brand had opted out of his contract with the intentions to sign a longer one, and he wanted to be part of the Clippers consistent push to be post-season factors.

Well, like they say in Forest Gump, “s@$& happens.”  Actually, Clippers happens.  Over and over and over again.  Like a really bad horror movie, you have to laugh from crying.

Its the gift that keeps on haunting.  Believe it or not there are die hard Clips fans out there, though it’s hard to be sure why.  Maybe it’s like rooting for the Zune over the iPod.  Ya know, try to do something different instead of being like everyone else. The iPod has 90% of their market covered, while the Zune is fighting for the leftover ten.  The Lakers have history, championships, hall of famers, legendary teams, great rivalries, and the best player in the game.

The Clippers have… um, well I”m not sure where I was going with that. LA has a second rate tag and a history of belly aching basketball, enough to make any sympathetic sports enthusiast cringe.

When they locked up Davis, the quick, potent three point shooting maniac who’s as tough as nails, it looked like things were looking up.  And then the sky fell down on their head.

The Sixers cleared some cap space, offered virtually the same contract the Clippers were, and down went the Clips playoff hopes, up went the Sixers expectations.

Donald Sterling, arguably the stingiest owner in sports, right up there with tight-wad Bill Bidwell of the Arizona Cardinals, was willing to spend the cash to bring back the face of the trainwreck.  Brand was a 20-10 guy for LA.  That doesn’t come around every day. He gave them respectability, he gave them that “guy” who wasn’t miserable playing for the team that many call purgatory.

He was the model citizen, the easy going star who you wanted to like.

When the Heat extended Brand a huge $80+ million contract as a restricted free agent in the summer of 2003, he told people he wouldn’t be that upset if the Clippers matched it.  They did.  And Brand instantly became one of the most likable guys in the league, because let’s face it, all the money in the world doesn’t buy a happy Clipper.

But when Davis signed it seemed to change the equation.  For a couple weeks sports fans and bloggers alike were going stir crazy about the Clippers being relevant.  Well, just like a decent wardrobe malfunction, LA had the spot-light for a little while.  And when the dust cleared it looked like they would have a quality team for years to come.

Ironically Corey Maggette bolted for the Warriors as news was breaking about Brand heading east.  LA’s two best players from that legendary 2006 playoff team (afterall, they’ve only had four trips to the playoffs in their franchise history) are gone.  Leaving behind a trail of broken hope, faded dreams, and ever so cruel thought of “what if.”

A pairing of Davis and Brand, along with a healthy Chris Kaman, Al Thornton, and Eric Gordon was apparently too much to ask for.

Some things are just too good to be true.  For the Clippers that’s almost always the case.

SCOTT JACOBS

Elton Brand opted out of his contract on Monday, giving him the freedom to parade his services around the league like Paris Hilton does at high function parties. But as soon as he broke the bond between very good player and unbelievably awful team, Brand said something few ever say. Unless they get paid. Like a lot.

“It definitely doesn’t mean I’m leaving the Clippers,” said Brand. “We’re trying to work it out. My intention is to stay.”

No one wants to be a Clipper. Not really good players. Except Brand for some reason. He seems happy living in LA, and living the oblivious life, while of course getting paid handsomely. Well, he has a reason to stay. A $65 million blur that would sure make a nice little sidekick.

Baron Davis is a Clipper. Yup, it’s true. Don’t scratch your eyes, don’t search for a stronger prescription, everything you’re reading is true. Davis, who brought back the run till you drop Warriors from irrelevant and boring, to exciting and high scoring, is taking his crazy beard to Hollywood. To play for the Clippers.

How ironic. Just two days before July 4th, an American signs for ludicrous money with a rich pro team that wears red, white, and blue. Now I remember why we celebrate our independence!

But this is big. No huge. No, no, I’m not claiming the Clippers are next in line to get to the Finals. No, that’s not it at all. Instead, the Clippers might actually be, uh, how do you put this without sounding crazy? O yeah, good. Yeah, the word least associated with anything about LA’s other team can finally be applied. If of course Brand stays true to his word, and does re-ink with the team he’s flourished with.

Merely less then a week after celebrating their Clipperization of the lottery, aka: 20 draft picks in the lottery since they instituted the thing not too long ago, the LA Clippers, the team named from a boat, is about to land the most intriguing fish in the free agent sea.

29 year old Baron Davis.

Like everything, there is a risk with the signing. Davis’ health. Why else would New Orleans have traded him a few years ago. He was a dynamite player then, but just could not stay healthy. Nowadays, he’s still a very good player, and he helped the Warriors pull off one of the most fun upsets in NBA Playoff history, when they took down the 1 seed Mavs in 2007.

So what are the Warriors thinking? Well, they’re probably pretty shocked. It’s like a guy breaking up with a pregnant Jessica Alba to be with Kristy Allen. Unexpected, but hey, crazier things have happened.

He’s fast, he’s gritty, he’s not afraid of anyone, and he has a handle on the rock like few else in the league. Once lighting quick, Davis is still quick on his feet and a relentless force on the court. He’s a leader and a fighter, and he doesn’t back down from nobody. He’s EXACTLY what the Clippers have lacked for… o who are we kidding, forever.

Sam Cassell was that guy, to a much lesser extent. But he was old, pricey, and declining. Davis hasn’t even galloped to 30 yet. And if he can stay healthy, no one will care that he’s getting 13 million dollars a year to make the Clips relevant.

Davis, you might remember put the final nail in the coffin for why the league needed instant replay, when in a playoff game years back against the Magic, he threw up a prayer 3 pointer that went in before time expired, before the refs decided he didn’t get it off in time.

Now he’s got a chance to do something bigger. Fit a square peg in a round hole. The Clippers had their one surprise season back in 2006 when they took the Phoenix Suns to a seventh game in the second round. But this move gives them a chance, dare I say it, to be consistent.

The west is loaded. No one’s denying that. No one’s pushing the Lakers off of their Hollywood throne, not after they became very relevant again. But this move is big. The Clippers haven’t been this interesting since they tried prying Kobe from the Lakers.

This time, they actually succeeded in landing their man. And Davis, make no mistake about it, still has a lot in the tank. The former UCLA standout averaged 21.8 points, 7.6 assists and 4.7 rebounds per game last year, but more importantly: he played all 82 games.

Imagine: a healthy Davis with Brand, Al Thornton, and Chris Kaman (aka: the guy who everybody thinks is a real caveman) and all of a sudden the Clips look pretty good. In fact, after a dreadful season in which everyone got hurt, and Cassell got bought out, LA looked doomed to another decade of laughs and giggles (at their expense of course).

But this changes that.

This changes the west, where 9 very good teams, becomes potentially 10? Maybe 11? At least on paper at least. The Clips, with a healthy and re-signed Brand will have a very nice mix with two big men down low, and a young guy in Thornton who knows how to put the ball in the hole.

So what are the Warriors thinking? Well, they’re probably pretty shocked. It’s like a guy breaking up with a pregnant Jessica Alba to be with Kristy Allen. Unexpected, but hey, crazier things have happened.

But Golden State isn’t exactly frozen in their footsteps. Immediately after losing the face of their revived franchise, G-State offered Agent Zero, Gilbert Arenas a max deal. Wow, imagine that: you replace one injury prone star with another younger injury prone star. I guess the Warriors wouldn’t exactly complain if Arenas bolted for the rowdiest fans in the NBA and Oracle Arena.

Maybe this supposedly dull off-season that was envisioned won’t be so dull after all.

In fact, this is exciting stuff. Though it will be sad to see the pilot of Golden State’s lightning quick attack bolting across the state, it will be very interesting to see how Davis does with the NBA’s so called cursed franchise.

And if his replacement is indeed Arenas, then I’d say the NBA’s Pacific Division just became the most intriguing division in the league.

Think about the story lines for 2008-09, months before tip-off.

*How will Kobe and the Lakers do with a healthy Andrew Bynum joining the fray?
*How will the Suns respond with an entire season and off season to integrate Shaq into the mix?
*What will the Kings do, now that Ron Artest regrets not opting out of deal?
*How good can the Clippers be with Davis and Brand in the fold?
*What will Golden State (with six key free agents still) look like come opening night?

That’s just one division.

Thanks Clippers. You may not win a championship with Brand. But you just won back my respect. And let’s face it, love him or hate him, you can’t help but respect what Davis brings to the table every time he takes the floor.

As far as the NBA goes, we could use a lot more guys like him.

Now the Clippers have him!