SCOTT JACOBS

Hey Joey Porter. Knock, knock. Anybody home? No. No one’s home? Well you know what? That actually makes sense.

Because after your ridiculous, absolutely asinine statement that Miami would get win number one against the Pats because backup Matt Cassel was starting, I’m questioning if there’s any brain cells left in your head. No? Okay, makes more sense now.

“I just know he’s not a Tom Brady,” Porter said. “So if it’s not Tom Brady, it shouldn’t be that hard.”

But wait. There’s more!

“It’ll be good to go out there and get our first victory.”

Um, yeah…

Whatever you say Jerry.

Now I’m not a mathematician but I can add, and you guys are coming off a 21 point butt whipping in Arizona that was long over early in the third quarter.

But yeah, the Dolphins look like prime contenders to knock off New England.

What’s that?

The Patriots have won 21 straight regular season games? Meh. That wasn’t with Matt Cassel. Besides, Miami was the last team to beat the Pats in the regular season, kind of astonishing if you think about it.

If someone asked you a trivia question on who beat the Pats last in the regular season, would you ever guess Miami? That is if you weren’t from New England or Miami? Probably not. In fact, I’d probably start throwing some CFL teams and maybe a few AFL teams before the Dolphins. Heck, I think USC would beat Miami. And I say that as a Dolphins fan!

But yeah Joey. Trash talk the defending AFC champs.

You do know that Brady isn’t the only holdover from last year’s team right?

Right?

Knock knock. Anybody home?

“I’m not going to be mad because [Brady] ain’t out there and we get the backup,” said Porter. If we get a victory for the rest of the season against all backups, I’ll take 14 wins against 14 backups and feel good about it.”

Um, Jerry, uh what have you been drinking lately?

Do you not remember that your team is 0-2, the offense looks horrible, the running game is non-existent, the stupid penalties are still there, the immobile quarterback who can’t throw deep is still taking snaps, and your number one wide-out is already being proclaimed a bust in year two?

Did you forget somewhere along the lines that your team won one stinking game last year. One. Not to be confused with 11, or even 4. No one.

So I get it.

It makes perfect sense. The team that can’t win will beat the team that doesn’t ever lose.

Yeah, I’m ready to call my bookie now.

Did I mention that the game was in New England? Did I put that out there?

Because the game is in Foxboro.

Home of the… o yeah, I remember now, Patriots!