SCOTT JACOBS

That took a long time.

A day after the Brewers pulled off the “please get us in the playoffs, it’s been 25 years, and we want to pee our pants” trade for CC Sabathia, the Chicago Cubs sat on their heels did nothing for 24 hours, and then completed their own mega-trade, landing Athletics’ pitcher Rich Harden.

In unrelated news, the NBA’s Western Conference wants their story-lines back. What’s next? The Cardinals bringing Roger Clemens out of retirement? The Pirates signing Barry Bonds to get them over the .500 mark?

We haven’t even hit the All Star break, yet the two biggest names to switch jerseys have probably already been etched in leather.

Sabathia. Harden. Cubs. Brewers.

If nothing else, this ought to be fun.

The Brewers went for broke dealing for Sabathia, the 2007 CY Young award winner. They dealt some very good prospects to Cleveland for the right to rent the massive pitcher for a few months. Milwaukee was so desperate that they traded for Sabathia weeks before the trading deadline, just so they could shove a pair of starts in before the All Star break for their newest star. After all, when he leaves at the end of the year the Brewers get a couple draft picks in return. Hopefully by then, the Brewers will still be celebrating some kind of playoff success.

Now onto the Cubs. With their trade for the very talented, but oft-injured Harden, the Cubs have positioned themselves to not only make the playoffs, but to make a deep run. Chicago is already 17 games above .500, and their 475 runs scored are second only to the Rangers.

Clearly they can hit. Now, there’s little doubt they can pitch.

Adding Harden (5-1, 2.34 ERA in 13 starts) to the mix gives Chicago so many quality arms that they now just might have the best overall rotation in the league.

You decide:

Carlos Zambrano: 9-3, 2.96 ERA
Ryan Dempster: 9-3, 3.24 ERA
Ted Lilly: 9-5, 4.47 ERA
Jason Marquis: 6-5, 4.78 ERA

The two trades look great on paper. Then again, so did the Mets.

The NL Central was a mediocre fight in 2007 between two very underwhelming teams: the Cubs and the Brewers. In 2008, barring a St. Louis fade, the Central figures to be an exciting three team race. Think of the NL Central as last year’s NL West, and think of the NL West as last year’s Central. Basically, the divisions have swapped places.

And nowhere are they happier then in Wisconsin and the Windy City.

Ya know what, I think I like that title. Sorta catchy, no?

Wisconsin and the Windy City: Part 1, with many more to come.

At least for this year at least. Because while the Brewers take their rental for a spin this week, Harden is under contract for 2009 and is making a paltry $4.75 million this year. Sabathia is most likely one and done, expected to command Johan Santana money, and some team (ignoring Santana’s over bloated contract) will pay it to him. It just won’t be the Brewers.

And with Ben Sheets a free agent too, this is Milwaukee’s window to end 25 years of no playoffs: a half a season.

The Cubs are staring up at a bigger number: 100. As in, if they don’t win a World Series this year they hit the grand ol’ century mark for infamy. The Brewers… well, they’ve never even won a title. Though, they did get to the Fall Classic in 1982, incidentally they last time they made the playoffs at all.

Back to the Cubs. Again, it should be pointed out that Harden is no sure thing. The A’s loved him when he came up, and he was great– when healthy. Which isn’t often. Harden’s made six trips to the DL in six years in the bigs. Not exactly cute numbers.

But for what Chicago gave up, a disappointing Matt Murton who isn’t exactly tearing the cover off the baseball in Triple A hitting .250, and a few other prospects, they can afford to take a chance on the talented ace.

So it’s clear that long term the Cubs are in better shape. They can re-ink Harden if they so choose after this year or during the 2009 season. Though this does have a familiar tune to it.

After all, the Cubs used to rely on an oft-injured pitcher for years to keep alive their title hopes. His name was Mark Prior. And how’d that one work out?

So before you run out and buy World Series hotel reservations Cubs and Brewers fans, know this: this looks great on paper, but it only matters what happens on the field. Disappointment is possible. Anything can happen.

Then again, who am I kidding. Cubs and Brewers fans know that better then anybody!

SCOTT JACOBS
Second in a week long series as we approach All Star weekend at Yankee Stadium
Yesterday: The best stories from the first half

5. The pathetic NL West
Baseball’s best and most exciting division in 2007, the NL West is once again back to the NL’s worst. After fielding three teams with 88 wins or more last year, including NL best Arizona and Wild Card winner Colorado, the division was being heralded as finally back, after a few miserable years earlier in the decade. But with huge expectations, comes a lot of room for disappointment, and the West has been miserable this year.

The Diamondbacks started out red hot and appeared to have the division and the league on a string, but have since free-fallen, plummeting from a league best 12 games above .500 all the way to .500. Luckily for Arizona, the disappearance of their bats, and their bullpen at times, has yet to cost them their perch at the top of this pile of crap.

Why? Because the Dodgers are still under .500 and they’re second in the division. The Giants are third, 10 games under .500, and only five out. The Rockies, who stunned Trevor Hoffman and the Pads in the Wild Card play in game last year, are once again just slightly better then San Diego this year. Unfortunately for them, that doesn’t say a whole heck of a lot. The Rockies are 33-51, not even a year removed from their first World Series appearance. The Padres meanwhile have plummeted to a 33-52 mark, and injuries have decimated their chances. But it’s more then just records. The numbers are atrocious too.

Arizona went 11-17 in June, yet they still lead by 2.5 games. The Dodgers are 14th in runs in the NL, 11th in On Base Percentage, and 15th in slugging. Thankfully for them, their team ERA is a terrific 3.76. The Giants are 10 games below .500 at home, and they’ve been outscored by 43 runs. And about that Barry Zito guy…. uh, let’s not. Colorado’s pitching has been atrocious, and that might be nice. In the six major pitching categories the Rockies rank no better then 10th in the NL, including 15th in ERA and opponent’s batting average. Finally there’s San Diego, and we don’t even need to give their stats. Just know this: when Heath Bell, leads your team with wins, and he only has six, you’re in trouble.

Will the winner of the NL West finish below .500? I wouldn’t count on it. But there could be a silver lining to all of this. Maybe. The last time a really mediocre team won their division (St. Louis, 2006, with an 83-78 record) they also went on to win the World Series. Just throwing it out there.

4. Randy Johnson refusing to retire in a painful effort to get to 300 wins
This one is self explanatory. Sometimes guys just don’t know when to quit. And it is getting really difficult watching these all time greats finish their glorious careers toiling in mediocrity. The Big Unit has been reduced to a Big Joke, losing eight straight starts, right on que with his free falling team. And he’s not exactly coming at a hometown discount. Johnson is getting paid $15 million this season.

What’s the money buying? How about a 4-7 record, with an ERA over 5! Not exactly the stuff of legends. So let’s see. In two years since returning to the desert, Johnson has eight wins total, and has failed to even pitch 150 innings. All the while getting no closer to that magical, and shrinking 300 win club. Johnson is still 12 wins short, and at this rate the 44 year old looks like he will never get it. After 20 years, you’d have to be in denial not to believe that Johnson should be hanging up his spikes.

3. Barry Bonds’ desperate attempt to play for anybody
I guess it depends how one looks at this story. Some find it comical given Bonds’ incredible fall from grace. But me? Well, I just find it really pathetic. In case you haven’t heard, Bonds has basically offered his services to anybody that wants him. No word yet if the Toledo Mud Hens are interested. But seriously, not only is Bonds willing to play for anyone who wants him, he’s willing to play for the minimum. Look, I applaud guys who still want to play and still have something to give. usually we call those team players. But don’t think for a second Bonds is anything close to that. He’s the anti-teammate. Just look at the Giants, who may not be good, but at least they don’t dread every road trip they make anymore.

Still though, analysts have suggested that the Rays or maybe even the Red Sox take a stab at Bonds, and bring him on board for the stretch run.

I have a response for them: they’re crazy. The Rays have great team chemistry and a very good mix of young players and vets. They enjoy playing with each other and they are rolling right now. Why would you bring in someone like Bonds, who would completely destroy the focus that the TEAM is getting right now. And who needs that kind of media scrutiny around them every day? For that matter, who would want that?

As for the Red Sox: well they’d be insane, I repeat, insane to sign Bonds to their team.

And when the Hall of Fame doesn’t even want your historic, record breaking home run, well neither should any MLB team.

2. The Mets firing Willie Randolph
The Mets needed a change, no one denied that. But was the change needed at 3 am? Willie Randolph wasn’t getting the job done, and few were shocked by his firing. But everyone was caught off by New York’s timing. Even in the city that never sleeps, most people snoozed through Randolph’s firing, and woke up the next morning to find out that the Mets’ leader was now without a job. The timing was ironic in every sense of the word. Just a year earlier (exactly) the Mets had six players and GM Omar Minaya featured on th cover of Sports Illustrated. The story praised the job Minaya had done in assembling a talented and young team, that was on the cusp of something big. O the irony! Well, $138 million don’t buy what it used to, and the Mets mediocrity, in addition to their epic 2007 late season collapse cost a good guy his job in embarrassing fashion.

Since then, the Mets have turned it around, winning 97 games, en route to another NL East crown. O wait a minute, that was 2006. 14 games later the move has made absolutely no difference. New York is 7-7 in the 14 games since Jerry Manuel took over the reigns. More amazing, is that the unamazings have scored less runs then their opposition. With that stacked lineup that is simply inexcusable.

Misery loves company though, so at least Randolph hasn’t been the only one canned. Actually in that week, three teams, including the miserable Mariners canned their head man. And none have made strides since.

1. Shawn Chacon’s total loss of self control
The 30 year old right hander from Anchorage, Alaska had always been a serviceable pitcher. He wasn’t great, wasn’t terrible. But for the most part, Chacon has been a relative unknown to the casual fan. Well, that sure changed this season. And for all the wrong reasons. Chacon assaulted Astros GM Ed Wade during a dispute and was placed on waivers the next day. Shockingly, no one claimed him.

Chacon isn’t even good enough to be one of the guys who’s a nut case, but worth the risk. His 45-61 lifetime record in the bigs isn’t worth the baggage he would bring to any team. In 2005, Chacon went 7-3 with a 2.85 ERA helping the Yankees get into the playoffs. In 2003 Chacon won 11 games for Colorado, no small feat given their historic pitching woes. But in 2008, what will likely, if not undoubtedly be his final stint in the majors, Chacon imploded. And the player who never would’ve had a legacy if he just did his thing and had an okay career, now is a household name for being a jerk. And he should be in prison for his actions. Great role model. Glad to see him gone.