SCOTT JACOBS

We scoured the internet for juicy commentary and half assed insight on the biggest trades and moves made in the midst of the NBA Draft flurry. But then we got bored, and settled on these.

Richard Jefferson is off to Milwaukee in a move that makes the Bucks a playoff contender. Then again, how hard is it to finish 8 games under .500 nowadays? Why Michael Hunt thinks the Bucks are now a little better then they were before the trade. But keep an eye on the future, 3 years from now, when the Bucks will seriously have to take a look at their payroll situation.

While the Bucks seem to have some sort of plan, the Nets look a little clueless. And contrary to Mark Jackson’s glowing assessment of their recent activities, the Nets are going nowhere soon. Except to Brooklyn in 2010, and with it will go a heap load of cap space. Call it Lebron space. Then again, Amare, D-Wade, and Chris Bosh are all potential free agents that year. Still though, acquiring Yi and Simmons leaves one question: Is Vince Carter next? After all, the Nets have a mere two guys older then 25 now. That is truly the definition of a youth movement.

Toronto’s blockbuster trade for the oft-injured Jermaine O’Neal may have looked great on paper, but it doesn’t make the new look Raps that much better, nor any more exciting says Dave Feshuk. In fact, the trade makes the up and coming Raptors older, and slower. Bryan Colangelo’s vision for a sleek, quick European style team is out the window, and the death of breakneck basketball is quickly becoming more apparent by the day, as teams like Boston and San Antonio win their titles with stifling defense and timely offense.

Say what you want about Indiana’s uh, complete roster revamping, but this much is clear: no one is untouchable in Indiana. And to tell you the truth, who on that team is that great anyways? The once dynamic Pacers are now a collection of decent veterans, and potentially good young guys, with no superstar in sight. But hey, Pacers fans wanted change, and Larry Bird has delivered that… and the infamous “loads of cap space” for the future to get a great free agent. Because everyone is just dying to go to Indiana.

Grizzlies basketball is well… o who are we kidding, boring as hell. But Geoff Calkins applauds the pathetic franchise for making… well a splash. Okay, so they won’t win a championship he quips, but at least there’s hope. And those of you wondering what it would have taken to pry Michael Beasley from the Miami Heat? How about Rudy Gay. I guess Memphis isn’t totally retarded.

As for Minnesota and Kevin Love and Mike Miller? Well, I can’t even find a local columnist who wrote about it. Someone must have. In the meantime, check out their “logo face lift.”

The Heat got hot sauce when it selected Michael Beasley says Dave Hyde.

The Suns won’t be bringing sexy back with Robin Lopez, but it was the smart pick believes Dan Bickley

The best piece of work written about the draft was clearly this gem.

Though Bill Simmons annual draft diary never fails to disappoint.

SCOTT JACOBS

You’ve got to love sports. The way two pasts somehow interact, sort of like the movie Crash has the day Pat Riley retires, reverted to a side bar, because the Orlando Magic are the first team in the 2008 playoffs to advance. The day one coaching great steps aside, a rising star who once got shafted by the coaching great, finally gets his chance in the spotlight.

In case you’re confused, I’m talking about Stan Van Gundy. Orlando defeated Toronto today in game five, and they’re advancing to the second round for the first time since 1996! And who got them there? Well besides Dwight Howard, Jameer Nelson, and Hideo Turkoglu, how about some credit to the same guy who never got a fair chance in Miami?

Van Gundy is a very good coach. He’s a tough minded, hard nosed coach, who is both likable and fierce. Finally, he’s going to get a real shot to succeed. Of course, he wasn’t even Orlando’s first choice last summer when the Magic coaching vacancy opened up. Billy Donovan was. But Van Gundy was more then happy to be option #2 when Donovan freaked and jumped back to his cozy UF gig. Orlando quickly hired him, and the Magic won their first Southeast Championship in 2008, becoming the first team other then Miami to claim that title.

And Van Gundy, who was a dedicated Miami Heat employee, doing whatever it took, accepting reigns of the Heat just days before Riley abruptly reigned in 2005, was the guy who led Miami out of the gutter. Now he’s taking the Magic, who struggled to make the playoffs in 2007, to the second round.

It’s no mirage, nor is it a coincidence.

Van Gundy knows his hoops. He’s not fun or flashy, like Riley was, but he doesn’t lie. Something Riley did.

Van Gundy was forced out of Miami after the Heat got off to a slow start. He never griped, never vented, even convinced the media (or tried to convince the media) that he choose to be with his family, rather then his Heat.

But everyone knows it was Riley who say the opportunity for glory, and was thrilled to take it, after Van Gundy did his dirty work.

So, even as a Heat fan, it’s sort of nice to see Van Gundy taste success and advance to round two, on the same day the embattled Heat coach calls it quits. It’s just one of those things that doesn’t help Riley’s case. He should have let Van Gundy do his thing. He should of. And Riley led the Heat to a title, but not without alienating a lot of people, who felt he stuck his hand in the cookie jar, but only after the mouse traps had been taken out.

Now the Heat are dead last, dumped in the NBA cellar after injuries destroyed their team and bad moves killed their window of opporunity. The Magic on the other hand are soaring with SVG on their bench.

On the day that Riles called it quits, two men continued their opposite switch.

Riles is done. Van Gundy with the world as hs oyster, and Dwight Howard as his big man is just beginning.

SCOTT JACOBS

Chumps. Losers. Degenerates. D-Leaguers. No namers.

Your 2007-2008 Miami Heat!

For the worst team in basketball, not even two years removed from its first and only championship, the Heat have suffered through their worst season of basketball ever. Nope, not even their innaugural year, in which they lost 17 games in a row can top this nightmare, because people were just happy to see a pro basketball team in South Florida. Now, 20 years into what has been a rocky, wild, up and down run, the Miami Heat have hit rock bottom.

It’s not just their record, which is the worst in basketball. It’s not the fact that Shaquille O’Neal, now rejuvenated with the Phoenix Suns is completely defacing the franchise and the likes of Ricky Davis and Chris Quinn. It’s not the fact that Miami’s 54 points against Toronto were the lowest put up since the shot clock era. No, it’s all of that and so much more.

Miami’s season was almost predictable. Okay, so no one could have expected this, but the signs were there. During the off-season, Riley was unable to lure a pair of Milwaukee Bucks free agents to South Beach (Of course the irony is that the Bucks have lost to the Heat twice, the only team in basketball to do so). Miami lost James Posey, Eddie Jones, and Jason Kapono to free agency and got NOTHING in return. Miami’s free agent signings of note: Penny Hardaway (eventually cut) and Smush Parker (an expensive buy out) were morbid failures in every sense of the word.

The ship was sailing. The championship team was just a shell of itself.

D-Wade didn’t get into the action until eight games into the season. By that time, Miami was already five feet under. Shaq played half asleep when he was in, although he mostly just found really nice suits to wear when he didn’t feel like playing, on the bench. Pat Riley took a ton of heat (pun intended) for his team’s lack of heart, killer instinct, lack of continuity.

A few days before the season Riles shipped out disgruntled Antoine Walker to Minnesota for Ricky Davis and Mark Blount. The idea was to give the team some life. In some respects it worked: Davis is the only player to play every game for the Heat this year. But the problems really came when injuries starting attacking this team like the plague: Wade came back and was oft-injured, playing through pain, clearly not the same player he was in those NBA Finals in 2006. Shaq was a no show, half hurt, half gone. Alonzo Mourning was lost for the season in a heartbreaking way.

Since then? Well, Wade is out for the year. Shaq is gone to the Suns. Shawn Marion has missed 7 of his last 8 games, Udonis Haslem is hurt, Alexander Johnson is hurt, Jason Williams, Dorrell Wright is hurt. The list just goes on forever.

It’s weird too. I was interviewing the Heat back on November 16, 2006, a few months after their championship run, and I remember a reporter asking Riley what he was most thankful for: “having 15 healthy players” was his response. Two days later Shaq got hurt, and the downward spiral has continued ever since.

Why did Miami score 54 points against the Raptors? Well, for one they trotted out seven players. Bobby Jones and Joel Anthony (No, not Billy Joel) made up their bench. Ricky Davis, Earl Barron, Chris Quinn, Daequan Cook, oooh does it even matter?

Miami had a team of all D-Leaguers on the court at one point in a recent loss. Seriously, who is Kasib Powell?

Riley took his much publicized scouting trip to see Derick Rose and Michael Beasley, and Eric Gordon, and all those fun faces. They would all look good in a Heat uniform. Here’s the thing though: Don’t you just get that gut feeling that Miami will somehow get the 4th pick. Like this season has been so bad, that the odds will somehow bite Miami in the backside? And outside of Beasley and Rose who else will help the Heat right away? That was a trick question: anybody.

Finally, this was Miami’s first four subs off their bench against the Knicks (who are actually not as pathetic right now thanks to the Heat): Joel Anthony, Stephane Lasme, Kasib Powell, and Blake Ahearn. O Miami, the season is almost over. Hang in there for a handful more of games and this nightmare will soon be over. And heck, maybe Kevin McHale will jump from the T-Wolves to the Lakers and dump Kobe Bryant in your lap. Well, someone has to dream. Right?

A hearty congratulations goes out to Shaquille O’Neal. You’ve done what once seemed impossible: bring down my two favorite teams and bring them down hard. No, no, it wasn’t enough to watch your $20 million blob sleep in the paint and do nothing. Instead, the Heat had to trade you (just fine with me), but their partner, the Phoenix Suns just made it seem like a cruel joke. And yet, after a couple days I bought into the trade. “O yeah, this can work,” I wrote. “Phoenix can win a title with Shaq.”

True or false: I actually believed what I was saying? True, with huge hints of optimism.
True or false: Shaq has killed two franchises with one monstrous contract and an inability to say, alright, I quit? True.

After Denver ran Phoenix off of the court, dropping the new look Suns to 3-5 since his arrival, or for those of you keeping score at home: from 1st to 6th in a matter of weeks, it was clear this massive experiment has a long ways to go. And by the time it works (if it ever works) Phoenix may astonishingly find its way out of the playoffs. Yeah, the uber competitive Western Conference is that good. And the sketchy as heck Suns look that shaky.

Steve Nash is playing like he’s aged 3 years since Shaq arrived. Amare is getting his, but has also managed to somehow get worse defensively. Gordon Giricek has been brought in as a shooter, and all I saw him shoot yesterday was bricks. Raja Bell is a shell of the player he was a few years ago. Grant Hill gives it everything he’s got, but he simply can’t replace Marion. Boris Diaw plays with unchartered inconsistency, so much so that most Suns want to run him and his $45 million contract out of town.

Suns fans are fed up with Mike D’Antoni. His team has shown no defensive toughness or improvement since Shaq, and a lot of people are starting to think he’s a one trick offensive pony. The guy is a mastermind offensively, but bringing in Shaq was a big mistake. Even if Marion wasn’t good enough to win a title, the Suns could have been patient and tried to trade him for someone young with a much more flexible contract.

Unless Shaq miraculously retires in the off-season (not happening, with $20 million coming for two more years after this) Phoenix will probably go down with him. The most entertaining team the NBA has seen in years is looking older and less of a contender by the day. Trading Kurt Thomas looks dumber every minute. Ditching James Jones was a dud. Selling off a 2010 first rounder to Seattle could cause a nightmare in, well, 2010.

But the biggest deal, is that they have no bench. Playing 7 or 8 has worn down this team. Players are opting not to come here because they know that there are no minutes for them. Starters are getting worn down because they have nothing left for the playoffs. This is an old team, second oldest in the NBA. Things aren’t looking good.

And two more years of Shaq: well, let’s just say, he’s done it.

His contract screwed over the Heat. And how his contract and oldness is going to haunt the Suns.

Thanks Shaq.

For nothing!