MITCHELL BLATT

Stephen A. Smith knows what it’s like to be a poor black man in a country and basketball association run by rich white people!

David Stern is white. Dirk Nowitzki is white. NBA VP Stu Jackson is black.

There you have it. This proves what Stephen A. has been saying for so long and what he opened his column for ESPN Magazine with: “If it’s white, it’s all right!”

Despite that fact, ESPN the Magazine decided to hire a black guy as one of their new writers.

I know, I’m as surprised as you; I didn’t even know Stephen A. Smith wrote columns.

If he gets fired from the Inquirer, mysteriously quits his radio show, and all he has left is a blog that no one reads, ESPN is going to find a way to give him back a means of diseminating his opinion which he has no credentials or expertise to express.

Stephen A’s first column actually makes sense. He ends up saying that the NBA is expanding to white people from Europe not because or racism (!!!) but because of globalization.

I don’t know why he would risk alienating his audience with such logic.

He just expresses it very convolutedly. His opening paragraphs:

If it’s white, it’s all right! Contrary to what the NBA wants you to think, there’s still a rising perception that the league is interested in growing its population of international players who are of a lighter hue. The perception is that this is happening to appease white patrons exhausted by the behavior of 20-year-old millionaires gone bad—whose culture, and pigmentation, is different from their own.

I’ve heard such noise emanating from African-American communities in the aftermath of the Brawl in Auburn Hills, nearly four years ago. The argument goes like this: The NBA hasn’t had an American-born white superstar since Larry Bird, and teams will travel to any and all corners of the earth to find a Dirk Nowitzki, a Peja Stojakovic or someone else without a remote connection to Ron Artest. The noise has been echoing again this spring, as 13 of the 16 playoff teams have at least one white international player in at least a supporting role.

Even when he says “This isn’t racist,” he has to start out all of his columns by saying, “Yeah, this is racist.” Having a team that’s not 100% black? RACIST! He waits till the end of the article to say, “Wait, maybe interational players should be allowed to play, too. Maybe it’s racist to segregate the NBA.”

Maybe, but if you read between the lines, you can see that this is really an NBA of KKK.

Stephen A. Smith is one of the most hated sports personalities on earth. And for good reason. I could mention his ultra-seriousness and angryness that makes him scream stuff like, “The Celtics need a point guard! I don’t care how good the big three is!” I could mention how he once thought the Chargers should kick a field goal on third down. I could mention a lot of things, but it’s best just to hear it from his fans.

Here’s some of the best comments left on his blog:

If I was forced to choose between saving your life and Osama Bin Laden’s, I save Bin Laden. Then I’d take him out drinking to celebrate your death.

-Jay

Stephen, please stop screaming
-Hellen Keller

-Gonzo

More comments:

Remember when you said the Chargers should kick a FG on 3rd down cuz if they miss they can kick it on 4th?

That was awesome. I hope this blog is awesome, too.

-lozo

Even your written word feels like you’re yelling at me.

-Brian

ESPN should have never fired you because you were a terrible talk show host and no one watch.

-R. Downing

So stupidity comes in an online format now? Terrific.

-Otto Man

This blog is as meaningful as an Andrei Kirilenko marriage proposal.

-More Credible

When did Stephen A turn into Malcolm X?

-Ab

Keep talking about politics. You are so smart and well trained to be a pundit on everything.

-Mike

I love this ‘Online Blog.’ I am reading it on my ‘PC Computer.’ I think I will make it a ‘bookmark favorite.’

-Redundantly Again

Why don’t you type like you talk-all caps?

-Matt

I love this blog, or should I say, I love everybody ripping you to shreds in the comments.

-mr obvious

I hope you get trampled to death by a heard of rhinos.

-Jay

LOLZ! I THOUGHT JOO SED DAT BLOGGGERZ R THE GAY!!11!1 BUTT U HAV A BLOGGG?!

-LOLZ

QUITE FRANKLY I’M AMAZED THAT YOUR BLOG ISN’T WRITTEN IN 50 POINT FONT!

-MY EYES ARE HURTING

Why do you hate me Stephen A Smith? I can’t understand why you keep yelling at me through my TV.

-T H&G

I muted my computer when I came to this ‘blog’ just in case.

-T H&G

You’re completely full of shit and your opinions are unsubstantiated…

PS – You frickin’ suck.

-PartMule

Skip Bayless challenged you to a yelling contest tomorrow afternoon in the ESPN parking lot.

-Titus Pullo

You can write this off as racism, but I’d still hate you if you were Chinese.

-Bukkake Tsuinami

A question that has plagued scientists for the better part of a decade: Is there life inside Stephen A’s head?

-NJPete

There is no writer who has more respect for journalism than Smith … with the possible exception of the guy who replaced him at the Inquirer, from which Smith was dumped for not having enough respect for journalism.

-NJPete

I’ve always thought you were Jim Henson’s finest creation.

-James Brown

Go choke on a Cheese Doodle, you clown.

-Bastard Son of Earl Campbell

My life would be much better if you, Skip, and Woody would ride off into the sunset drinking 40’s in a Cheese Doodle truck.

-It ain’t easy being cheesy

Does it take a lot of work to suck so much or does it just come naturally to you?

-Lee Marvin

Keep up the shitty work. It’s always good to know whose job I will take eventually.

-SAS Sucks

I understand that blogs are informal, but you would flunk out of elementary school with puntuation like this.

-Dave

Remember that time you had a coherent thought? Me neither.

-no

Introducing Cheez Doodles Records latest rap sensation: Stephen… A… Hole… Smi-ith!!!

I made this remix of Stephen A rapping. It starts with a quote he made then proceeds to him making an intro and guest appearance in Snoop Dogg’s “Step Yo Game Up,” performed by Lil Jon.

The video kind of sucks at the beginning, but just stay with it. The man Stephen A really can add some good background okay’s.

(Screamed)
FOLKS, I’D LIKE TO SING A SONG ABOUT THE AMERICAN DREAM. ABOUT MY AMERICAN DREAM. ABOUT THAT SPECIAL FEELING I GET WHEN I’M ON TV YELLING AT PEOPLE AND CAUSING THEIR EARS TO BLEED. ABOUT THAT FEELING WE ALL GET WHEN I’M DISCUSSING THE KNICKS BEING ON THE CLOCK LATE IN THE FIRST ROUND AND QUITE FRANKLY, YOU JUST CAN’T STOP ME.

(Sung)
I’m just as good as a pill, when you’re not feeling well.
I compare myself to the great, Howard Cosell.
I like basketball and politics and football and such.
Isiah and Obama and Brady ’cause he’s clutch.
My wife and my job, Rosa Parks and my car.
Hangin’ out with MJ, and a big fat cigar.

But sometimes that just ain’t enough to keep a man like me interested.
No way.
No, I’ve gotta go out and have fun at everyone else’s expense.
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

I scream really loud, and I yell at my peers,
As people who watch me start to bleed from their ears.

I’m an asshole
I’m an asshole

My football advice makes me sound like a clown,
Like kicking a field goal when it’s only third down.

I’m an asshole
I’m an asshole

Sometimes I go off on intelligible rants,
While wiping cheese doodle remnants on my pants.

I’m an asshole
I’m an asshole

Maybe I shouldn’t be singing this song,
Ranting and raving and carrying on.
Maybe they’re right when they tell me I’m wrong…
NAAAAH!

I’m an asshole
I’m an asshole

(Screamed)
YOU KNOW WHAT I’M GONNA DO? I’M GONNA SHARE MY THOUGHTS ABOUT ONLINE BLOGS. YEAH YOU HEARD ME, I SAID ONLINE BLOGS. I KNOW I HAVE ONE, BUT I’M A PROFESSIONAL. AHEM, I MEAN A QUALIFIED PROFESSIONAL. BUT WHEN YOU LOOK AT THIS INTERNET BUSINESS, WHAT’S DANGEROUS ABOUT IT IS THAT PEOPLE WHO ARE CLEARLY UNQUALIFIED GET TO DISEMIN….DISSEM…..DISASSEMBLINATE THEIR PIECE TO THE MASSES. THE FACT OF THE MATTER IS SOMEONE WITH NO TRAINING SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED TO HAVE ANY KIND OF FORMAT TO DISASSEMBLINATE TO THE MASSES TO THE LEVEL WHICH THEY CAN. THEY ARE NOT TRAINED. LIKE I AM. I AM TRAINED. I DESERVE MY VOICE. AND QUITE FRANKLY YOU’RE GONNA CONTINUE HEARING IT. LOUDLY. AND YOU KNOW WHY?

(Sung)
Cause I’m an asshole
I’m an asshole
A S-S H-O L-E
Everybody, A S-S-H-O L-E
SLA, VE MED, VE DENK, OH OH
Thoomph A-thoom-thoom, A-thoom-thoom, A-thoom-thoom.
Oooooooo

(Screamed)
I’M AN ASSHOLE AND I’M PROUD OF IT

His latest posts have been the same hodgepodge of bs, mixing ignorant sports opinions with ignorant political opinions, for example on how he is so surprised a country as racist as America can love Obama so much.

One post that really intrigued me though, was his post on how all the haters are so envious of him:

Let’s call a spade a spade: There are people out here who can’t stand the ground I walk on because they believe I’m loud, demonstrative, bombastic, etc. Possibly those envious of the position I presently hold, failing to realize no one knows how blessed I am more than me.

Isn’t that nice, Stephen A, you’re arrogance has got to you, and you think you are the most blessed person (and most important) in the world. I don’t know who would be envious of someone who is as big of a joke as you and lost their column because of it.

In fact, I don’t see how any sports blogger would be envious of you when most of us have more traffic than you. Let it be known, that I have more traffic to my blog than Stephen A, and you probably do, too.

That’s right, Stephen A has a terribly low amount of traffic to his blog. He seems to get a lot of comments just because he is such a notorious man. All his visitors are either rabid supporters or rabid haters, so a lot of them comment, but I took a look at his traffic numbers using a variety of traffic estimation sites (since he isn’t going to give me his traffic info himself), and his traffic was terrible on all of them, considering the hype that his name generates. In fact, he’s ranked #924,200 according to Alexa, the Web Information Company.

Here’s the first comparison of Stephen A vs me using Alexa, which lists sites based on percentage of overall internet traffic generated:

As you can see, it’s dismal for both of us, and I had a big lead earlier after being mentioned as a “Blogger-Blog of Note,” then he passed me in his first few weeks, but overall, I’m ranked about 400,000 spots ahead of him at #433,150. No envy there.

Many other sports bloggers also compare favorably to Stephen A:

Stephen A in blue, Dan Shanoff in turquoise, The Basketball Jones in red, Cecilio Guante in black, and Need 4 Sheed in gold. Cecilio is a little bit behind and The Basketball Jones is a little bit ahead, but Shanoff and Sheed have definitive leads.

Back to my selfish competition with A.

Here is my estimated traffic from Traffic Estimate:

I can attest that those numbers are pretty accurate based on my Google Analytics stats.

His hits (He started the blog in January):

I know those traffic estimate sites aren’t always completely accurate, so I decided to verify it at one more site, Compete. One problem: Stephen A’s traffic is so minimal that Compete.com had insufficient data to graph it:

So there, Stephen, we don’t hate you because we envy you. Or because you are BLACK, as you mentioned here:

But once you throw the naysayers and haters aside, there’s a different crop in existence, much lower on the food chain – who choose to hate purely because I’m BLACK, that I wear my blackness proudly. They are appalled anyone would provide me the opportunity to articulate my perspectives to the masses.

We just think that it is ANNOYING when you decide to talk really loud and authoritatively on things you don’t understand just because you think that by talking loud you can get your point across to a larger audience of the masses. No, Stephen A, your blog traffic would definitely not constitute a mass audience. And that’s one thing that there really isn’t any discussion on.

More Stephen A Posts
Stephen A Wrong: Athletes No = Politics
Stephen A: Kobe MVP, No Discussion
Stephen A Blog: Register to Comment
Stephen A’s Second Entry
Stephen A Sucks at Politics
Complete Stephen A Archives

Another Link of Note: SEC Football Blogger Reviews the Sports Blogger Forums

MITCHELL BLATT

Stephen A. Smith bemoans the loss of the politcally active athlete. We know from his blog and from past interviews that he wants more people like Jim Brown willing to speak out on an issue. More people like Tommie Smith willing to raise their fist.

I don’t know why he wants these people to be athletes. I don’t know why people like Jesse Jackson or Cindy Sheehan can’t express his political views well enough themselves. But he seems to think athletes should be doing it. I seem to think that athletes are paid to play ball, and I don’t really care to hear their political views. Lets stick with ESPN for sports and C-SPaN for politics.

But, for someone who thinks that a journalism school degree, an extremely loud voice, and thirteen years of experience writing about basketball, gives him the credibility to talk politics on Hardball, they might think that athletes should voice their opinion.

Certainly, I have nothing against free speech. If an athlete wants to speak on politics, they should go ahead. But I’m not going to be listening. What do they know about politics that I don’t? I might listen to Bill O’Reilly or Rush Limbaugh because they have experience covering politics, and they are entertaining.

Athletes are entertaining when they score touchdowns, not when they talk politics. They are good at sports. O’Reilly isn’t good at sports. Watching O’Reilly run a route would be tantamount to listening to Randy Moss talk politics.

Rush Limbaugh tried going into football commentary. He failed miserably. I don’t see Stephen A. asking for him to come back.

Now, some of you might be like Rush Limbaugh, Bill O’Reilly, those guys are crazy! How the hell can you rely on them for political info! FAUX NEWS is biased!

That’s just the point. I’m not going to say anything about politics here because the only thing politics is usually good for is pissing people off. People are supposed to be united by sports, not divided. Sure we have our differences over whether the Pats are a bunch of pretty boy cheaters or whether they are the best and most honorable team ever. We love debating loudly about it, but we don’t really care. In the end, it’s just an exciting game, and the results don’t effect us. Sure the results of elections don’t actually effect us much, but they effect us a lot more than a free throw. When you’ve got war and peace and prosperity, lives might be on the line in politics.

We don’t want to hear why Shaq thinks the Iraq War is a failure. Nor do we want to hear (and neither does Stephen A. Smith) why Clinton is a commie who is about to ruin the economy with her tax raises.

And that’s what what we would be hearing for the most part if athletes spoke their minds. John Feinstein wrote in Next Man Up that about 90% of NFL players are Republicans, and the numbers are skewed that way in other sports as well. These guys make millions of dollars playing pro sports, so it’s really no surprise.

Stephen A. Smith bemoans the loss of people like Jim Brown, Tommie Smith, and Muhammad Ali. Notice all three of them stood for liberal ideals. So does Stephen A. actually care about the politically active athlete? No, he just wants liberal politically active athletes. Since when did “politically active” become synonymous with liberal?

In the politically active liberal athlete category, we do have a few. Carlos Delgado has spoken out about the War. So did Steve Nash and Nick Van Exel. Etan Thomas writes for the liberal blog The Huffington Post.

But, none of them did as much as Jim Brown did. None of them helped a slave rise up from his oppressive master and find freedom.

I am speaking of course of Mauirce Clarett.

Back in 2003 when Clarett was trying to enter the draft, Brown came to his aid, calling then Ohio State athletic director Andy Geiger a slave. He also said, “They cannot beat Maurice Clarett into being a slave in this society.”

So, you see where some of these politically active athletes can get you. Maurice Clarett rightfully could be compared to a slave now thanks to Brown’s guidance.

Furthermore, Stephen A. coming off as “politically active” and “tell-it-like-it-is” is as much of a joke as Rush Limbaugh on NFL Countdown. Smith admitted in an interview with that Muslim Sports Blog that he doesn’t even say what he believes!

I consider it my responsibility to express a point of view — even one I may admittedly not necessarily agree with — that echoes that of the disenfranchised, the individuals who feel passionately about something yet go unheard.

If you say something, you take it as your opinion. Someone who talks that loud and is that dogmatic with his opinions should understand that. When you say that Kobe is the the “obvious” MVP and that it’s “not even worth discussing,” is that your uninformed opinion, or the disenfranchised worker’s?

Seriously, though, his political opinions, not just his basketball opinions, make the disenfranchised worker look like an idiot if that’s who he speaks for. Why can’t he do something tough, something he wants athletes to do, and actually stand up for what he believes in? And if he sympathizes with the disenfranchised so much, why doesn’t he himself want to help them, instead of having to disagree with what it is they think. If he disagrees with them, then he shouldn’t be speaking for them, anyway.

This is like what he said on Hardball. He said that “as an African-American, I know that a lot of African-Americans are wondering if Obama is a viable candidate?”

No, they aren’t. You are. I’m sure there are a lot of other people, of black and white descent, who are or were wondering if Obama was a viable candidate. You are one of them. But, don’t speak for an entire race. Don’t speak for an entire “disenfranchised” class. They have voices, too.

Stephen A already has decided on MVP:

Kobe is the league-MVP right now, hands down. It’s so obvious, it isn’t even worth discussing, although I’ll have to tomorrow night on NBA Shootaround.

LeBron is leading the league in scoring and is also leading Kobe in rebounds per game and assists per game, so it would seem that there is some debate. Today’s contest may have furthered that debate depending on the outcome. I’m just here to talk about the first half, though.

And about Damon Jones’ hair!

I listed the top 10 worst hairstyles in sports last year, but if I were starting from this year, Jones might make it. He looks like a skunk.

More on the game: Near the end of the first, there was a delay because heavy rains had caused a leak in the ceiling of the arena. Or so everybody thought.

The game was delayed for a while while employees went up to check. …and found the dripping wet clothes taken off by workers for the team’s ceiling company and laid to rest up there.

Anyone else, if you’ve got something to say in this random weekend post about Kobe vs James, comment on it. I’ll be back with stuff that makes sense all week.

Here at Juiced Sports Blog, we pride ourselves in giving you the best coverage of Stephen A’s outrageous blog. (Just look at our past three posts.)

Well, when I was at Stephen A’s blog this morning reading his new post (or rather reading the comments), I realized something was different. When I clicked on Jay Mariotti’s name under his comment, the link took me to his column page. When you click on the new comments, they take you to a profile page of each commenter. That’s because you now have to register for Typekey commenting to comment on his blog.

After all the supportive comments on his first post, why doesn’t he want more people commenting? (end of sarcasm)

This ain’t gonna work, Stephen A. We hate you more than you hate us, so we will always find a way to win. You’re prank may have worked for now, as there have only been eight comments so far, but most of us hate you enough to register to comment.

If you really want to stop us, you have to get the Knicks security on this.

Knicks owner James Dolan has a very interesting idea about business: If you can’t beat em, outspend em. If you still can’t beat em, put your GM as coach. Finally, if you still suck, supress media coverage.

This is an old story, but it’s been happening at the Knicks arena for a long time–all this season, security has been stepped up, but they’ve always been brutal.

Anyway, someone was kicked out of a Knicks game for using the word ass when heckling Jared Jeffries. Some of the media were there to interview Giants players during halftime. The reporters wanted to interview the man, but they were held back by security, and one of them had their press pass torn off.

The ushers said that the media was impeding their ability to do their job by trying to interview him. Or by broadcasting to the public how oppressive the Knicks KGB-like treatment of fans was. The story got out, anyway, and it painted the Knicks worse because of the attempted censorship of the guards. To bad they don’t control the press outside of Madison Square Garden…

But, the press’ excuses for why they weren’t wrong were wrong. They said:

The security staff evidently felt that we had been impeding the ejection of the fan, which of course wasn’t true. We got nowhere near the fan, thanks to the overzealous security staff.

Not that the security staff wasn’t overly aggressive, but if you use the excuse that you got nowhere near the fan, your reasoning can’t be because security held you back.

That would be like an attempted murderer saying, “I didn’t do anything wrong. You guys shot me before I could shoot him.”

More Stephen A

Quite frankly, Stephen A’s blog is now my favorite on the internet just for the comments. He posted a new entry today that I read after commenting. Quite a stupid post actually. Mostly just the fact that he said:

One would be that Kobe is the league-MVP right now, hands down. It’s so obvious, it isn’t even worth discussing, although I’ll have to tomorrow night on NBA Shootaround.

So obvious indeed. Kobe is averaging 27.4 points a game, less than he did the past three years and only his seventh best average of his career. Yet he didn’t win any of those seasons…

But, who really cares about the post? The comments are what’s important. There have only been four comments so far, and only two have been against them. I signed up to comment, and posted this:

You were right when you said that bloggers have no credibility. You are a perfect example.

I will make sure to keep you updated on Stephen A’s blog’s comments as the year goes on. This weekend, I’m going to make a page that contains the best comments against him.

By the way, the blog, if you want to have a good laugh, is StephenABlog.Typepad.com.


More Stephen A Links

Stephen A Sucks at Blogging

Stephen A on Politics

MITCHELL BLATT

The political season has been so annoying and long-lasting–and it hasn’t even gotten through the primaries yet. But, the best example of how over-the-top it’s gotten is that Stephen A. Smith, the crazy basketball commentator, appeared on Hardball January 9th.

Stephen A. Smith talking politics? Most people don’t even want that guy talking basketball!

The main reason he was invited onto the show is that he was black. And, according to the media, anyway, all black people think alike, so Stephen A. Smith is a great person to speak for black people on the issue of Obama:

You have an abundance of African American voters out there who really are questioning how viable he was. At least, up to this point. That may not be the case now, but it was certainly something that a lot of African Americans were concerned about, because as an African American, I can tell you I was concerned it.

Stephen A. Smith also said that Huckabee was his top choice among Republicans and that he hated Giuliani. While he respects McCain, he thinks that he is too old. Hearing this from Stephen A. really clears up the race for me.

Course, we all know Ron Paul is going to get all the support here because it’s a blog. Al Gore may have created the internet, but Paul owns it. Recently, someone was campaigning for Paul in a Pete Carrol post:

I agree with you about LSU. Oh, and man, oh man do I agree with you about the Georgia game- I went, and it was, for lack of better words pretty boring. A lot of people left before half-time.
Alan

“People like polls so they can let the other guy make up their mind for them. Along time ago they called it Sheepherding.

I don’t honestly care about the polls myself. Mainly because the only candidate who truly gives a damn about the citizens he represents is Congressman Paul. I urge you to go look at his record whether you believe me or not. Don’t just tow the line read for yourself. The media, and his own party don’t want him (he poses a threat to them), but I feel that the people would- that is if they could get out from under the shoe of partisan politics and corporate manipulation.

A vote for Ron Paul would be a vote to put freedom back into the hands of the people. Don’t let Liberty die. Vote Ron Paul 2008.” *Note he wants to abolish most of your federal taxes*

Anyway, I hope you don’t let Stephen A’s analysis influence you too much when you vote…